October 18, 2022
Have you ever wondered, qhat if you won't write in any platform anymore? I mean, you'll stop writing just because of some reasons. Have you ever tried to stop?
Well, I just came up with this kind of delimma becausw nowadays, I felt so tired of everything and my mind won't work. I felt so wxhausted but I don't know where it came from. My mind keeps on telling me that I should do this and that because bills won't stop and relax. My mind is bombarded with this but I really don't know what I was thinking because they're a lot and sometimes my mind went blown to somewhere beyond. I can't control what I'm thinking that I ended staring at my phone just want to type anything but ended up nothing and closed the platforms. It happens many time not just here in read but also in hive.
Now, I was thinking what if I stop writing. And then suddenly, I snap put and said, oh no no the bills are waiting. I was looking at my partner busy with his phone last night. I saw that he's making his post on hive. I told him I still don't have something to write and he said I should take time and rest my mind. He said I should take some nap or watch movie if I want. So, I tried. I searched for Sem Cal Kapimi but I ended up watching some video clips on reels. But to no avail. I still can't come up with any idea to write. I decided to just write just how my writing went like a diary but boom so lazy.
I'm not losing interest to write. It's just that I felt lazy and don't know what to write. Maybe because I am sad and happy inside. I mean, I really don't know what I feel nowadays. I just can't pin point what exactly I feel. Just like for example, I am happy because I able to have a sub-teaching coming, but I'm not hundred percent happy because I am not going to teach my taken major and it's far from it coz it's Mapeh. I was then called again from one of the school to substitute for a Math Subject but it's far from our hometown and I'm thinking with my son so I chosed sub-teaching Mapeh here in our place. Another one, because I am so eager and hoping that I will be called by Deped, anyone who called on my phone makes me agitated and excited at the same time. But, I am always disappointed everytime there's a call and it's not Deped. Just like the other day, someone called on my phone. I really thoughts it's a Deped official in our division because she called me Ma'am and she asled me how I am. But then, it was the personal collection office asking me if I want to order a promo products. I looked at the phone screen and they again used another number because I kept on putting their numbers on my phonebook because it didn't just happen once but many more so I ended up blocking their numbers. I felt annoyed with those calls because maybe I am just frustrated of waiting for the call of our division.
Ayway, that's one of the reasons that I felt tired for everything and just like to be a pop corn. Have you experienced that? Being tired of everything that ended you not able to write even if you have something you want to write in mind? I just hope it will stop there already because I need to earn. I need to move and do the work to make things possibly light. I felt things so heavy nowadays that's why I need to make it light through doing what is right and productive everyday. And for me, writing here in read and hive will make things light and productive but how can I do that if my mind won't cooperate.
I am just glad that I able to wake up this hour because I ended up writing an article here. And after this, I'll go back to sleep. My head feels so heavy and I just want to lay down but I can't sleep well. I know, I'm stressed again but yeah that's it, gotta need to move forward and stop being lazy.
That's all for today guys. Gotta go back to sleep. Have a nice day ahead to everyone.