The things I wished I knew before I turned 20

Hindsight is such a funny thing in that we can no longer do anything about the situation. Foresight, on the other hand, is a good thing to have. There are things that I wished I knew back then that I would like to share with you guys in case there is someone younger than me here who has yet to encounter the things I did.

Maybe you will have a luckier time than me and not have to experience these things but if you are an introvert like me, feel free to read on!

1. Easiest part is over

While I would not call having only at most 3 hours of sleep every day because of school works as easy, the things I encountered as a teen in high school definitely make more sense than those I encounter when I hit my 2nd year of college.

So if you are still in your teens, I suggest enjoying it as much as you can instead of wishing to become an adult soon enough. And trust me having a job is not as fun as it looks even if you are earning a lot. I worked for a short time before the start of college, and it sucks even though I met a lot of good people and experienced new things. I also encountered the toxicity of a workplace and people who would make me feel bad for having a curfew (it's not my fault my parents are strict).

Maybe you can challenge yourself to try and apply for a job before you start college too, just to gain some experience. A tip you have to keep in mind is that it is a lot easier to get a job than to leave it. Depending on the company and industry, but from where I worked before, it took weeks before my resignation letter even reached the right people because my TL kept trying to stop me from leaving. Also if you are going to AWOL, be ready to sort out your clearance for your next work.

2. Be more approachable

Meet new people, make some new friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be shy in giving out help. Having friends will help you out in the long run. Sure there may be some lone wolves reading this and scoffing but trust me, as one of the pickiest people in friendships and even acquaintanceship, having people who can help you get out of sticky situations far outweigh the pros of being quiet. And having friends is not just for the sole purpose of what they can do for you, but also the companionship is something that you will need for the crazy world we live in.

I was really sad when the pandemic happened. After all, I was unable to be closer to my block mates during face to face because I was painfully shy with a snobbish face so it was hard. It was still something that I was hoping to do someday even if it has to be done at my next job or somewhere else. Just give yourself a chance to meet new friends.

3. Be selective with the people you surround yourself with

Be more approachable but be also selective in who you allow access to your life. Not everyone you meet will want the best for you, sometimes you will encounter people who wish to bring you to harm so be very careful with the people you choose to spend time with.

There's nothing wrong with having fun, but make sure that it is fun that is not going to bring you more harm than good. Let loose and try out new things with the people you trust. Making good memories is important too, so don't forget to have fun with the people you interact with. And don't be afraid to run the other direction when you meet someone manipulative (just run dude, there's not a good thing that can happen with that kind of setup).

It is wise to associate yourself with the people who are working towards the same goal as you. If you keep like-minded people around you, you will not find yourself lost. Similarly, if you find people who do not care much for the future at all, you will find yourself having a hard time deciding your future.

4. Read more and Listen actively

Knowledge is power and reading a lot helps you with that. Be sure to read books related to your interests and books not related to your interests. Allow yourself the room to grow and be ever curious about how things work. Be like a child in that you never want to stop learning. Don't just read books because it is required for school.

Listening actively will work wonders in your relationship. When you are communicating with someone, make sure that you truly listen to the other person instead of listening and waiting for your turn to speak. That said, people are walking libraries. We all carry different lessons as well, so remember to listen and to learn from everyone you meet. Yes, even that person you don't like has something to teach you as well, even if it is mostly the things you cannot tolerate.

5. Halfway through college

If you are part of the lucky group that had to experience K-12, then at 20 years old, most of you are probably in the 2nd year of college. Time flies so fast so make sure to pay attention to your lessons because I regret not really understanding all the lessons and just being satisfied with a passing grade. I think it would have been better to get not-so-great grades and understand the lessons in and out than have an above-average grade but not know anything beyond the basics. This is especially true for technical programs. Put all your lessons into practice! You'll never learn if you just stay stuck on theory. Sadly, the current setup really does not give us much of a choice in the matter.

For this, I would suggest attending seminars and workshops related to your interests. And if you feel like you do not want to continue anymore because you already find what you want to do and it's not in the degree you are studying for, try your best to still push through. Sure, you can get somewhere without a degree but having that piece of paper might help you out someday, you never know!

But if by any chance, you can no longer pursue a degree. It is okay. You do not have to beat yourself up over it, after all, we have different circumstances and we bloom in different environments.

6. Backup your files (always have a plan B)

Ever worked on a hard essay and you are already wrapping it up when all of a sudden the electricity is cut off? Yes, that is exactly why we must back up our files. Also, don't just keep all of your important things in one place, make sure you have at least 2 copies of everything, 3 if it something you cannot lose.

It also does not just apply to academic or professional files, but also personal. You will thank yourself for saving all your pictures along with the memories of them. It's better to have extra files than no files at all. So before you delete your files, make sure there are backups for it, just in case you did need the files you were certain you won't need a few moments ago.

7. Start now

Related to number 5, if you find something you love doing, start doing it now. Do not wait till you finish school or for a perfect time. That time might never come but the present is already slipping away, so start now, start where you are, start with what you have and your future self will thank you for it.

I find myself sometimes being bummed down because I wanted to do a lot of things but set them aside because I was more interested in doing nothing. Related to do this is that it is okay to find yourself back into what you used to love before. It is okay to start writing again, sewing again, drawing again or any other activities you used to love but gave up. It is okay to relearn all the things you used to love again.

8. Regrets are meaningless

There's literally no point in dwelling in the past. Just tell yourself you did your best and move on. Sure, it is easier said than done but those what-if scenarios your mind keep creating do not exist. Your actions were the best course to take when you did that so stop wasting your present because of your past. Focus on your present so that in the future you will not feel any regrets at all.

9. Work on strengths

I have always been more of a jack of all trades than a master of something. It is intentional because I wanted to be well-rounded enough to not need much of other people's help. However, if there is something that I would have wanted myself to know before I hit 20 it's this- work on my strengths instead of settling for mediocrity. I was always okay with producing good enough work, sometimes above average but I never really paid much attention to one skill in particular.

Don't trade the chance of being great at something for being mediocre in everything. You can be great at one thing and still be able to do other things. I found that having a skill to call my own did a lot to help me be more comfortable with my skin. So, find something you are good at and work on it until you become great at it, but don't neglect other things too.

10. Respect my body when it speaks

You are not a robot. Your body has limitations so listen to them when they make themselves known. Do not just brush aside the pain you are feeling, may it be physical, mental, or emotional. Be responsible for making sure your body is healthy.

Remember that everything you consume affects your body, not just food but also thoughts, ideas, etc. So be more cautious in what you allow inside yourself.

Set some boundaries too and stick to it. Make sure that you do not allow others to repeatedly cross your boundaries and get away with treating you like dirt. Treat yourself with respect and demand the same courtesy in return. Do not disrespect others, and do not let others disrespect you.

11. Date around before being in a serious relationship

This might be a piece of advice that our conservative culture will frown upon but it certainly has its merit. First, you will not be stuck in a relationship where the foundation is only the physical attraction to each other. Next, you will not be pressured to be serious about a big thing like this. Lastly, you're still young, you still have a lot of growing up to do, same with the people you interact with. Someone who seems to get you right now might grow up into the person who you can't get along with no matter how hard you try, and that is okay, that is normal. So allow yourself a chance to experience dates before being in a committed relationship.

Going out on dates also has the benefit of letting you know what you want and not want without the pressure of a relationship. For teens, we tend to just put aside our needs and wants to fit the perfect idea of a relationship that we have, which leads to unhappy relationships that sometimes evolve into toxic ones. So, do not be so eager to throw everything away to be in a relationship. You are not going to run out of options. The world is a lot bigger than you think it is.

12. Tastes change

The thing that is in right now might not be something that you would really want in the future. So before you spend a lot of money on something, ask yourself if it will be worth it a few months down the line.

Also, life gets more expensive the older we become. I remember when I was in high school, I was only thinking of food and school supplies. Now my school supplies are doubled and their prices are so expensive that I sometimes feel guilty indulging in nice treats (but hey, I deserved nice things okay?). My hobbies also become more expensive so think carefully before impulsively buying things.

I think it would be better to spend money on things that you know you will use again even after a few years than to spend tons of your allowance on trendy clothes today.

13. Invest in yourself and save for the future

This is related to numbers 4,7, and 9. You are your greatest investment so make sure that you are learning the skills that you know you can do. Always keep yourself healthy too.

Learn how to hustle and don't just depend on one source of money (which is usually our parents right now). Apply for scholarships, learn new things, sell something. Just don't let the opportunities pass you by.

And if you have the extra money for it, set aside some money to help you on a rainy day. It will be a great thing for unexpected things that certainly happen in our lives.

14. Stop comparing yourself to others

I saved this for last because I think this is the most important thing. I grew up feeling not enough because I would always hear people belittling my achievements by comparing them to someone else. And that is not okay.

There will always be someone better than you, and someone who is a little late starting out than you, and it does not matter. Life is not a race, it is not a competition. There is no need to try and overtake people who seem well ahead of you. There is no need to try and sabotage people for yourself. We all have different paces so just focus on your own journey instead of trying to copy the path of others.

The only one who you can compare yourself with is your past self. Just remember that. Be more focused on bettering yourself than on what others are doing.

There, I am done with the things I wish I knew before I turn 20. I wrote this because time flies so fast and I might not notice that I am already 21 years old. What about you guys, what are the things you wished you knew before you reached 20?