Why people ended up killing oneself?

We are shocked on the Facebook post that we saw a couple of days ago. Our batchmate in college killed himself by hanging himself on the roof. Who will ever thought that he will do suicide? He is a very jolly person. A good friend to the people around him and no signs of having a problem that's why everyone is shock because of what happened. No one knows why he did that. Even a simple post on Facebook or a shared problems to his friends , there's none.

I have a friend during our High School days. She is very pretty girl and I can describe her as a doll because of her white skin and blond curly hair. She's a silent type of girl and her words are limited when talking. When we are on college she killed herself too. We have no communication that time because we are studying in a different university. I asked my other friend why she killed herself and they said theres a news that they reason why she did suicide is that she's a lesbian and shes inlove with another girl but she's afraid to tell her family about that.

I also have a batchmate during High School. We are not close but he is a friend of my boyfriend that time. When they meet I am also there with them. It was the final year of his college days when we knew that he killed himself. He do suicide beside the tomb of his father and on the tomb they found a letter. What's with the letter? Its a sorry letter for her mother because he failed his mothers dream. He was a nursing student and on his fourth year but unfortunately he failed the one subject resulting that he will not able to graduate. His mother was working hard to sell some fish so that he can finished college but that's what happened. He don't want to disappoint his mother that's why he killed himself.

Then there's a guy who lives in Sta. Mesa back then who also killed himself and the reason why he did that is because his girlfriend broke up with him. He's only 16 years old and choose to end his life because of what happened. Many people said sayang ang buhay kabata bata pa. And also agree with them because there's a lot of people of want to live and willing to pay for millions just to live but then here's a set of people who choose to end thier life.

Different reason why people do suicide. Sometimes I am thinking about that too. To be honest I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid on the idea that after I died who's the one who will take good care of my son. Sometimes I am also thinking about dying because of the pain that I feel on my body. Sometimes I created a scenario on my mind wherein I talk to my friends and relatives to take good care of my son when I'm gone. But despite of thinking all of that thought it never came to a point that I will do suicide just because of the problems I have. Yeah it's very draining and sometimes I can no longer feel myself and didn't see what the future will be. Feeling demotivated because of circumstances that comes to my life.

The only thing that makes me strong is my son. He's the only one that makes myself encourage to fight and stand up. I am in the situation wherein I really need a peace of mind but I don't know how to do it.

Just a random thought.. thanks for reading..

PS ( I wrote this one yesterday , carried away by my emotion and over thinking but I am okay so don't worry about me. I am a fighter despite of circumstances that I am facing now. )