I exploded: Having an argument with my father.

I am struggling on my anxiety for a couple of months and it's been a year since I felt like I am prisoned in the four corners of our house. Since my mother leaves the house last year I am the one who take all of her responsibilities. Yesterday my father told me to take good care of myself and don't make myself tired and stress. I am cleaning the house when he said it and I am laughing and I answered him sarcastically that how can I take good care of myself and how can I able to rest then laugh. Then he told me my son is still young that's why I need to take good care of myself.

Then in the afternoon , like the usual routine of my father he was drinking red horse and yeah I let him drink even if I want to told him to stop but I let him because I knows he's going through into something. My son was sleeping that time and my sister and my niece went to the town proper. I am not feeling well yesterday because of pain in my abdomen and also back pain that's why I want to lay in bed always so that my back can relax. I was with my son and I didn't noticed that my father already fell asleep sitting in the chair in the front yard. I only saw him when I get his clothes that I wash on the morning.

Then I wake him up and told him to go inside and rest but my sister and my niece came and he didn't go the sala to rest. I let him doing what he want but I am looking on him.

It's 6 PM that time when I decided to fold his clothes and clean the floor and I told him to lay in the chair so that he can rest. My voice was raised because I am talking like that normally and then he asked me if I am mad at him. I didn't answered him and fold his clothes then he started to talk about things that is not meant to said.

I got annoyed because I am hurt. He told me that nagsasawa na daw ako sa kanya. He even added that lalayas nalang daw sya and then he connect it to my mother like parang kampi na daw ako kay Mama or nalason na daw ni Mama utak namin.

I shouted because of my emotion. Why he keep on connecting to my mother even if it's not. I am crying while talking and I don't care if my neighbors heard me. I only asked him to sleep and rest in the salas. Then I told him I am very anxious and madami akong iniintindi. Iniintindi ko yung gamutan ni hubby , iniintindi ko yung sa bahay , iniintindi ko sya , iniintindi ko pamangkin ko. Then while I am taking he didn't listen to me and keeps insisting his thoughts then I exploded.

This is what I told him..

Nagmamalasakit lang ako sayo Papa. Ano ba gusto mo hindi kita pakialaman at hayaan kita dyan? Pinahihiga lang kita. Wag mo sakin isumbat na nagsasawa ako sayo kasi hindi yon totoo. Sino ba yung kasama mo nung mga panahong iyak ka ng iyak? Ako lang. Sino ba umaasikaso sayo? Ako lang. Sino nangangamusta? Ako lang Pa. Then I cried so heavy and parang nahimasmasan sya and said sorry to me.

I told him to sleep already and then I went to our room and continue to fold the clothes. I said those words for purpose. I said those words because I want my sister to hear it because she's also in the house but he didn't asked how's Papa or anything.

While I am folding the clothes I cried and cried and my husband is just looking at me and offered that he will he the one who will fold the clothes but I told him I can manage.

Then before he leave the house earlier he said sorry again to me.

I know making an argument to your parents is not good but for me fighting for the right and also for enlightenment us good especially if someone need it even if it's your parents pa.