"Social Media vs. Reality"

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Avatar for Venus1996
2 years ago

March 19, 2022

To love somebody and let somebody enter your life is like gambling. You gamble your trust, patience, love, time understanding, and the whole of you.

To be accepted by someone you don't know or even you know brings so much happiness. It affects your outlook on life because before you are looking forward to something for yourself but know that you are now a couple you look forward to something together.

Communication makes relationships strong and peaceful relationship, with fewer arguments more adventures, and sweet memories together.

But you need to be careful in falling in love with somebody or to be loved because you can't control all the scenarios that you might both experience throughout your relationship. Things should be well balanced to avoid harmful events that might be the reason for having a toxic relationship. A lyric of a song once said "too much love will kill you".

As I've experienced in my past relationships, they have different ways of showing their love and affection, different aura, different ways of handling the relationship, different attitudes, and personalities.

Let me share with you the very toxic relationship I've experienced before I got married and my husband is also aware of this story. I hope you can learn something that might help you to be enlightened about everything.

When I am in my first year of college, my cousin introduce me to this guy. He is a 4th-year student taking up a Bachelor in Criminology in one of the state's universities.

As usual, everything starts in a friend stage followed by knowing each other's information, likes and dislikes, so on and ends in a courting scenario. He is nice, smart, respectful, and also not a picky guy like others. He courted me for almost two months after I see his sincerity I accepted him to become my boyfriend.

He is brave to visit our house and ask my parents for approval to visit me every Saturday and Sunday morning and since my parents saw how dedicated he was they approved.

The first month up to the third month of our relationship, everything went well, we choose to fix arguments instead of making it a big deal. Sometimes smooth and sometimes rough, it just balanced.

Until we are in our fourth month up to six months in a relationship. From balanced turns to uncontrollable, he changed. The real him shows up and that is the reason why our relationship becomes toxic.

I grew up with the freedom to choose what I want to wear, and to tell you frankly I am a short-short fanatic before. When we are in our fourth month he becomes a controller, he controls everything in me like what to wear, what to put on my face, and who to talk with. So, to avoid arguments I've decided to follow his rule. But his controlling attitude becomes worst when we are in our six months in a relationship.

At every event in school, he appears there like a ghost and picks me up to go home in the boarding house where I stayed. He got angry when someone looks at me like what? I can't control other people to look at me because they have the freedom to look at everyone in the area. And everything we do it should be posted on social media.

One night after my dance troupe practice, I called him because I want to clarify everything that he is just my boyfriend and not my husband. Even we are together we need to respect each boundary and limit. When I explain to him my side, he listened and stared at me like he wants to attack and kill me. The tension went up when I told him that I want space and if he cannot respect me and if he will not stop controlling me it is better to end our relationship.

He grabs my arms and holds them tightly as he can. I feel so much pain and I shouted for help. I am so lucky because one of my co-dancers hears my voice and he immediately runs together with his board mates where we are both located. They saved me that night.

After that night, he comes to my place to ask forgiveness but I don't want to see his face that's why my landlady told him to leave me alone, he also called my mom asking for help to convince me to get back with him and the worst thing is he was drunk and he makes a show outside our house. All my uncles grab him and try their luck to calm him after he was convinced by his mother to stop bothering me because there is no chance to fix our relationship.

Everyone who knows our relationship got shocked they can't even imagine how sweet we are on social media and in reality I am a prison and has no freedom to do things I want. They can't believe how toxic my relationship was.

That's why don't even try to be jealous in another relationship because they always posted their sweet photos together, they travel together and they have fancy dates but we don't know the real story and the real happening in their relationship. Yes, they are so sweet on social media but in reality, their relationship was toxic.

Be appreciative even your boyfriend doesn't post sweet messages or photos on social media, doesn't bring you to fancy dates, or bought you expensive things at least his love for you and intention is real.


Closing Thoughts:

Give yourself a worth, always remember that you are not a remote control operated toy to be controlled by someone. Don't be blind to fake love and expensive things, love yourself.

Wake up in the reality and start to move forward to have a better life.


Thank you so much for reading and spending your time with me. I hope you learn some lessons that might help you in the future.

Let me flex my beautiful and generous sponsor @renren16. You can directly click the name mentioned or like her profile on my sponsor's block to read her published articles.

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Avatar for Venus1996
2 years ago

Comments

Kahadlok ba ana. Maajo gani kay wa ko kasuway ug toxic. Pero naay usahay na di ganahan si jef na mag short ko sauna kay di daw siya ganahan taawon ko. Mao ahu siya giingnan na nanguyab siya nahu na hilid na ko ug shorts so di ko niya usbon. Mao to nahilom siya, mao ra man sad to iya first attempt. Ja karon wa syay mahimo pud nyahaha siya pud sig ingun na palit unsay ahu gusto na para sa ahu kaugalingon. Tapos di pud hilig si jef ug post namo sa social media. πŸ˜… Ang importante sweet ug responsable sa personal. Ang relasyon di man jud perpekto, naa jud nay mga probs , it depends jud unsaon pag handle na di mabuwag. Kung unsa ang imu partner sauna before ka naghimasok sa lofe dapat dili usbon. Ganern. Hihihi pero naay nausob sa ahu pares kay gibawalan jud nahu siya ug subrag duwa ug DOTA kay makasakit na sa lawas.

Maajo kay naka our ka atu na relasyon memsh. Unsaon na lang jud ug kamoy nagdayon. Himuon ja kang punching nag kung di ka musunod sa iya gusto.

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2 years ago

Hahaha basin og gpusil nako run memsh kay pulis na rabaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Kasalimuang man kaha memsh asa mutago hahaha

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2 years ago

Gyud memshπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ grabe gyud pud to nga experience uie πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Nag cheat d i ang babae ato sis? Wala ko kabalo sa full story. Ang akong nabasahan nagparescue siya kay gibugbog siya...

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2 years ago

Kuno sis, follower man kong xian gaza, marites manang dako tig suwalat sa mga secret sa artistaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Mao jud memsh. God is good jud memsh kay wa ka niya pasagdi na magkamo atu niya x☺️ Kay buutan man sad si sir pare. ☺️

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2 years ago

Maogud sis, God knows who is better for us gyud kay gkan sa controlling ex ghatagan kog way libogπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Human nako ug basa sa imo story sis, ako mahinumduman ang karon na controversy sa duha ka artista na in relationship dayon gipasakitan ug ayo ang babae physically

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2 years ago

Ayy kadtong nag cheat ang girl sis, nahibaw.an sa laki mao na abugbug a berna πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Na Mao, di naman ko kaayo updated sa ilang kinabuhi. Sauna kay nag follow ko sa mga update sa mga artista pero karon wala na.

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2 years ago

Ka kuyaw gud niya mam no,naa man juy ing ana nga tao nga sobra nga seloso unya e control naka ,good thing kay nakagawas ka atong klaseng relationship.

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2 years ago

Lage sis, pero pila sab ko ka months sige siya balik2 para makig uli lage, obsession naman tong iyaha gud

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2 years ago