@Valryan14 14 September 2020 more from that month

The woman i met.

I used to be a home boy-House and school daily routine. Then I met this girl who I thought was the one. I almost gave her my all. My time, attention. I couldn't make time for my friends then. Yes it's true that when you're too in love, she's all you wanted to see, you crave for her presence every single time. After she showed you heaven, she brought you in hell. That's when everything has changed. You argue more often than you cuddle. You keep chasing her even after she pushed you away. Yes call me stupid but I love her. I hate to see myself hurting everytime she laughs at my 6-pages text. And when she said she's not coming back, it's like somebody poked the dominoes you took effort to built and they all broke down. It fucking hurts. You cry every night, wished she'll change her mind and you'll see her waiting at your door begging for you to accept her again. But heck no, she's happier now than she has ever with you. She never thought of you anymore, no not even once. And there you are, stalking, hurting, crying. Seeing her pictures with boys and she looked painfully happy. Then you start to ruin your life. They say a bottle of beer might make you forget her easily, but you drink 5 bottles already and she's still the girl you wanna drink with. Tried flirting some other girl, but shit shes all you see in someone else's face. You tried so hard to forget her but you just can't. Then you prayed, prayed that you'll stop from ruining yourself because she had already ruined every piece of your being. And you realized that she's not worth it, she never fucking was. She was never worth of the love you gave and the tears you shed for her. You regretted dating girls you don't like and hanging out with the wrong people. You wished they never happened and that you're still the old you your friends used to know. So you went back to your old self, but a cannot-be-swept-away-by-romantic-fantasies kind of boy now. Then you became better as ever. Stronger and happier. 😄