@Trinity 26 December 2020

The most embarrassing day of my life

I want to tell you a story. This story makes me want to cry anytime l remember it. But l will still tell you Some years ago, l was to attend a wedding.Three weeks to the event,l took the material for the clothes to my tailor to sew but l was told he had traveled.I came back the next week but he wasn't back. Five days to the event,mummy suggested l went to another tailor who she claimed knew 'work'.I was hesitant at first but l had no option.The wedding was three days away and l had to appear on the colour of the day. I eventually went his shop and took my measurements.I also showed him the design l wanted.I was about giving more explanation on my choice of style when Baba flared up."Do you know when l started sewing clothes? l started sewing twenty something years before you were born." I had to calm the young man down. Na explain l explain l no kill person. After negotiating the price,he asked me to come for the clothes on Friday,a day to the wedding. On Friday,l was a bit busy so l didn't get home on time.Imediately l got home,l dropped my bag and rushed to Oga Emma's shop.He was about closing for the day when l came. He asked me to see reasons with him that the buttons he ordered just came in that night and he couldn't fix them in time. I was boiling inside me.But l decided to cut him some slacks,after all,l chose an uncommon design. As early as 6am l rushed to Oga Emma's shop to get my peng attire but the shop was locked up. 'Maybe he is on his way' l thought. I was totally wrong . 7am,no Oga Emma 8am,no show 9am,negative report. I tried calling his number,But it was switched off. Chai This obviously is a set-up. 10am,Oga Emma never still show. A few minutes to 11am,Oga Emma rushed in and wanted to explain why he was late but l had no time for that.I was late,hungry and annoyed. I didn't even care to try it on. I rushed home to see over 30missed calls.I was not surprised.Everyone will be worried. I tore the wrap which contained the clothes and was surprised at what l saw;the trousers was five times bigger than me while the shirt was way too small. The last time l checked,l didn't pay for a blanket and a pillowcase I looked at the clock,12:49pm I ran out to the junction to see what l could do to save the day.The tailor l met started laughing when he saw the clothes.He asked me'are you sure these are not your Father's clothes?' When he saw l was in no mood for jokes,he proceeded to adjust the clothes.It was not an easy task.Baba was just hissing and complaining throughout.After five attempts,the clothes finally looked manageable. Or l thought it was,until l saw myself in the mirror in the lobby of hotel presidential;the venue of the reception. I was looking like spongebob.I couldn't go back l don come be say l don come. I tried sneaking in but one of my distant cousins noticed me and called out to me.This drew the attention of a lot of people whom l didn't want to see.She even made it worse by complimenting my dressing;She said l looked like a senator. Ahh aunty Fear God nah Senator no dey wear blanket and pillowcase ni. My whole day was ruined. I couldn't even catch cruise.I couldn't even eat rice.I couldn't even drink anything. I just don't want to talk about the meat I just sat at one corner until nightfall. After that day,l never wore those clothes again,the pain associated with them exceeds all description.