@Trifecta 24 March 2022 more from that month

I tore my hair off and then thought I had a tumor So guys, recently I had a little situation where my hair was falling off in clumps. I'd been growing my hair for the past couple years, and I've been pretty proud of my growth until recently I started losing huge clumps of hair. In the past weeks it got so bad, my hair was thinning and the edges were practically non-existent.  In about a month, I went from a full head of healthy hair to just shedding huge clumps all over. I was mortified. Creating Monsters

In my culture, as women, we are taught that our hair is our crowning glory, and so when we lose our hair, if that loss isn't by choice, you could feel pretty shorn, as I did. I tried to keep up appearances, of course, but inside I was panicking because I did not know what was the reason behind the hair loss. It didn't help that around the very same time as I was losing my hair, I started to get terrible, blinding headaches.  Like to make it through the day, I had to go to my room, turn the lights off, get blackout curtains. I couldn't tolerate even the sound of a slipper on the floor.  So my hair was falling off and I was having these headaches, I thought the two were connected, and as melodramatic as I am, I went down the rabbit hole. Pell mell.  I thought I had a malignant tumor or something.  And it didn't help the fact that I was hospitalized, had X-rays, scans, all of that because I was in so much pain. Nothing was detected, of course, but I credited that to an inefficient healthcare system. **I literally created monsters from my own shadows and then shunned sleep for fear that they would torment me**. A Simple Solution A couple weeks ago though, I had a break through.  I came out of the shower one day and couldn't find the comb I usually used and I was forced to find and use another one. The second comb I used had blunter teeth, and listen, guys, my hair thanked me for it. Since then, I've tried using this other comb and treating my hair during the day- making sure it's moisturised- and get this, there has been a significant improvement. My hair isn't completely healthy, not by a long shot, because there's been a lot of damage, but there is a stark difference.  As for the headaches, well I later discovered the cause: my wisdom tooth needed extraction and the nerves on that side of my body were triggered. Was the situation urgent? Yes. Was it still scary? To me it was, yes. But there were no tumors.  Life Lessons This experience got me thinking though. Isn't life like that sometimes? There **I was using a sharp comb, tearing out my own follicles and then wondering why my follicles were torn. A**nd rather than looking to and at myself and my own actions first for a solution, I projected outwards to things that I believed to be beyond my circle of control. **How many times do we manifest our own fears and then project it on to someone else or something else?** And yeah, you may be thinking, hey, it was just a comb, it's not that deep. Well, maybe. Or maybe it *is* that deep. Recently, I think I saw a post floating around on the web or it might have been something that I heard, I can't remember, but it was basically a statement that said: *happiness is an inside job*. It is though, isn't it? Happiness, peace, health, it all begins within. Think of it like this. There's this Chinese proverb I've heard, *A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step*, and I've modified this a little bit to myself because the way I see it, any journey begins with a thought which then manifests as the first step, right? First within and then outwards. The thing is though, it's easier to think that external factors determine our lives, our wellbeing, our health. And the reason it's easier for us to project out is because we don't *want* to take ownership. We don't want to accept that we have more control over our lives than we are willing to believe, because to do so, **to accept that we steer our own destiny for the most part would mean that we would have to take on the responsibility of making better choices and charting better paths for ourselves**, really taking control of our lives rather than waiting for an individual or an institution or even society to steer us, right? We don't want that responsibility. Because **hand in hand with responsibility comes accountability**, doesn't it? And who wants that? Who wants to get up one morning, to look around, truly look around, and to realize that life isn't as cushy as we would like it to be and to have to accept accountability for at least a portion of that and then to take on the responsibility of doing something about it? Right? Well, food for thought anyway. Anyways, I'm still battling my headaches a bit, but now that I know why I have them, the situation is being remedied. And overall, as I continue on my journey through life, I'm resolving to try to spend a little more time looking within as I encounter my own situations before projecting out. Have a great day, everyone.