My january birthday My birthday is soon. Im not always happy when he is on the way. I was afraid of years passing very fast. I am afraid of not having enough time to spend with my kids. I lost someone couple years ago, it was my dad first and after him it was my mom. I think that it is not fair to lose them both at the same time. I got kids those days, it was very painfull for me to make balance between sorow I felt, and enormus happines. I'm not affraid to die, but I'm sad because i know that they will feel like I did. This feeling is always there, in every holiday, birthday... all events in my life. And question is: Who is celebrating my birthday now, when they are gone? I know now that birthdays of my children are celebration days for me. Mine is not that important now, just keep them going.