Undeserving

Today's writing supposed to be my every Sundays food for the soul article but I've been missing two or three weeks now. I choose to stop writing because of feeling of being "Undeserving".

Flexin' my sponsors. Blessed to have such good soul with me in this journey. I am forever grateful. ❤️

I've been struggling from a bad habbit that made me feel that way. I don't want to keep on writing about reflection and all while I am busy being sinful. My conscience would not allow me.

I am grateful to myself of being honest and being true. To my own and to God. To write a reflection for me that I always share with you really comes from the deep of me, soul and heart. I don't want to be a hypocrite one of telling others to do the right thing while I am doing the opposite myself. Therefore for now I will stop writing reflection from the gospel for the unworthiness and the undeserved feeling overpowered me.

But, it's not the end of it yet. No worries. I will promise to myself I will not allow myself to be drown by this feeling and soon I will rise and continue my path. Continue sharing the word of God to you. Continue reminding you and inspiring you to be good and to be godly.

But, before that allow me to clean myself, heart and soul. Allow me to be pure again. Allow me reclaim my lost soul. I believe God will be with me in this journey. Please pray for me. Everyday for me is a choice of healing and self forgiveness. I need to.

This is necessary. To fully healed from brokeness due to whatever feelings and reasons, self-forgiveness is the key. Forgive your self front the lapses you have made. Learn to understand your own self that you are human being too. Prone to sinfulness but please learn to stop bad habits that made you undeserving and unworthy. Never allow yourself to commit the same mistake over and over again. And hurt yourself over and over again as well. To have lapses is normal but to repeat the same mistake isn't.

Christmas is coming and my heart is heavy. By forgiving myself I know I would lighten up the load soon. This maybe would be my gift to myself this Christmas. The best gift ever.

As what I learned earlier from the priest. We should learn to prepare ourselves for Christmas. Preparing doesn't only mean Christmas tree and Christmas lights. It also means preparing our soul. As I ponder, I believe I need to prepare myself for his coming. Thus, I make the move now as a preparation.

That would be all for today everyone. I would be coming for my food for the soul every Sunday, I promise. I just needed sometime for myself in order to share with you the word of God with pure heart and soul. Soon the undeserving Grace would feel deserving again.

Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you all. Keep safe. God speed.