@TheMage 13 September 2022

stray early morning thoughts... I miss alot of things that will never be again for me. but for all my dooming and general fear and sadness I wouldnt change it...I have walked a path many couldnt and survived thus far... and more over I have met my seth cat whom needed and needs me as much as I him. If I live past the 2020s I may yet find some peace but I dont think... well it matters not really the here and now see me doing what I can to protect my parents and cat from the nightmare that is rural Canada in the 2020s the decade of doom. I cant fix my own issues ive had 13 years and tried everything so I guess its service to those that matter till I can no longer serve. this was not meant to be doomy but lol iam doomy almost 2am been many years since ive had normal nights/mornings. still wonder if that will ever change. doubtful but at least i have seth... his breathing issues and health worry me but in this house nobody is well health wise...common misconception is healthcare here being easy to access thats if you wealthy of have connections or ties to gov aid programs which only work for a select few. I have not had a dr in 7 years and have had need for most that...well before that stopped going to dentists and eye drs to costly only covered if ya make so much a year...its not for the poor. damn ranting..I should not drink and noise. take care folks. keep those you care for close. <3