It is very disheartening any time I heard about a failed marriage. Most of these marriage usually enjoy a glamorous wedding ceremony, but eventually becomes something that brings out tears. Some marriage are not experiencing the joy and happiness that dwells in marriage, instead they always see hatred, condemnation and sorrowful heart. In this article we will look into various factors that lead to a successful marriage and unsuccessful marriage.

What is marriage?

marriage is a union between a man and woman to become husband and wife. In other word, marriage is the joining together of two people (opposite sex) to become one. The book of Genesis 2:24 in the Holy Bible attest to this. "To become one" means the objectives, aims and goals of the couple must be the same. They now have common dreams and visions. To achieve all their goals they must be able to share ideas with and trust each other.

Benefits / Reasons for Marriage

There is nothing that happens without a reason, everything that exists has its own reasons and values. At the cause of making a marriage work out, one has to understand the importance of marriage. Upon discovering the importance of marriage, then you will be able to tell if you are ready for marriage or not. Below are the importance of marriage.

• To avoid loneliness :- An idle hands they said is devil's workshop, also a lonely heart is devil's palace. There are times when we need a companion who we can share our mind with, and who can offer us comfort when our hearts troubles. Friends may not be able to be there for us always, but your partner will be there, Genesis 2:18 testify to this.

• To give helpmate :- Two heads they said are better than one. Helping one another is another reason God established marriage. He wants the husband and his wife to help each other in time of need. Though, the husband may be the head, he must not consider his wife to be a slave but helpmate. Check Genesis 2:18

• To curb Sin:- Fornication and adultery are sins that can kill spiritually and wreck someone financially. To avoid fornication let every man have his own wife. So every couple must satisfy each other sexually in order to avoid sin.

• Procreation :- God blessed Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden that they should be fruitful and multiply. Child bearing is one of the major reasons of marriage. In some part of the world, a marriage without the fruit of womb is considered as a failed marriage. Most Africans cherish children in marriage than anything else. If your marriage is yet to receive the fruit of the womb, I pray God release your own today, in Jesus name.

• Lastly, it was established by God :- many people do not know this but barge in to a marriage. Marrying is also a means of fulfilling God's purpose for man. So anytime you are thinking about marriage you must understand that you are going into God's institution where you must do everything with care and fear of God. When you have fear of God in you, it will be very easy for you to make your marriage a successful one.

Stages in a marriage

As a marriage is expected to be a lifelong commitment from the couple, they are expected to pass through different phases in marriage and come across different challenges and experience. This challenges will determine how well the couple prepared for their marriage. These stages are:

• Romance stage : This is the early stage in marriage, it occurs prior to the marriage and last a few years after the marriage. This stage is characterized with romantic activities, as the love between the couple is very strong now they may not be faced with many challenges because they are ready to face any problem with unity. At this stage, they are yet to face the reality of being responsible for anything that happens in their home either good or bad. They are still enjoying their honeymoon lives.

• Distraction stage : This is a very serious stage. At this stage lot of things will begin to manifest, ranging from pregnancy, to combining your work schedule with domestic responsibilities, children raising, payment of different bills and others. At this stage change in appearance may set in and the romantic life may come to an abrupt end, paying of children school fees and other bills will surely surface this time. Apart from financial problems children raising may be fun but still need a lot of attention and care, as you are trying to solve one problem another will set in which may leads to frustration. At this stage just be expecting more problems than you can imagine. To escape this stage you have to sit with your partner and reason together on how to make things work out for both of you. If you are yet to marry, plan your future now with your partner.

• Resolution stage : This is the last stage of a marriage. It is just like the result of other stages as this stage determine the outcome of the marriage. At this stage the couple will like to discuss on what to do about their marriage and they will be left with two options (1) Divorce as the solution (2) Adjustments and contentment as the solution.

Why Divorce?

Divorce means the legal dissolution of a marriage. In other word divorce is the separation between two people (husband and wife) who has vowed to remain together till death do them part. Divorce has been a prominent killer of many destiny through its negative effects on both parties, most especially on the children. Children suffer most of the consequences of divorce. So many children's lives have been destroyed by the mistake of their parents leaving them with no hope but hatred for either of the parents or both of them.

However, divorce are caused by the following.

• Lack of understanding : This is one of the major problems in marriage, before you can live happily with your partner, you have to understand him or her very well. Your understanding about your partner will let you know his/her dos and don'ts, which will enhance better relationship. Try to understand your partner and let him/her do the same about you.

• Inability to Adapt : Some people understand their partner pretty well but can't just lay aside their own ego. In order to have a successful marriage be ready to sacrifice a lot of things, be ready to change your attitudes towards some things, and try to blend with your partner's behaviour. If you can't let go of your ego you are not ready for a happy home.

• Lack of communications: Communication is not just to talk and chat, but it is passing of meaningful information from one person to another. A marriage with a defunct communication is bound to fail.

• Financial problems : Intact, financial problems has been a powerful enemy challenging many marriages today. To overcome your financial problems what you can do is that you need to be truthful to your partner, so that both of you can decide on how to make a budget with the total income of the family. Once both of you settled on a budget plan I believe a glorious day is ahead.

• Sexual inabilities : This is the strongest enemy of marriage, some may not want to say it but believe me it has destroyed so many home. If you are too busy to satisfy your partner in bed, your partner may be forced into cheating. Some people value sex than food, so find out about your partner's stand on sexual activities

• Avoid third parties in your house: There are so many devil in form of human out there that can destroy your home then snatch it from you. They may appear as if they are your friends but they are not, so be careful of those around you.

• Lastly always get God involve in your marriage. In time happiness and sorrow always commit your marriage and family into His hand.

I hope this will help you to build your home into what you will be proud of, thanks for reading.