This was six years ago on your Nineteenth Birthday when you suddenly vanished from a club in Katoomba, a town in the Blue Mountains in January 2015. Every year I still go to that club looking for you maybe you still come there to join your network of friends and your local relatives. Where have you gone, Suzi? Why you told no one, not even your relatives. Why did you take this step, or there is something else behind this?
I have been so worried ever since you left and more so in the last few months. I have been going to your house at regular intervals expecting to hear something about you! Do you know your I talk to each of your family members hanging onto the hope that someone knows something and will tell me something about you?
Do you remember that about a fortnight before you disappeared, we drove for over an hour from Sydney to Penrith, to visit your friend Amanda Warne? Then we meet in that club on that warm night of January in our favorite Katoomba club. That was when I last saw you and then your mysterious disappearance.
I talked to Amanda about you and her answer was a bit puzzling to me when she said her friend turning up unexpectedly with an ugly-looking man she least expected to see Suzi with and to add to her worry, both you and that man looked very distressed. Amanda said you were in quite a state saying that you were fearful for your life. I am still trying to understand what could be the reason behind you and this man?
Did you really feell someone was trying to kill you or was that a mental state that made you think that way? The question, questions, and more questions, but no answer to anyone, not so far at least. I remember Amanda said when she suggested to you to get police you looked at the man beside you and said you felt police would not be any help in this case or couldn’t offer her protection.
Amanda mentioned you had a plan in your mind. I remember she said with your connections you could get a fake passport and fake identification so you could start your life afresh. I don’t want to believe this, but did you really have a connection with people that brought illegal drugs? I don’t want to believe this, but Amanda believed that you had left Australia to live in a different country and coming here frequently with contraband.
“I still believe that one of these days you would call me and say ‘here I am my love’, I am still waiting for that phone call, I am sure it will come, I can wait for this call for the rest of my life. Do you remember that house we were planning to buy and spending the rest of our lives in each other's arms? I love that house and the view around that place.
I cannot understand what was eating you so much so that you had to disappear so suddenly? I wish Amanda had told me about a frantic visit to her place that day when you visited her the last time, so I probably could be of any help to you. But why didn’t you mention anything to me when we met on your Birthday. You were looking worried, but I never thought that it was so serious.
I have been meeting several relatives in Sydney, Melbourne, and Katoomba and some of your friends and relatives now telling that in the months before you disappeared you had told a couple of them you felt too scared and also as if someone was trying to hurt you. But why you never told me anything about your suffering or pain?
I can’t believe anyone would ever want to kill you, my love, I never even expected a thing like that or a foul play. How I wish you could call me and tell me about your whereabouts, but probably you’re too scared to speak. I don’t want to believe what one of your close relatives told me you were probably no more in this world as she talked about your death in 2019 in Malaysia.
I go to talk to your family members now and then and even contacted the local police and your social circle in all the places including Penrith, Parramatta, and Katoomba, but all gave me the same response that they had heard nothing about you. Even the police have no clue about your whereabouts, although they are still looking for you and in contact with their counterparts in Malaysia and Indonesia.
However, one thing I am sure that you’re still alive and living a life of your choice or no choice but where it’s a mystery for me. However, I will keep looking for you and meeting people with knowledge or involvement in your disappearance. I don’t want to believe you’re no more in this world. I know some people know about you, but they were too scared or unwilling to let the secret out. But I believe that some of these people know more about what happened to you.
And I am sure Amanda and her boyfriend either know about the entire story or associated deeply with this mystery. I have believed that Amanda and her boyfriend and deeply involved or even acquaintance because someone close to you had seen you leaving the Katoomba club in the Blue Mountains when you asked me that evening to come back in a few minutes on your Birthday in January 2015
Why do I feel that money has a role to play in your disappearance, as you had inherited $700,000 from a distant relative? We had plans to start a business for you in or around Katoomba and settle in our dream house that I wanted to buy for the two of us.
I know Amanda had asked you for some money for her boyfriend’s business or be a partner with him in a business by spending a part of that inherited money! I later came to know that Amanda’s boyfriend was involved in a drug racket and was under the scanner of the local police. Why do I believe that Amanda’s boyfriend is the reason behind your disappearance? Again a lot of questions but no answers!
Amanda said she always suggested that you invest wisely. Does that mean that she suggested you invest in her boyfriend’s business and not in real estate that we two were planning and rent the property to tourists through Airbnb? Why Amanda sounds looks so suspicious to me when I talk to her about you? I know Amanda was your closest friend, so she should know the reality.
Oh yes, I believe when she says that you were really sweet and always willing to do things to help everyone, but why did she use the word “were”. Was she sure that you’re no more in this world? Also, it raised a storm of suspicion in my mind when she said you had mental health issues, so things weren’t easy for you. But I knew you for almost two years, and I felt no mental problem in you.
I always found you a cheerful type but maybe a little ambitious, but then who is not ambitious in your age. When you hit your teens, you become what I describe as a little wilder and have less control over your ambitions but some control and achieve them while some others find them in their fantasies only.
I loved your passion for music, your dress sense, and your views about life and started hanging with you after I met you in Penrith club at the walking path of The Great River Walk and became an instant fan. I loved your smile, the fragrance you used, and the dress you wore. I instantly asked you for a cup of coffee and my joy knew no bounds when you accepted it.
I don’t want to believe Amanda when she says you got involved with the “wrong crowd” or you were going out to late-night parties or taking drugs. I don’t see a lot of stability in what Amanda has to say about you. What she says about you doesn’t seem to come out of a best friend, anyway.
And no one else said what she said about you: you ran away from home twice when you were sixteen and seventeen. She said you were not a perfect daughter, but you stayed in women’s refuges, and even lived with her too. Was she trying to prove you a bad girl and divert my attention?
I don’t care if she said that by the time you were sixteen; you got pregnant. I don’t care even if that was true, but I still believe that this was all about your money that Amanda and her boyfriend were after what you were because of inheritance when you turned 17. I wonder what you suffered during these two years and you never shared a word with me during all the duration of our friendship.
“I was just wondering if we could go ahead with our plans and lived our life. I don’t want to believe people saying that you got yourself involved in the drug community, and you had become like a drug peddler or used drugs. I don’t want to believe what people say about you that many people of your community would visit you anytime, day or night I can’t even imagine what people tell that sometimes people would spend time with you for a few days.
I don’t want to believe people that said that you had lost control of your body and mind. After all, I was with you for two years and found nothing similar in you. I don’t want to believe what people said about you they noticed the change after you moved from Penrith to Katoomba.
I don’t want to believe that you were in as much trouble as they all believe you're in You never ever mentioned them in the days before you disappeared to me that some people borrowed money and did not want to return. You never mentioned that to me ever you were suffering from any problem. So I am not going to accept all this rubbish.
Suzie my love, I just want to know the truth and I believe I know the truth in the end, no one would ever want to forget her beloved but just want to know the truth I just want to know what’s happened to you or where are you right now, what are doing or when will you call me and say - “Hi Suny, I’m here, come and pick me up, I have no car”.
You know Suzie at the end of the day, what’s the hardest thing? It’s not knowing if you are alive and living a happy life, I am happy for you but if you are not, come to me, I am still yours and willing to spend the rest of my life with you. Not knowing about you is almost killing me. It’s the worst thing I have ever faced in my life.