@Stoshkety 22 February 2025 more from that month

I Finally Broke Up

Breakups are painful. This one is worse. I know the pain of break ups, being there, felt that three times already. I wonder why my chest didn't burst in those three moments. It beats me why my tear ducts didn't stop producing tears. Perhaps the universe was conspiring against me. I didn't cry this time, but I imprinted bloody marks on the inside of my cheek. I have flooded inboxes with messages, asking others if there was anything I had done wrong. I’m petty like that. How long should one wait to get a response that confirms that moving on is the best thing to do? What is the best way to balance being egoless and also maintaining one's self-respect? Three weeks, three days. One day? But if what we shared was once perfect, should waiting be part of the game? isn't waiting a game for those who weren't genuine? Our friends preached patience. You know people go through phases; they appealed. It made sense; she had just gone through a milestone. Seventy-seven was such a number. I agreed. I waited for two weeks. I wore my nerves out anticipating, flipping from text to mail, scanning for light at a tunnel which had an elusive end. Each morning my chest inflated with hope- a rising sun meant possibilities. But as the sun fell, so did my hope. I thought about our journey and winced when I remembered our plans. The twentieth of every month was our anniversary. I was faithful with the vigilance of a sniper. I never missed it. With diligence, I played my part. Our relationship had many unspoken rules, but I followed all of them. Today, acting on a whim just the way she did, I sent a message. All I needed was one word. Leave. You won't believe it. She told me thank you for participating.