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The world doesn't seem to have any mercy for me. Living a life as an orphan is hard enough, yet they chose to take away the only family I have left in this world.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction from the author's imagination. Any resemblance to the real world including locations, names, characters, and events is purely coincidental and unintended.
Uncle Barry is one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. He never hesitates to share with others, even when he is lacking himself. It doesn't matter if you need food, money, energy, time, he'll give you anything that he has if you truly need it.
He even adopted me after my parents passed away in a car accident a few years back. I was only six years old back then, and nobody in the family wanted to take care of me, nobody but him. They hated my parents and me because my mother decided to go against their decision to arrange her marriage with a successful businessman, and instead chose to marry my dad, who was just a mechanic.
Uncle Barry never expects anything in return for everything that he gives, saying that he's doing all that just for the sake of doing good. He'll always be there whenever you needed his help. Yet, nobody cared enough to help him when he was bleeding to death in the middle of the street. No, they all just watched and feared for their own lives as they saw him getting mugged in the broad daylight.
I was in the middle of the class, just spacing out as usual, when a senior suddenly knock on the classroom door and told the teacher that I was called to the principal's office. I was puzzled the whole way through thinking I if did something wrong to get called. I may be inattentive and unresponsive some of the time, but I never bothered anyone else in the school.
Before I even knocked on the door, the principal opened the door. She looks and acts a bit strangely. From her usual tense and scary demeanor to a soft and melancholic person. She lets me sit down on the chair and then looked down before telling me the whole incident that has befallen my uncle, at least from what the police told her.
Her words shattered my whole world.
Is this real? How could this happen? What kind of sick-minded person would take another man's life just for money? Is this all that human lives account for?
How could the people just watch there when he's bleeding to death? Why would there be not a single person who cares enough to call the cops or an ambulance until it's too late?
I was trembling in fear without realizing it. I lost the one and only family member I have left. Now I'm all alone in this dark, crazy world without anyone to rely upon or to go back to. My heart was racing all over the place and my mind suddenly went blank.
I asked for permission to leave school early. And the principal, looking at my current state, let me do so and wrote me a permission letter to give to the teacher so I can leave early.
I went back to class, grabbed my bag, gave the teacher my permission letter, and said my goodbyes.
It wasn't a see you soon or a talk to you later.
In my mind, it was a farewell.
Why should I live in a world where nobody cared for me?
Where would I even go to when I have problems that I need to share with someone?
Who should I even be living for?
Myself? No. I never cared about myself. I didn't even wish to be born. So why should I continue living?
Those dark thoughts were gathering in my mind. Slowly, but surely taking away my will to keep struggling in this world as I'm walking home.
And as I was walking with a barely functioning mind, I didn't notice someone following me.
I opened the door to my uncle's house and went straight to my room. I sat there in silence and tried to take it all in. Never had I ever shed a tear since my parents passed away. But at that moment, I just couldn't hold the tears back.
It doesn't matter if I have to work after class, it doesn't matter if I don't have any friends, it doesn't matter if I'm lonely or sad. At least I know that when I go back home, Uncle Barry will always be there to cheer me up.
To add to that, I never had a goal in life. I just live my life on a day-to-day basis and focus on the problem in front of me. And so with the passing of Uncle Barry, I just don't have any motivation to keep moving forward.
With that said, I took the only path I can see ahead, a path of no return. I looked around the house for a rope strong enough to hold my body and end this misery. I threw it around the wooden block below the ceiling, stand up on a chair, and tried to kill myself.
Before suddenly, a loud noise came from the entrance. It was Kelly and Troy, my classmates who break into the house. They were startled by what they see and hurriedly tried to get me down. They succeeded in preventing my stupid attempt at suicide.
Turns out Kelly who sits beside me was worried by my weird way of leaving the class and decided to tell Troy about her concerns. He agreed with her and they told the teacher that they're not feeling well and needed to go to the toilet. After getting the permission, they snuck out of the school gate and silently follow me all the way home.
All this time, I was the foolish one for thinking that I'm all alone in this world. Kelly and Troy have been trying to befriend me all this time, yet I never pay them any attention. Perhaps I was too locked up in my own world and my fear of rejection makes me avoid any kind of relationship with everyone else. I was too scared of being left out and so I prefer to be alone in my own comfort zone.
I cried once again, this time in front of them. I told them the reasons behind my suicide attempt and the burdens that I've been living with my whole life. They just patiently wait there and hear my story out, without even saying a word until I finished. And when I'm done, they gave me one of the warmest hugs that I've ever felt.
They told me that it's okay to cry, to mourn, and to feel like crap for a few days. But I shouldn't just take my life because of that. What about the sacrifices from all the people around me made for me? My parents, who fought through all the rejection from their families and decided to keep moving forward even with all the hurdles in their lives. Uncle Barry, who took care of me when nobody else wanted to. Friends and teachers, who have been trying to pull me out of the darkness despite all my effort to ignore them.
These people never gave up on me. No, it's me who has given up on myself.
That's when I realize how wrong have I been living my life all this time. Uncle Barry never wanted me to live in grief forever because of his passing. He'll be even sadder if he found out that I killed myself because of it. My parents wouldn't have any proof of their love and their struggle to keep me despite all the rejections from the family will be for nothing if I was to disappear just like that. People who have been trying to befriend me and change my life for the better would be devastated by the news. All my effort to keep living all these hard years would cease to exist if I chose to give up now.
I thanked Kelly and Troy for pulling me out from the deep hole that I have been stuck in all this time without realizing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad because of what happened to Uncle Barry. But I won't beat myself up for too long. No, I realize that I need to move on and continue his legacy in this world.
I'll learn to live a meaningful life and make my life a blessing to everyone around me, just like Uncle Barry. I'll work harder, I'll be a better person, and I'll live my life not just for myself, but for everyone who believed in me.
And so, I'll gratefully accept this second chance in life, one that the Heavens above have granted to me.
Lead image credits to Marc-Olivier Jordoin on unsplash.com
It's been another tough week. Assignments, reports, and chores have been coming nonstop. I'm honestly a bit tired and wanted to take a break from everything, but I guess that's impossible now. I'm glad that I still survived and managed to finish this article.
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