Break the silence!

I’m writing this with a broken heart. My question is, why is domestic violence so rampant these days? What can we do to stop it?...

I came home for holiday two days ago, while in the shop with mom, a lady who happens to be our neighbor came in to get detergent and I realized her eyes were swollen. I waited patiently till she left and asked my mom what happened to her face. To my amazement, mom said she had a fight with her husband four days ago. I was shocked! It’s only a monster who would beat his wife to that extent. I’m sure there are bruises on her body as she’s a light-skinned woman but she was putting on a covered cloth and I couldn’t see through her.
On that fateful day, the woman was fast asleep as she had a long day at work. She’s a banker and a mother of two children, the last one is still an infant. While asleep, her husband came in really late and woke her up to prepare dinner without not instructing her to before he left in the morning, she said she was too weak to cook, the next thing the husband did was to refer her back home by saying “Is that how your mother treats your father?” The lady then referred him back home too and he suddenly gave her a slap and beat her up. I immediately asked mom the next thing she did and mom said she didn’t do anything. The next morning I heard he apologized back and she took him back because of the kids. She then mentioned to mom that it wasn’t his first, second and third time beating her. Tears rolled down my eyes, I felt pity for the poor woman.
My question is, why is she enduring the sufferings?, most parents are scared to be alone, most parents stayed in the marriage that isn’t bringing happiness in the name of “I have children.”

Yesterday, I was having a phone conversation with my friend and I discovered she was sad. I asked her what happened but she felt reluctant at first, after so much pressure she said “My parents had a fight” I felt sad immediately, I remembered I was told about one a day before by my mom.
She said her mom was having a phone conversation with an old school male friend and her father was eavesdropping, he then came over to meet her after the phone call and called her a fool , she said her mom has not been happy in the marriage and her dad was also seeing other women and anytime she talks to men over the phone he gets really hurt by it. He went over to her and called her a fool and also spat on her, the woman spat back and the man beat her up. She said she was the only one at home that witnessed it and she was weak to do anything, instead she kept shouting at her Dad to leave her alone. I was speechless because I didn’t know the best advice to give her at the moment but I could only ask when it started?, she said since she was a baby. I praised her for been so strong and told her to be calm. I can’t imagine my friend’s mom has been beaten for good eighteen years and she still stayed in the marriage where there’s no happiness.
Most Parents witness domestic violence but no one is ready to talk because they are all scared to leave. Some are even threatened by their spouse, so they keep it a secret. Most parents live in hatred, most are enduring the sufferings because of the kids. No marriage is sweet as you see them out there, every family is going through one thing or the other.
Nigerian parents often tell their kids that once you are in a marriage, there’s no turning back. The moment you go home to tell your parents what you are facing in your marriage they will tell you to go back and apologize to him. Women do not have a voice. They need to voice out. Do not endure what you can’t live with. Your happiness matters.

We need to raise awareness for the women going through domestic violence. No man has any right to raise his hands on a woman!. These women needs the courage to walk away. It eventually leads to mental torture. Get away from anything that is unhealthy as violence!.
Go to your friends and anyone who can help you and talk to them especially if you have children, it’s not the best environment for your children. No children should see that.
If there is any woman who feel that they can’t get over a relationship or walk away, if it’s not safe you have to. And, if you’re arguing and your guy or your man does hate you and raises his hand on you, you have to walk away because if it happens once it going to keep happening over and over again.

My message to women: If a relationship does not work, walk away. Ask for help. If you don’t have the internet, walk outside your health and scream until you seek help. Do not shut up on domestic violence! Talk to families, friends, colleagues. Standing still when there’s physical violence will only get you killed. The most important thing is to love yourself more than anything else.