Coward

May 10, 2022

0140-0200H

Hello read.cash, who's awake? Haha Since I can't fall asleep at this time because I have stomach cramps since the afternoon yet I still want to be productive. I decided to just type on with this random topic in my mind as I try the freewriting prompt while having hot compress in my belly. I will be setting the topic as the title already since I am half awake and half dizzy sleepy zombie already. I can't have deep sleep as I want my sleep to be every time.

I wonder If will I be able to finish even a paragraph with 20mins? Haha, I used to write in a relaxed manner. If I have urgent tasks and chore, I will drop the phone and if I have spare time, I will write.

Anyway, good luck to me. Time starts.

"Coward"

By: shyryl

How long have we been apart?

Every day, do you know how I longed for you?

I can't think sanely without you

All I do is missing you

Now we're acting like we've moved on.

It's unbearable to see you cry

I can't take seeing you this broken

but I need to push you away.

I have your heart but I need to give it back to him,

before it hurts you the most

I cannot protect you while being near you.

Too far that I can't reach you

Too coward to say what's true

He's with you now and someone's with me too.

But I can't stop staring

I can't stop the pain.

It's killing me now someone's holding you.

I should be him dancing with you

I should be the one touching you

Loving you, you are for me and I am just for you.

That's how it should be but how can it be?

I wanna get drunk, shout and lose control

But If I lose focus, it'll be dangerous.

You seem better without me

Things are getting harder

It looks like you're a dream now

Will I be able to reach you again?

I wanna give you the best but power favors the rich. . .

Twenty minutes have passed so quickly omg. I don't know what to write, to be honest, it's just my second time and the pressure is crazy. My writing tonight is like the branches of a huge tree with my mind going everywhere. I don't know if it's fine with you that it turned out to be that sad story.

Have you experience letting go of the person you still love? Maybe to protect them from danger, maybe to make them happy you sacrifice your own happiness just to see them genuinely smile?

As for me, that's my most hate part of the story when both are still obviously deeply inlove but the Universe seemed to make million of ways to separate them.

I know the above piece is not even close to having rhyme words in the end. I was trying to make it like poetry style but thinking of the time made me stop the editing, just maximize the time of writing and see now as it is. I hope I will improve soon. Thank you read.cash for being with me, you're the outlet of thoughts and a channel of learnings.

Also, maybe I will be able to publish this later today because my phone is already hanging and so as the signal. Huhu When will telcom be gracious enough to help us with better experience of internet? Maybe since they are not cooperating, maybe they are signaling me to sleep.

(Photo is mine, it's kuya's valentines gift to gf)