We visited my mother today. It was late in the morning when we went to the cemetery. It took us 15-20 minutes to go there. It was near but we need to to ride 1 tricycle and 1 jeepney to go there.
The weather was hot and we came late because our schedule was supposed to be 7 or 8 in the morning. I was waiting for my sisters text message but I haven't received any so I just slept and thought that we will not go today. I came from a night shift so I just slept after my work. Suddenly, my sister woke me up at 9 in the morning. It was the moment I have a very deep sleep so it was hard for me to woke up.
My sister, her daughter and I went to cemetery. My father already went to he cemetery yesterday. When we arrived, there were very few people. The place was wide and full of trees that even it's hot, you can still feel the air.
We cannot recall the exact place where my mother was. It was last April when we buried her together with the remains of my cousin and sister. So we tried looking for her gtavestone and my niece found it.
When I saw my mothers gravestone, I was about to cry. I just controlled myself because I am embarassed to cry again in front of my sister and niece. It is still painful to me knowing my mother is no longer here.
Before, during all Saints day, my mother and I are together when going to cemetery to visit my sister who passed away. It was just painful to know that I am now visiting her and my sister. That she is now together with my sister. It was almost 6 months when she was gone but her memories were still clear.
I remembered my last dream with her. When I was dreaming, my dream was very clear but when I woke up. I cannot remember anything aside from I am with my mother. But I cried because all I can recall was I hugged her tight and I just cried because I cannot feel the warmth of her hug. Then I just cried because I rralized that she was really gone.
We brought 5 small candles only and we bought flowers outside the cemetery. We sat in the grass in heat of the sun with just umbrellas as our cover. But it was not that hot because of the wind. We were covering the candles with umbrellas because it was blown away by the wind. We have a hard time lighting the candle everytime it dies so we spent more time there because of the candle waiting for it to melt. I thought that maybe my mother wants us to stay longer with her.
But I know my mother is in a safe place now aside from knowing that she is in heaven. But given her a nice grave is a feeling of safety. It is easy to visit her now because it is not crowded unlike the previous cemetery that we visited.
Before, it was a public cemetery that we visited that is why every year that we go there, a lot of gravestones were added. We sometimes stepped on others. Aside from that, it was too crowded in that cemetery. It is not also safe to go there because of COVID-19.
Now, it might be sad but moving to a new private cemetery is a better place. It is not.crowded and children are safe because the land is flat and with grass onIy. I am proud to say that she is resting in a very peaceful place.
Not to mention, it is now paid in full aside from the previous cemetery, that we need to pay every 5 years. Even it is cheap, it is not a safe place.
I knew that my mothe is now happy living in heaven wih my sister and her mother and brother. They have more time together. No pain and no worries.
I am expecting my relatives to visit my mother this week. My younger brother and one of my niece visited her last October when it was my brothers birthday.
Happy reading everyone!!
