Someone's Always Saying Goodbye

"Someone's always saying goodbye

I believe it hurts when we cry,

Though we know partings never so easy,

And I know the achings inside

I believe some hurts do survive

Trying hard to pretend that were gonna be fine"

That was a famous line from the song "Someone's Always Saying Goodbye". You can feel the pain from the lines itself.

In our lives, someone will come and someone will go. That's what the future holds. We all have our limitations in life. God gave us the life. It is only borrowed from Him and he will decide when to get it back. Any material things that we have right now are just temporary. We cannot carry it in our death. What's important is to share our blessing with others while we're alive. Help the needy.

Our family is still in grief. Aside from my mothers death and turned positive in Covid swab test, our family is in a 14-day quarantine starting April 28. I could not imagine what happened to us. We also need to monitor our health at home and waiting for a swab test which I don't know when since there we are waiting for schedule from the local government.

I remember the night we got home from the hospital on my mothers death, it feels the house was so dark and quiet. Only the four of us we're at home. My father, my brother, myself and my son. My son is not that aware what happened. All I can feel was the hurt and sadness. I can't control my tears as I saw my younger brother crying. He is the youngest and a mama's boy. My father does not talk too much but I know how hard it is for him. All of us can't sleep that midnight aside from my son. We slept for 2-3 hours only and we also woke up early. My head is aching maybe because of lack of sleep and too much tears.

The next morning was another chapter for us. My eldest sister and her son and daughter and my eldest brother and his wife and son and daughter came to have breakfast and at the same time stay with us for quarantine. We ate breakfast together, lunch and also dinner. We forgot the sorrow for awhile since we're altogether. But of course, my mother will never be forgotten. This will be our routine for 14 days. But at night, they all sleep in their houses but my brothers children stay with us.

Most of the friends and relatives sent their condolences through SMS or video call. I appreciate everything they said. "Be strong, be tough, you will get over those". I know they we're all concerned and it's really easy to say those words but when you are the one suffering, it is really hard. Moving on to a tough situation is hard. But, my family is very thankful to all the people especially our relatives and neighbors who sent groceries, fruits, vegetables, foods, and vitamins. Some sent cash online.

I don't know what will happen to us but I always pray that God forgives my mother from all her sins, that she is now in heaven and at peace, that she is no longer in pain and she is now together with my sister. I also pray that she is now happy and should not worry about us. That she will be our guardian angel.

There is a purpose why God took my mother this early. Maybe her purpose is done. My mother and I may have fights but she knows how I love her. She knows me more than anyone else. We haven't given her a wealthy life yet, the life she deserves but we will still pursue following our dreams even she's not here with us.

Sometimes I asked God why do they have to take the good ones first? Why does she need to take my mother this fast? We are expecting for her faster recovery but what happened to her was different. She was gone too fast.

Our family was a simple one. We enjoyed the life that we have. We might not have a lot of money but we eat 3-4 times a day, we have a home, we are happy and suddenly, someone has to suffer and leave. I don't how long before we can survive. I know everyone in the family misses my mom. We haven't talked about her seriously. I know that tears will fall again if she will be the topic.

I will miss my supermom. She was with me eversince. I was small. She is the one I talk to when I have problems. She believes in me. I know she forgives me from all my sins. She knows it. We are very close to each other. Honestly, it will be hard to start again but I know God is there. He is the one I can rely on, he is the one I can talk to, he is the one I can cry on.

I also prayed to God to tell my mom not to worry on us. That my mom will not scare us. I admit I'm afraid of ghosts. I don't watch horror or scary movies. My mother knows that. But kidding aside,we all pray for my mothers happiness in heaven. That she will save us from Covid. I also hope and pray that all the vaccines in the world are all effective. That everyone will get vaccinated.

Next week will be mothers day. Its sad but we will still celebrate it simply with the family. She always prepares spaghetti for the family with or without occasions.

But we need to move on. Moving on means to continue with our daily lives but we will not forget all the good deeds and memories with our mother. She is the only one. No one will replace her but we can be like her. I know my father misses her too. He may not talked about it but I can feel it.

God is good all the time. If someone says goodbye, I know someone will come. Every single day is a blessing. Something to thank for. We should be thankful for everyday blessings that comes to us. Like my cousin, she will have a new baby. Additional blessing in their family. God will provide. We all have sins but he always forgives. I actually don't know how to start again without her, but I belive in HIM. I believe in Jesus Christ.

We may be down for now but I know tomorrow we will all be happy again. I don't know when but it will happen in God's perfect timing.

To my mother, I love you. I miss you. Don't worry about us. I know we will move on slowly but surely with God' s help. I'm sorry. I really really missed you. We will never forget you. You will remain in our hearts forever. May you rest in peace "Nanay Rose". God is with you now.