Who will be your first son: let's talk
Good morning readers. Hope we all are doing fine. It's a beautiful Wednesday morning and today is sit at home for those of us in the east. I planned to do nothing other than being active here today and watching movies too.
I bought a bowl of ice cream last night and stored it in my fridge so today while I'm watching the movie I'll just scoop it little by little while enjoying my movie.
I'm not done with this new zombie movie called All of us are dead. This is because I've been so busy lately. Tomorrow is my Passing Out Parade (POP) from the NYSC and there's been a lot of activities going on for those who will be passing out soon. I’m excited about this. At least, I can move forward onto the next stage/phase of life.
So this morning I was going through some WhatsApp statuses and I saw this question and I decided to use it as my topic for today's article. In Nigeria, we all know how important and valuable firstborns are especially the male child. In the Igbo culture, one cannot deny the fact that first sons are usually the pride of the family.
I’ve heard stories about couples getting married and after years of marriage, no issue. This has caused issues between mothers-in-law and wives. If you’re lucky to get married into a family that understands that it is not in your hands to give yourself children, you’ll always enjoy a peaceful relationship with your mother-in-law.
Most times in Nollywood movies, there’s always a fight between wives and mother-in-law whenever there’s no childbirth yet after years of marriage. The wives receive insults upon insult from their mother-in-law, taking away peace and happiness from such a happy home. Most times in those movies, if the couple is not strong enough, the mother-in-law tends to break such a happy home therefore bringing chaos and making them lose hope and faith in their marriage.
Sometimes a man would be forced by his mum to take a second wife from the village or get someone pregnant. Such ideas can get into his head that he begins to think about it one day and finally act on it without his wife being aware. This does not only happen in Nollywood movies alone, it also happens in the real world. I have a friend who hasn’t had any child yet after being married but she’s among the lucky ones who got married into a good home. Her mother inlaw encourages her not to despair. She gives her advice and hopes that someday children will come and of course, they will.
I believe that while one is praying for children, couples should make sure that they do all the necessary checkups to be sure everything is ok and not only fighting the battle spiritually but also medical-wise. While hoping and praying and believing in God, just make sure you’re sound medical-wise.
I’ve also heard cases where couples agree to adopt a child and after they do, they begin to bear their children. It’s as if the adopted child opened the doors of blessing for them to have their kids. I’m not against adoption at all. Some might say they don’t like it because they want to carry their children in their womb and it’s not easy to take care of another man’s children. Me, I don’t see it that way, there’s nothing there about taking care of a child whether it’s yours or not. The question is, what if that's how God wants it for you. I mean, what if He wants you to adopt and take that child in so He could give you yours. Just what if? What if this is a solution to a childbearing issue and delaying this, delays that blessing of having children you've always wanted. What if?🤷♀️
To me, if I adopt a boy and later I bear my own son, that child I adopted is surely my first son. The moment I agreed and did the whole process, that child becomes my first even if I didn't carry him in my womb. I would even cherish him like my own child because I would see him as a blessing. After all, it was after I adopted him that I bore mine.
There would be no distinction at all, I would love them all equally. Sometimes, after couples have adopted and they now start bearing their kids, they begin to mistreat the adopted one which is not good. And such maltreatment comes from the wife most times. The hatred they feel for that child passes onto their children too. Their children begin to discriminate against the adopted child which is not good. That is why it is good to end up with a good woman.
To me, the children shouldn't even be aware if couples adopt. They should be told after they've all grown and gotten mature enough to understand certain things. By then they must have created a strong bond amongst themselves.
Thank you for reading till the end God bless you
What is your answer to this?
I would love to hear yours
