Gloomy as the weather.

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Avatar for Sequoia
2 years ago
Date: April 10, 2022
Author: Sequoia

As the rain pours on our roof, my tears are racing to fall on my cheeks as well. No matter how much I tried to hold it and keep everything inside of me, it was already my heart that can't take it anymore.

I wanted to scream and curse everyone I see because of this uncontainable emotion. So tempted to cut my life to end the anguish that I am suffering ever since the day I became aware of what the real world really is and how it works.

Been rejected and taken for granted.

Been used and abused.

Been tortured multiple times.

Betrayed by my own so-called pals.

No matter how much I tried, I can't still figure out what have I done in my past life to deserve all these unpleasant things I am encountering right now.

If this is the universe's way of preparing me for greater things, then I guess I am already prepared for it.

I've endured and suffered a lot.

Lost so much blood, sweat, and tears.

I even lost myself along the way.

Maybe these are my consequences or karma from being such a hard-headed kid back then. LOL

Or maybe I am just overreacting and emotional.

Mood swings? Hormones?

Or should I blame the gloomy weather for having a gloomy heart?

I don't really know where to start or stop. Not even sure if I am already running or just lost in my own abstract world.

The only thing I am sure of is that I needed help. Not from my co-human being but from my Creator.

There are issues that no one can resolve but only Him. I have to run and plug into my source of life once again.

I've been away for too long already and my energy is already on its last bit.

I gotta go home to my Father's house and take back the things that this world has stolen from me.

_________________________________________________

Author's Viewpoint

I will turn 22 tomorrow but I guess I am gonna celebrate it with a sad heart. Sorry for this negativity fam. Just needed to express what I truly feel inside and unbottle the emotions before they totally explode and affect others as well. I shouldn't be sharing something like this here but I don't know where I can share it aside from this platform. This is where I find my comfort the best. This is where I feel at home.

Thanks for reading . Stay safe and always make sure to enjoy every bit of your life. Ciao!

P.S: Please leave some encouraging lines. I badly need it right now. Will appreciate it so much if ever.

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2 years ago

Comments

You'll get through it sis. Kapitvlang. Ganunctalaga ang buhay eh. Isipin mo na lang talaga matinding challenge sayo to. If you quit, talo ka.

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2 years ago

yes sis. Walang susuko. kaya natin itoooo

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2 years ago

Hello bebe gurl! Sending hugs!!!!! You are too young para mastress ng bongga. Enjoy life, stay positive and pretty masasayang ang ganda mo. Smile na. Happy birthday to you 🎉🎂

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2 years ago

yes ateeee. haaaays dapat di magpaka stress masyado

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2 years ago

We all have our downtimes. Different phases and different ways to handle it. No need to apologize for sharing it here. One thing I do when my world is upsidedown is I scream to my pillows so no one can hear it. I take a walk. Take a shower. Sleep or hug my cat or another person.

There is a huge factor that you are turning 22 in a few hours. Maybe you are anxious about it or you are in a state of not really feeling it. You can only figure it out. Happiest birthday in a few hours, Sequoia. I hope you have a blast. 💖

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2 years ago

I think I should try those methods too. Thank you

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2 years ago

That's sad.. But I hope you'll be fine.. You should be grateful for tomorrow..it's your big day.. Be happy instead

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2 years ago

Yes ateee Janeeeeeee

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2 years ago

Ilabas moyan lahat bata, ilabas mo sa pag iyak para mabawasan ang bigat. Sana ay di mo patagalin yang feelings na yan jan sa puso mo 🥺

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2 years ago

opo ate Ruffa. Medyu okay2 na is me today

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2 years ago

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. The world can be quite harsh sometimes,but we can not give up.. Get better soon

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2 years ago

thank you

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2 years ago

Since the rain began yesterday, my mood has been messed up and I can't understand why.. I guess the heat got to me so much that the sudden change caused me to have mood swing and sudden depression.

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2 years ago

I hope we both feel better soon

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2 years ago

Hugs sis. Daanan lang natin yan, continue to walk at the other side of the road. Life is not always a one way street. Releasing your emotions in anyway can help. 🤗🤗🤗🤗

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2 years ago

yes sis. Thank youuu

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2 years ago

Sending my virtual hugsss sis. Laban lang. God is with you. ❤

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2 years ago

Amen sis!

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2 years ago

It's okay not to be okay but always remember that you need to see the good in every situation. Cast all your burdens to God and He will give you rest.

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2 years ago

Yes sis. I entrust everything to Him

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2 years ago

I can feel your gloomy emotions sis. Don't let the pain you are feeling right takes over yourself. Stay strong for whatever bad you're feeling right now, God will be there to comfort you. He is just one call away.

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2 years ago

Yes sis I will.

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2 years ago

God listens to His sons or daughters who are really in need like you. He will comfort your bad emotions. Trust only in Him. Believe his power and ways on how to resolve your problems.

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2 years ago

Yes sis! I calim that

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2 years ago

Dunno what to say, but you've made the best decision gping back to your creator. He will surely heal you. Sendinf virtual hugs and love. ❤❤

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2 years ago

Yees! I trust Him.

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2 years ago

Sending you my warms hugs Sequoia! No matter how hard life is just hold on to HIM! things will be better soon.

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2 years ago

I will hold unto His promises

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2 years ago

Its okay Langga. It's part in our life. Minsan di talaga tayo okay pero we fight it. Basta fighting lang Langga. Kaya natin to. Ganyan talaga ang buhay. Be positive lang always Langga. Andito lang kami para sayo.

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2 years ago

We fight ate Ganda because we know that we have God who can numerous things

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2 years ago

Yes Langga God is always there for us. 😇 God is always there to guide and help us Langga. 🙏

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2 years ago

I can relate.. I also planned to end my life now, because I felt like all the burdens in the world ay na sa akin na.. while it's raining so hard, I also silently cried inside our room..

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2 years ago

Let's keep holding on sisss. Let's don't give up

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2 years ago