“Just stop over thinking” I never really paid so much attention to this sentence; I’ve always thought the normal pattern of thinking is over thinking and analyzing the situation from every single aspect and ask all the questions that pop in your head and have legit answers to these questions. Well, turns out this is not how things work “normally” according to my brain problems buddy. Dr/K said: you over think because you can’t trust, you can’t trust yourself or the people around you, if I told you that your mother is a serial killer you’d believe me not because you trust me, it’s just because you don’t trust your mother and you think ANYTHING is possible so you don’t actually have solid beliefs that make your head rest. Ayrin, not everything is going to happen; super heroes aren’t real and they can’t under any circumstances they become real. I want to believe her, I went to her to believe her, my mom isn’t a serial killer and everything is so basic and real. I’m not paranoid; I just believe that anything can happen specially the most ridiculous things. She got that right. I do trust the people in my life and I never really got betrayed; i actually might be trusting them too hard that I’d throw away the rules of physics if they told me they are breakable. Could it be that I want things to be different and more fun with no rules? But I know I would get overwhelmed if there were no rules to control the mess. Could it be this very reason? That I’m sick of my overwhelming habits and I just want the world around me to be chaos? Ayrin, there are no rules controlling you except your own; you’re putting bricks of imaginary rules around yourself. You grow up in a small village, in a small family, you weren’t aware of the world outside so you learnt to be so respectful to the extent that it’s suffocating you and frankly not very convenient for others. You think they know more than you, that you must be missing out on some things, that you’re the only one in the world that don’t know of random common knowledge stuff. You’re afraid to order a meal, not because of social anxiety, but because you think that people ordering have some kind of common ordering language that they didn’t tell you about and you would stand there looking like a fool. None of what you think is true; even a regular Starbucks customer would stumble over the option the barista is asking. Dr/K said.