You Cover my Insecurities, then and now
I'm seeing a lot of people here in our place not wearing their facemask. Seems like people are being complacent now about out situation. Well, I don't really care about that because even if it is not required anymore, I will still wear it because I am used to it already. I can't go out without my facemask now because this facemask can make me hide myself to anyone. Because to be honest when I am not wearing it, aside from I feel uncomfortable not wearing it, I also like I am too expose to everyone. Like I feel like I am naked to the eye of the people.
I don't know anything about you but, facemask can make me feel better and I am not too anxious that people might say something about my face that is true but still painful. I don't want to hear such word so hiding my face with facemask is all I can do right now. My insecurities and lot of thought is bombarding my head when I am not wearing my facemask so yeah. They can say anyone with me like I am a spoilsport for still wearing it or O.A but their word doesn't effect me. As long as I can hidey face then they can just kiss my ass while making faces.
This facemask has been with me for the the last 2 years. I had it when my sister is still with us. She bought it for me. We are still free with covid that time. The real reason why I asked her to buy this for me is because it's been just a month since I had Endoscopic sinus surgery. I want to be careful that is why. We are using charcoal in cooking and breathing it is not a good for my newly operated nose. At first I hate using it because I can't breath. But I had to use it so no choice. Then something happened that make me go back to our province. Off course I brought that facemask with me.
Then Pandemic started. I never used any facemask but this. I have some spared facemask but I still ended up using this. Would you believe that this facemask has a big print on it before. But because of katagalan, eventually nataggal din sya. NBA is what written there and a picture of some basketball player that I had no idea about the name. At first I can't really breath while using this. I an so annoyed pa because of pandemic questioning whomever why I have to suffer with this facemask. Walking from the market while holding a groceries while I have cover in my face is really not good.
But on the long run, I get used it. I saw the importance of it in my life and how it can make me feel more like me if I have this covered in my face while walking in front of lot of people. I feel more confident because they can't see my big face which is one of my insecurities. They can't see the big dark circles in my eyes thanks to this facemask. I am not afraid to show myself with a lot of people as long as I have this facemask. And just to let you all know how severe this introvert side of mine, I can take my growling stomach because of hunger but you can't force me to eat in the public, lol.
It's either I will take out the food or I won't just eat and suffer of hunger as long as no one see my big face, haha. Or we can eat in a dark place where it ks really dark and no can see my face. If you think I am always just a jolly person - I tell you - I AM SO NOT. I am in the virtual world but never expect that in reality. I hate talking. I don't want to be with a lot of people. I am okay with just myself. I hate gatherings and most of all I hate someone who will disturb me. But let's go back to my facemask, lol.
So, if some are ready to let go of their face mask - me? I don't want to. I am not ready and so I will use it until I want to
ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
My face ís covered with my facemask so I hope you didn't vomit looking at it.
( ◜‿◝ )♡
©️Lead Image from Unsplash
September 12, 2022
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I actually hate the voluntary facemask bill because it's gonna make everything worse and I think I'm too used to masks too since it's been a thing I've worn since I started college (chemistry thingzz) keep using facemasks and just stay safe ;;w;;