Part of Me that I am trying to Get Rid Of

If some people are having a problem of letting go of their memories of their ex's or those hands of their labidabs mismo who already found their replacement. Or maybe having a hard time letting go of thier crushes after being rejected. Me on the other hand is still trying my best to let go of all these sh!tters that keep on stopping me to grow. I know it's really my fault why this is happening but truly, letting go is not really that easy if you're already used to and you just get used to it because you allow it. Me, in particular allowed it. Coz why not. I think that's the easiest thing to do.

If I can I want to let go of these things so that I can be a better version of myself. I just hope that time will cum where I can finally let go of all of these so that I can move forward and I can finally do the things that I want to do in my life. I am still not sure if I can really do it but there is no harm in trying right?

So what are there things that I want to let go to have a better life? Of course you have no idea about ir coz I'm still not spilling the tea. But here it is, I'm just about to do it.

Fears.

Fears of what can happen if I tried to go out on my comfort zone. I can't just let this fear fo even if I want to. I can't just set it aside just by saying "shooo" how I wish I can do that. How I wish fears is just like those insects that when you shoo them away they will fly fast. But this fear is like a soft poop that can't be wash away just by shooing it or just by washing it. You will really need a hard brush for it to be cleaned. I know fears is really in our system now specially if we want to try new things. Even when you are having a hard time pooping you will fear it coz you might get indigestion and you will fear about medication. But, if some will still take the risk and set aside their fears why can't I right? Why it's not easy for me to let go of this?

My Toxic Trait

You maybe think that I am a kindhearted person but you are so wrong with that. Maybe that's just how I want y'all want to see me? Maybe I am hiding to this kind of facade to show to all of you just to fit in or what? You just don't know but maybe I was just hiding into my Angelic, Diabolik ah let's just go with "this fvckin face" lol. But kidding aside, I am far from being kind. I am actually the other half of Mr. Devil or whatever the term you want to use for "Devil." I think bad about those people that I thought is "not good." I easily judge everyone. I love to bad mouth someone on my head and that I think is a bad and toxic traits that I should remove. But I can't easily let it go of those because this is me. Should I tell it to let go?

My Shyness

This is want I really want to eradicate in my whole being. I want to get rid of it and not just let go. Because of you let it go there is still a chance that it might come back. So getting rid of it is the key. I will just use Franky's Radical Beam to get rid of me and the shyness in me will be gone including my body for good then shyness no more. Yep, if possible I should just be reincarnated because this shyness in me is already severe na malalang malala pa sa pagmamahal mo sa taong di ka kayang mahalin pabalik! It can't be remove. I'm not sure if I can ever remove this in my system. I am so mayabang in virtual world but expect that I am not like that in personal. I will try my best to get rid of this I just hope I will be able to do so.

No Self Confidence

And you know what cause my shyness? It is because I have no confidence and that made me scared. I'm scared of criticism. I will just feel offended if ever someone pointed out to me my imperfections and all. And I hate that. I'd rather you not say to me at all. I know my own flaws and my own imperfection. No need to point it out to me. But yeah, I still need to work for my self confidence. But it is not easy. It's not easy when you yourself find your own imperfections as already a malignant one. It is already severe that there's little chance for it to improve. I mean 0.0001% is very impossible percent, My low self esteem is already that malala. But I'm still hoping that I can let it all go for good even if thr chance is low.

I wrote this for who knows when because I am not sure because I forgot to put a date on it. But I am sure thar it's been a months already, lol. I have a lot of draft article that SOME of them can't be seen in the first page, lol. I have to reload it for a lot of times before it shows. And while looking at my article this accidentally shows and I just open it to check and there it is. Because of this I don't have tk think anymore or what of write today, lol.

I am having a hard time thinking of a topic and this drafted one is a life saver. Before I can draft 1 to 2 article per day but they are about to be gone now because I am busy in two platforms aigooo. I might become less active sa kabila to focus more here. And I can't think of s topic to share on the other platform so might as well rest my mind and focus more here.

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Thanks for Reading!!

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August 30, 2022

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