My Man didn't show up yesterday and I thought something bad happened to him that's why I decided to visit him on his home. We've been together for 10 years now ans engage to be married and we have each others key on our apartment, just incase something came up. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. That's why I have all my trust in him.
I just put the key on the keyhole and open it. I just put my bad on the table and walk directly on his room. I'm too worried that's why I have this urgency in my action and jusy open his room. But I was stunned to what I saw. I can't find the word to express this but this is just "The Fuck!" I'm not the type of a person who cus or say bad words, but the word just came out because of what I saw.
I feel a big lump on my chest and I just can't move. I feel suffocated, my heart is in pain and I jusy want to disappear right on this moment. But as I have manners, even if I really want to slam the door, I didn't do it and just stop myself from doing it and walk away without making any sound. "They" are sleeping peacefully and it's a bad manner if I slam the door.
I got out on his apartment without them noticing me. Maybe they had a blast last night that's why they are sleeping soundly. I'm not okay, I'm not on my right mind. I didn't even had the chance to tell him my surprise. But what a big game of destiny. I was played and I got the biggest surprise today. I didn't notice that I'm crying, I just notice it when I felt the tears in my ches, I'm crying too hard.
I cried a river that day and just stay on my room all day. I didn't even go to word and ignore all if the call from my phone. It's hurt, I love him too much and I can't still believe that he can actually do it to me. I'm dying inside but I had to calm myself if I don't want to suffer my little peanut. I have to calm myself and just forget all of what happened yesterday, I don't want my peanut to suffer.
I thought of some things today and that's where I come up with this decision. When we meet the other day to have our regular date, I let him feel my coldness toward him. I didn't talk much but I think he didn't notice it. I saw how happy he is and I know the reason of it. It's because of her. I want to slap his face because I feel like he's just playing with my feelings. I feel like he doesn't care anymore and it's hurt like hell.
I look at the ring on my finger and again, it's hurt. I feel like my heart was cut into half and the half if it was still in him. I'm not complete with him but, my feeling is more important. I don't want to suffer anymore and that's why I snap and just told him those words "Let's break up!" It's hurt me too saying this but what can I do? Should I leave what he did and just move on? But I can't, I just can't I still have love left for myself and that's why I will do it..
He just look at me like I'm some kind of weird species and study my face. He just laugh at me and said "What's wrong babe? Pms?" Like he is pertaining to something. I really want to slap his face that time and want to splash this juice on my right into his face but I held myself because I don't want to make a scene. So I just told him that I'm not in love with him, and that I feel inlove to someone else.
His face look puzzled when he look at me and seriousness was written on my face. I didn't elaborate that much and I just keep my mouth shut on the duration of our eating, you can't hear anything but only the sounds that the utensils was making. I suddenly feel tired because if it. I jusy want to end all if it and part ways without saying anything. I didn't think much that time but I just remove the ring on my finger and put it in the table.
He just look at me still dumbfounded. But I didn't hear anything from him and I just continue walking away. This is Goodbye now My Love. You become the big part of my Life for 10 years. And this is also hard to me so, Goodbye!
I didn't hear anything from him after that encounter. It's like I'm not important to him. It's freaking 1o years for fvcksake! He choose his bestfriend over me and that's really hurt. And now it's been 3 years after that day. My Peanut is almost 2 year old now and he's the cutest baby ever. He get his Dad nose, lips, from hair to his eyes. Or should I say, he got all of his looks from his Daddy, it's just unfair.
While after we talked that time. I resign from my work and move into a far away place. A place that no one can think I can live of. It's a very peaceful place. No pollution and a very good environment for my baby. And I am working now from home as a Web Developer and a Programmer. I like it this way because it's more convenient for us. I'm happy but I can't still help myself from thinking about them.
I'm sure they are happily married now. They should be so that my pag alis won't be in vain. I was busy with my baby when suddenly I heard someone knocking on my door. Seems like it is from the post office, maybe I have a new work and they just send it via mail. But what the man handed me was a small envelope with a name written in, it is for me.
"If you are reading this, I'm sure I'm not in this world anymore. Maybe I'm in hell now and suffering because if what I did to you and to Grey. First of all, let me say this to you, I'M SORRY! I know what I did back then and what I experience for the the last 3 years is not enough to compensate the sins I have done to you. Once again, I'm sorry. Grey only look at me as his bestfriend, while what I feel for him is love. He's the best guy I've ever known and I just can't give up on him that time. I choose to be selfish and do what I did. I heard you, I heard you when you open the door of his house. I'm actually outside that time but we didn't sleep in the same bed. I sleep to the other one while he sleep in his own bed.
I just know that it's you that why I hurriedly went to his room and pretended that were sleeping together. He didn't sleep that much that time because he has to attend to me because I was drunk. I get drunk with the thought that my Bestfriend which is the love of my life is getting married. I just can't accept it. I'm dying and it's unacceptable if I didn't get to experience even a short time with Grey. I have a Cancer and it's in stage 4, and noe knows it. I'm keeping it to everyone even to my family because I don't want them to suffer. I'm sorry for this selfish decision of mine. Because of this a lot of time was wasted for you and Grey. But I'm sorry too because I didn't regret it. I'm just inlove and I just can't die without doing something.
I will not ask for forgiveness because I know it's impossible I did a grave sin. I wrote this to clean Grey's name and maybe you can finally talk to him? And continue the love that I broke for. Selfish reason. Please, he loves you so much and he didn't forget you in the last 3 years. Only you, it's only you. I'm Sorry.."
-Sofia
I cried so hard when I read her letter but I can't still forgive her. She's right, it's her fault. But I'm to blame too because I didn't even ask Grey some explanation. It's my fault and I don't know if I can ever face him. I don't think I can. I should've never jump inti conclusion. I should've ask him, not that I conclude and just made a decision. Now what!
But I can't still stop myself from going into Sofia's wake. I will just try again, maybe this is the right time to show up. Maybe he can understand me, I hope, I wish. I planned to bring my Peanut with me but I change the plan and just go there alone. My heart is beating so fast and I feel like puking. I'm just full of nervousness but at the same time, excitement.
"This is it, I'm finally here!" I saw a lot of people in the huge house of Sofia. And a lot of cars was park outside. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm having a heart attack because my heart is beating so fast. I just take a deep breath and continue walking. I can hear crying, sobbing and some is just in pain I can see it in their eyes. I can't help myself but to feel guilty because I feel happy?
And then I saw him, even if it's only his back I knew it from afar that it's him. I can feel it, I can still remember that excitement that I felt whenever I will saw him. I don't know what happened but I think someone tell him about me and he look at me. I was walking that time but I stop in the middle. Because I saw it in his eyes, it's written in his face. Those cold eyes, those eyes that only look at me with full of love is now gone.
All that's left is weariness and nothing more. Oh yes, he also looks heart broken. When I finally close to Sofia's coffin I look at him but he's looking at Sofia with sadness, tenderness and love. And then a realizations hit me. It's over, Wala na akong babalikan. Sofia completely got Grey's heart and it hurts!
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He's in my arms already before but I choose to let go and didn't even bother asking him. I should've ask him, I should've confront him and I should've never jump into conclusion. I'm just a stupid woman and now I lost him, completely!
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I can't think of a topic that's why I just write something like this. I don't even know if I did it right but I hope you still get the thought haha. You know i'm not good in Engols so gomen 😂.
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Read this to Start in Club1BCH
May 26, 2021
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I am heartbroken as I read the story. I thought maybe just maybe your planning of part 2 . Gash I can't stop thinking about it. Your such a good writer that you are able to hold my interest and mind. That's what you need to do as a writer, making sure to leave your readers something to wonder and keep them thinking of your story. I enjoyed it. It is my first time visit and I shred tears but it all worth it. Looking forward to read more of your stories.