Love

"I loved you for so many times you failed to notice it. When you were so busy finding all the faults in the way I simply show my love, all I did was to pour all of me in all the gaps of brokenness your past left on you. I wanted to be everything you ever wanted me to be because my little shortcomings felt like losing bits of you, gradually. I was so afraid of making you feel everything that once tried to ruin you, so I did my very best not to drain the love out of you again. I didn't care if I'd lose myself in the process, as long as you, finding me aligned to your likings means staying by my side. The love I had for you changed me into a complete different person. But I couldn't care less. I studied your whole to understand how deeply I should keep you close to me. Because I want to withstand every little thing that makes you you. I was so committed to loving you so hard that I didn't see that the depth of my love was far from your sight.

You see, I have loved you in all the ways I could– just all in the forms you couldn't see. You told me it was not the love you've longed for. That all the things I did to show my love weren't enough for you to see. I didn't realize it at first because that's the only way I know how to love. It haunted me for a lot of tearful nights, making me think of ways to tell you I love you in the most visible way I could.

Until the day it drained everything in me. I was left with nothing to give anymore, even to myself. Until the day I realize that just maybe, sometimes, the only way to make people feel you love them is by letting them go. And I did. It just hurts that only by then, you have realized how all this time, my love was there. But you were always, always looking away. It was only by then that you started to acknowledge everything I did.

But it was by then, I've learned to stop trying for someone who got to lose me just to realize I matter.

Now, it's too late.

You're too late to care.

You're a little too late to love me the way I have loved you.

It's a little too late to say you love me, too."

– Elizah Germino💙