"MARTYR"

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Avatar for Probinsyana
2 years ago

Would you still love a person who hasn't moved on yet? Love is a strange thing that any of us can experience. Happiness? Pain? Gezzz! They are twins. I wish I could remove the pain to enjoy life full of happiness.

In 2018, a year that I never thought my world would instantly change when I met him. I'm a kind of woman who only has two places in life, my home and school. I don't have any work nor experience. Before going to college, I thought I'm strong enough to push through any temptation. My goal is only to graduate no less. Until he knocked into my heart, I was trying to never listen but I lost. He showed me how beautiful the world is, he taught me how to explore things and places in life. But things instantly changed when he started telling me about her "EX", a woman who he gave everything to, who he spoiled with his love, care and attention. Who he trusts the most but leaves him broken. He cried in front of me not because I made something but because he still felt the pain. I was trying to ignore the feeling that was building inside my heart. Questions that I want to ask but choose to keep quiet. "Has he haven't moved on yet? Did he just use me to forget her? Does he love me the way I did?". I felt helpless, thinking what a wrong move I did. I love the person who still loves her ex. My world is turning upside down and no one is there to comfort nor tell me everything will be fine.

I can't stop myself from overthinking, crying all night has been part of my daily routine. I was able to blame life for how unfair it is. I did nothing wrong to deserve such pain. But we tried to work things up, we worked on it day in and day out. It takes so much time, effort and energy that almost drained me. Some say, this is not even a big deal, but NO it is, for me. I was growing when I knew how painful it was to be cheated, I saw those tears coming from her eyes. Since that day, I am frightened to experience that one, those heartbreak that my mom had been through. Yes, I am what they called "martyr", I stayed with him until he forgot her past. I was there to support whatever makes him happy. I was there to tell him I would never leave him nor give him the pain even though I'm the one whose suffering. I became his knight and shining armor, and I do always hold his hand during the catastrophes. I made him fall in love with me though I thought it was impossible. It's been 3 years since that day, yes! you read it right. It's been 3 years since he already understands the importance of acceptance. I can't say that he totally forgot her, because scars are always living in his heart and those painful memories remain. But I am always by his side, giving him the happiness that everyone deserves and vice versa. Blaming life won't actually make us feel better, it only drains our energy.

I learned that love is not all about showing how the flowers bloom during spring but also about showing you how the leaves fall during autumn. Love is not all about showing how beautiful the world is, but also about holding your hand during catastrophes.

Love is not all about happiness, it's also about pain that we need to go through. I am not that strong but I know I can. As long as I know there's a reason to fight and stay, why not? One reason is not enough for me to leave because I saw a million reasons to stay and that's what I did!

Hope you like it my lovelies! Thank you for dropping by……..

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Avatar for Probinsyana
2 years ago

Comments

I don't think I can do that if you haven't move on from your past it would be hard to maintain relationship

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2 years ago

Maybe, but I think staying by his side would be enough for him to at least forgot the past.

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2 years ago

I think it was hard to be in that kind of situation. You are brave enough to handle your emotions and feelings. I really hope he will love you the way you love him.

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2 years ago

I think he already love me❤️

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2 years ago

It is not easy to forget about his/her first love. This is so hard and not easy to forget anyone. Most of time sister second marriage of a men just to forget his first one. Unfortunately, this is become trend. But love is name of caring and time. When someone care for you than he really love you. No Matter he using you or not for forgetting his first love. When someone is started giving time ftom his busy schedule of life. He ask for you everyday about your health and safety. When someone wish you good wishes at morning than you are very important for him/her. Sometimes we started overthinking which lead to distruction.

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2 years ago

I'm trying to control my "overthinking" mood, it only gives me pain.

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2 years ago

Stay positive and think positive you would get over on your all tensions

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2 years ago

Yes you're right friend. Love is not about a colorful rainbows that always give a beautiful view but it's about also a lightning and darkness. It's not all about happiness but there will be a challenges also. It's depend between the two how they surpass those challenges they have.

I agree with you friend, if there will be a reason to fight for. Why not? If we see that's there no problem at all and you know with yourself that you can handle it.

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2 years ago

Yes friend! I will fight whatever it takes.

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2 years ago

Yes friend. As long you're happy with it and you can handle the situation.

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2 years ago

Ayy as in I thought perfect na dili d.i. Fight lang😊

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2 years ago

hehehehehh remember nothing is perfect, I guess it takes time to heal. But luckily it did! Fight lang jud uy abi palang ❤️

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2 years ago

Ana jud fight hangtod kaya ug kana naa pay reason😊

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2 years ago