Why maltreating them?

“When I was with my mother, I sometimes thought of myself of a trophy—something to be flaunted before friends. When out of public view, I sat on the shelf ignored and forgotten.”

Joan Frances Casey

When I was still very young, I was used to Nollywood movies where a couple or single mother would hire a housemaid (either a boy or girl) but in most cases, it's always girls and in the end, they torture and maltreat them as if they have nobody.

Another scenario is promising to take care of a child by taking him or her away from their parents in the village, and getting to the city, those promises already disappeared into thin air and you made them see hell as if they have got no choice.

I feel pity and would always cry so bitterly seeing such maltreatment on them, and that will make me vow and promise myself that no matter who I bring under my roof, it will be my responsibility to care for them like my own children. I just can't see myself instilling bad treatment on another person's child because one thing I always remember is that there is tomorrow and whatever I sow today, I will reap tomorrow.

Irrespective of who anyone is, it should not be a kind of discrimination or practice of impartiality to them. In my tribe, they used to say “it is another child that brings another child to the world”. What does this mean?

Someone who is barren and hasn't conceived any child before would plan to adopt another child, and believes that once she is taking care of the child, God will answer their prayers and open their wombs. But in many cases, when they have gotten the child, they shift the love completely away from the adopted child to their blood. They start to maltreat them. Why? Aren't all children equal?

I remembered when I stayed with my Aunt, I was forced to utter a statement that I ought not to, because it is like I was mocking her, but she had done it to the extreme. “It is because she has no child, she doesn't know how it feels.”

The truth is, I wasn't supposed to say such because if she hears it, it might be a forever sorrow to her because to her, I was mocking her for not having any child.

It got to the extent that no one wants to live with her. I tried taking those insults and ill-treatment from her for over 10 years. I would always wonder if she has any iota of love for us and at the same time say, if it is her child, she will never do such.

She has twice sent me out and packed my bags out of her house. She did same to my brother. He stayed all through the night in the cold weather. I was scared as I kept seeing my brother through the window shivering. Everyone begged my Aunt but she satisfied her desire until the next morning. My brother slept outside. What if something happened to him? Our environment was kind of dangerous because thieves comes every time to rob.

A friend was narrating her own story to me on Sunday, and I wondered how people are so cruel to treat you that way. The surprising thing is that those who do this most are your relatives.

My friend was telling me about a woman who has grown up now but was sharing her story. The woman, when she was young, stayed with her mother's sister who promised to send her to school. The woman didn't attend school until when it was late.

Many times, the woman's aunt would put food together for her and her children, but she would hold the lady's hand until her kids have eaten half of the food, and then she would release her hand to feed on the remaining ones. Most times, she sends her on an errand and before she returned, the kids would have started eating and what is left, she would eat.

According to her, the aunt was teaching and training her for the future but should that be the way?

Yes, I would say my Aunt was training me, but there are different good ways to treat us, than maltreating us as if we are nothing.

I thank God for today and how we are doing fine. Now, she respects us because she has seen that we are living fine on our own without asking or begging for money.

Tomorrow is always pregnant, and we never can tell what it will give birth to. All children have their angels. They never forget anything. It is what you reap on them, you will sow from them.

I will never maltreat any child under my care. If I can't take care of them, I shouldn't bother bringing them over. They will be given the same treatment as my children because one thing is certain. Karma is real, even when we think it is a bitch, it gives you what you did in the past.

Treat all children equally because they have emotions and feelings too. No child ever wanted such circumstances that befell them, but it would be great if you show them what real love is.

Thanks for your time

Images from Darina and Ron from Pexels

[August 30, 2022] (No 241 articles for the year)