Who do you give more care to, yourself or others?
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
Oprah Winfrey
It's a new week and I am so excited to spend the moment worshiping in my family church after a long while. This is our family Church but since we all have been on our own, we attend different churches, though my elder sister and some relatives still attend the same church, different branches at their locations.
So, I believe we all serve the same God and that doesn't mean He wouldn't hear us when we call on Him. God is Omnipresent- meaning He is everywhere, provided you worship Him in truth and with holy heart.
Here is a question from the email I do get daily by @Shadowspub
"Who do you give more care to, yourself or others?"
Many of us, without a doubt, tend to show more care to others than ourselves. We want to please them all because we want external validation from them. Many of us tend to practice eye service, meaning you want people to see what you are doing and would want them to think you are being nice, whereas you are inconveniencing yourself because of that. There is a limit to showing care to others and focusing much on ourselves. Love yourself first before extending to others. Do not pretend to be caring to not remember that you need more attention to yourself.
The moment you have nothing, you will realize you do not have anyone around you. The best moment to know those who are being sincere to you is when you have nothing.
In my tribe, we say it is the hand with palm oil, people will lick but once the hand is dried, they will leave you. It means when a man has money, people will stay with him and once they spend your money to nothing, they leave you alone because they have seen you have nothing to help them with.
I have always cared for other people while I forget about myself and these people would not do anything for you.
One thing I wouldn't want you to do when you decide to care for yourself is that, even if you are caring for others, do not expect in return from them but it's normal to think that they should also care for you the way you have done for them. But some people would want to keep receiving and not think of giving back, perhaps to show an appreciation.
Two days ago, my younger sister sent her birthday lists to me on what she is planning to receive from people for her birthday this month. I chose the one to gift her and she told me one of her friends has promised to gift her a wig that cost #50k ($100)
I was wowed because these are good friends one needs to have. I am not saying having rich friends is good, but having friends who would be happy and willing to help you when you need it.
I remembered while in school, I have always cared for others including those I call my friends but they have never for once given me anything apart from visiting each other's house and entertaining ourselves. I know how many times I have taken them out to eat and I paid.
My sister was angry when I told her I spent a lot on my birthday when I took them out but they never gave me a penny as a gift except for my neighbors who did a surprise birthday for me. She was of the opinion that they were supposed to foot the bill instead. Some friends would be happy to receive from you but aren't ready to show you their good sides except that they want you to keep spending and caring for them forgetting about yourself and if you don't do it, they become sad.
All I am saying is to always put yourself first even if you want to care for others. Treat yourself before treating another person.
I read an article on hive where the user said if you have money, be selfish to other people by spending on yourself first. Be selfish once in a while and stop thinking about others always leaving yourself out of the attention you need.
Life is so small not to think about yourself because when you are down, no one would stand by you, perhaps your family and one or two people who are sincere with you. You should take care of yourself because you worked for it. Do not try to care for others thinking you would be praised. Yes, they will praise, hail and hype you so that you can continue to spend on them but once you have exhausted everything, you will realize you shouldn't have done what you did.
There is a need to scrutinize our circle of friends and know those who would really stand by us when things go wrong.
I have on several occasions tried to lend money from friends who turned me down but I am always ready to give what I have, thereby not focusing on myself and taking care of "me". Thank God I have siblings who I run to since I have learnt my lesson and I never bothered asking from them again because there is no need when you know they won't lend you help.
We need to open our eyes and remember it would be only us at the end and everyone would focus on themselves.
I have heard of a situation where a friend was busy lavishing his money on his friends and these friends were building their houses behind him without letting him know. I wonder how he would feel when he comes to know he has been foolish all along. We need to apply wisdom in doing things and that doesn't mean you shouldn't help when you can afford it, but know when to put a stop and limit your kindness and care to others but to enjoy life with what you have got first.
Thanks for reading
Image by Toa Heftiba
[April 03, 2022] (No 93 article for the year)
loving yourself more than you love others is the first and most critical step to seeking happiness and fulfillment Putting yourself first isn't selfish. It's the first, only and overlooked step toward putting anybody else before your own needs. As human animals, we often don't do things unless we can get something out of them. When your needs are already taken care of, you can give genuinely and without expectation.