It all started on a beautiful night on the 1st of January, 2021 when we all had wished ourselves an happy New year. My families were so happy to witness another year. My siblings were also around and it was an happy moment. At 1am after returning from the Church from the previous Cross-Over Night, My elder sister called I and my two younger sisters and she was like "Thank God for another year and we all are going back to our different destinations and God's willing, we would be here to celebrate another year".
It was really a feeling to me and really felt emotional with those words and within me, I kept praying and committing the new year into God's hand. She suddenly asked the question "In your Relationships, what are the lessons you learnt from it?" I knew she was talking about relationship with guys, if at all we were into one.
My younger sister started with hers, she just broke up with her guy recently and though she was happy because she believes the relationship wasn't going anywhere but lies and deceit were the foundation of it and she was so happy quitting and that didn't make her sad in anyway. According to her, all she said was that a good relationship should be built on trust. She ended and I started with mine. Before then, let me share with you my relationship experience.
I met my first love after I finished my Secondary School in year 2010 and I was only 16 years then. When I met him, I thought he was the one. At least relationship of such ended up being together which I believed it would be like that. We continued the relationship until it was 4 years. Though, I never enjoyed the togetherness but I was so blinded with love that I failed to realize I need to get out of it immediately so I don't end up regretting. At the end, we broke up because of one issue or the other.
After then, I have been into different relationships but doesn't last until I made up my mind not to enter into any again till I finally meet a responsible guy who would love me for who I am.
LESSONS I HAVE LEARNT FROM MY EXPERIENCE
1. BE INDEPENDENT AND DO NOT RELY ON ANY MAN
Some ladies are so funny to depend on their man to take care of them all through and along the line, they are jilted and disappointed. They live all their lives having the mentality of living all responsibilities to a man when they stick to them and do not bother to have something doing so as to fall back on even if the worse happen. In all my relationship, I have never for once depended on any man because of what I have been taught while growing up - never to depend on any guy but work hard to be an asset instead of liability because the end is disastrous.
2. DO NOT BEG FOR LOVE FROM A MAN
This reminds me of how desperately I was begging for love from a guy who still never accepted me back because of a little issue. I cried that day and whenever I looked back to remember it, I just laughed and look at myself. I was only desperate of having someone in my life but I was only bringing myself low to such level. Never beg for love from a guy. They will take it for granted because it's like you are forcing yourself on a guy who doesn't have an interest in you. Something I have always believed is that if a guy isn't meant for you, don't get worried about it but take it like that. One who is meant for you will be for you and then, no need of begging or forcing your love on them. When a guy loves you, he will surely come for you.
3. DO NOT VALUE A MAN WHO DOESN'T VALUE YOU
While with my first love, many times, I sent him money whenever he asked for it, most times, I steal from my parents to give to him. I was valuing him but he wasn't reciprocating such to me. Many men are like that, though it also goes to women but I am only talking about my relationship and what I have learnt. They want to be valued by their women but they do not deserve such treatment just like my first love did. It took me 4 years to realize I was just a fool to care for him but I know it was a good decision I took. Do not value anyone who doesn't know you exist.
These were the words I told my siblings and my Elder Sister also added her own and we all learned from each other. The next day, we all left for our different destinations.
I love reading posts on relationships. In this small life, I have seen a lot and heard a lot and also experienced quite a few too. I always share with people that you should and must watch out for the warning signs. Don't go into a relationship with just your heart but with your head too, because that would help you to know when you are not being valued and when you should endure a bit more.
Never date anyone who sees you as a sexual object. Never date any lady who sees you only as a paycheck...except you are okay with it and you know you don't mind. I know people who don't mind and they are doing fine but if you want more, never trade value for anything because the level of maturity differs. We handle things differently.
Your post is on point.