How to improve ourselves? (II)

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Avatar for Princessbusayo
2 years ago

“I think I’m better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence.”
Cassandra Clare

I started a series yesterday about how to improve ourselves and funny enough, this would continue for some days until I complete it all because I wouldn't want to write a whole journal since it will definitely bore you even if you find it interesting. Lol

I started with keeping your personal information to yourself and only saying the necessary things. You can find the post here; How to improve ourselves?

I don't want to go into summarizing again since you can just click the link to read it if you haven't read it.


So the second segment would be;

Stop trying to please everyone. Give importance to yourself.

We all deserve the best in life and we don't want to be controlled by anyone. We all know that in this life, you can never please everyone because their opinions about you would definitely bring you down and make you think you aren't perfect or good at what you do. People want to know everything about you. They are happy pushing you to the front, to the back and taking a lead in your life and if you are not careful, you become an idiot who can't take charge of his or her life.

How do we give importance to ourselves?

Be honest with yourself, your opinions about yourself and your work in general. Don't make people think you aren't good with what you do. Don't let them see you as a coward but take your work so dearly without anyone's criticism. You need to be honest with yourself and not let people's opinions dictate your life.

Learn to love yourself. If you do not learn to love yourself, no one will love you. There is great importance in seeing yourself as the best and appreciating the person you have become. The way you see or place yourself, people will place you. If you think you aren't good enough, they will see you like that. If you think you have nothing to offer, then be ready for them to see you that way. You must value yourself because you are special and of worth.

Take care of yourself and treat yourself. No matter how little your income is, try to take care of yourself, take yourself out for fun and do not let people take advantage of you. When you take care of yourself and dress nicely, no one will disvalue you. You are very important to yourself and you should treat yourself like an angel.

Believe in yourself. The best achievement in life is to believe in yourself because when you do, no one will take you to be weak.

According to Roy T. Bennett, he said and I quote "Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself".

You can never identify your potential if you place people to give you opinions about you. Going to meet them every time would make you depressed except for those who truly see greatness in you and want you to succeed. You will only limit yourself when you put others to validate you. Stop waiting for them, but believe in yourself that you have enough potential and you should be ready to unleash them and see how fulfilled you are.

Whatever you do, do it with confidence because that is a way to give yourself importance. Some may term your self-importance as ego and they may feel like talking behind you. If you then think you are losing them and because of that, you try bringing yourself to them, trying to please them and make them order your life, that is the end. You will continue to be subjected under their lead and from there, you lose your confidence and ruin your potential. Stay away from those who do not see value in you but want to keep giving wrong and negative opinions, trying to make you lose focus and stop being creative.


Let me end with a story I read online which relates to this article

A man named Tagore had a disciple who was very good at painting. However, he was worried about what people thought about him and his work and their opinions on his work. He went to meet his master to complain, and many times, Tagore would tell him to listen to his heart and never believe what people say about his work. Still, he was worried and this hindered his creativity.

One day, he made a portrait of his master and showed him. His master was pleased and complimented him. He was still not satisfied and told his master he needs people's opinions and thoughts on his work. Tagore assured him that his work was perfect. When he insisted on getting their opinions, Tagore allowed him and thought it was an opportunity to impart a lesson.

He told his disciple to take the portrait and the original, with a set of pencils and a note asking for people's opinion and then take it to the market square and drop it there till evening, then he should bring it back home.

He got home obviously upset and downcast. He said to his master "but you told me it was perfect. See what people did. They brought out many mistakes"

Tagore heaved a sigh and asked him what he wrote on the note. He said "Please compare this portrait with the original and mark wherever you see a mistake"

He told him he would have to take it back again and this time around, he would write on the note "Please compare this portrait with the original and correct any anomalies" by erasing the black spots they painted on the portrait.

He was surprised not to see anything written on it despite being the same sketching as the first experiment.

People are good at criticizing your work but are not ready to correct things for you. They wouldn't want to see your progress. You need to believe in what you do, only by then would you scale through because there wouldn't be any limitations to your success or breakthrough.

I hope you enjoyed my article.

To be continued...

Thanks for reading

Image by Olia on Unsplash, designed on Canva

[May 16, 2022] (No 136 article for the year)

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2 years ago

Comments

This is one of the best lessons in life that I hold dear in my heart because I learned it the hard way. It is very liberating when we don't live to please others.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

There's this cousin of mine who was the first born of the house. Their parents had died so as the first child,he assumed the responsibility of all his siblings. He literally put his life on hold just to make sure he settles every one from the second born down to the fifth child. It was later he told me that he recently discovered that the second born bought a land and he's planning to get married anytime early next year. This first born don't even have a girlfriend yet because he didn't want anything that would distract him from taking care of his siblings ( including the second born) sincee he's not very financially bouyant.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We shouldn't try to please everyone in life, cos not everyone are sane or I should say not everyone are reasonable, instead they keep spotting our mistakes, but then, they can't even correct them. We should rather value ourselves instead of people. Nice lesson here.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We shouldn't waste time pleasing people but divert that time working on ourselves for improvement.

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2 years ago

When we do things to please others, we end up miserable and regretful in the long run

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2 years ago

That is the end of it..regret because we fail to see the best part of us.

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2 years ago

As far as life is concerned, not everyone can be pleased, sometimes words from their mouth against us can make us feel demoted, so, oneself is the number one, and one must give importance to his/herself, making his/her opinion count.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes,, let your opinion matter to you and when you see people trying to bring you down with their opinions, it's better to move away.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I hope you've taken your own advice, because from your articles I have been reading, you have the tendency to put people's happiness before yours.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Smiles. I love to make myself happy too because it's important but sometimes, we should help them but it shouldn't be everytime when you are supposed to work on yourself. No one will kukuma hold me down because of that because it's myself.

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2 years ago

I strongly believe in self confident, because it is the most important thing in life, if at all we most have self improvement we should consider confident in everything we are doing. Thanks for sharing princess.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

You are right. We should build up our self confidence.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thank you for your reply.

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2 years ago

Ourself is most important thing on earth for us. No one can alternate it or can reborn for us. So we must , as you said , be take care of ourself and gives importance. We can't made happy every one but oppositely we will be stressed in this race. So limit ourself in own bucket is best choice.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That is it. It's all great when you give importance to yourself.

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2 years ago

We can never run away from criticism, it's something every individual face almost everyday even when the things they are doing are good. People will always criticize. I have friends that do criticize me, but their critics doesn't cause me any pain, rather it helps in my personal growth. I don't take to heart or listen to criticism that brings me down.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is better not to ignore them but just do what you are doing that brings you happiness as this will keep making you improve too.

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2 years ago

The truth remains, how you see or place yourself is how people will take you. If you see yourself as being incapable or loosed, People will highly take advantage of you.

I used to tell people, it's very good you put yourself first before considering other persons(yeah, even close friends and families), it's not a sin.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

There is no sin there, my brother. Pleasing them will only make you sad and unhappy until you learn to show love to yourself, only by then would they love you too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

People will always criticize no matter what and It's always tempting to fire back at our critics and immediately talk them down but we shouldn't do that. We're better served to take a moment (or more) to calm down before we respond. We don't actually have to respond at all and in some cases we're better served to just put the criticism behind us.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Many people are just trying to frustrate us with their criticism and we must not give in to them but to keep doing what we know is right and what makes us happy. Thank you 😊

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2 years ago

With all the noises we hear from other people, it is very important to listen to our hearts so we can never go wrong.

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2 years ago

Our hearts can never deceive us.

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2 years ago

Not trying to please everyone and learning how to say "No" is a big lesson everyone must learn.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes oo, we need to because it's important for us to grow.

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2 years ago

Someone said and I quote: "I might not be able to tell you all the roads that lead to success but I will tell you the one that certainly leads to failure - trying to please everyone."

When we try so hard to please others over what we don't believe in, we are trying to tell ourselves that we are not important. If you sell yourself short, people will still demand lesser. Know your worth and don't give a discount.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Absolutely true! They will keep demanding lesser and you would think you aren't doing well but the truth is we all have got the potential, we just need to believe in our abilities. Thank you 😊

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2 years ago

That's right, KP...we need to believe and develop ourselves instead.

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2 years ago

You 100 and 1 % right princess you can not please everyone no matter what you do .. the only thing that can please everyone is jollof rice. Hehehe Just kidding ..

But yeah people are insatiable

$ 0.02
2 years ago

😂😂😂 Even Maslow said Human needs are insatiable. So there's nothing we can do to please them.

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2 years ago

Exactly, self-improvement happens when we give importance to our selves alone. The beauty inside must be nurtured.

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2 years ago

Exactly. We shouldn't be afraid to do that but to learn to ignore what people say in a negative way to you.

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2 years ago

I agree for us to love ourselves because from there we will understand how meaningful our life is.

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2 years ago

Exactly. Love yourself first.

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2 years ago

True, no man how good one is, there will be some people that will always look for fault in everything the person does. 😅

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2 years ago

They look for fault but can't correct us. They are only nothing once we learn to ignore them and focus on ourselves.

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2 years ago

The worst part is that most of them can't handle a pen/brush very well.

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2 years ago

Lol...just like the story I narrated. They act as if they know it all but they are empty.

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2 years ago

One point I like so much about what you said here is while we are trying to please others, we should look at ourselves. That is a simple truth that just can't be away from us being humans especially as we can't please others and displease ourselves for sure

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2 years ago

We are only looking less of ourselves if we keep pleasing people without making ourselves happy and believing in what we can do. Thank you for reading.

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2 years ago