Friends With Exes. Yay or Nay?

How did you cope up with your last relationship? Did it end well? Did you end it because of another party? Or did it end because one of you fell out of love?

Whichever the reason is, the main point of this is, will you still be friends with your exes?

Hmm, if I will be asked to answer this question, I'd chose nay. Why? We ended our relationship not in good terms. We had a 5 year long relationship. The first 3 years was good, but it changed when we reached our 3rd anniversary. It was a roller coaster journey after then. I started having my worst insecurities in my body, and insecurity is the worst feeling every women could feel.

I felt that he prioritized his friends over me and that feelings suck, to be honest. Well, I don't compete with his friends, but the thought that our plans always got cancelled because his friends asked him to join them over me, sucks. Chosing them was already a red flag, but I chose to be blinded. Lol.

I spent the remaining of our 2 years proving my worth to him. I spent those years trying to be better because that's what he was trying me to do. He made me changed to be somebody else, which approved his standards in a woman he likes.

I thought that I wasn't enough for him, when in reality, I am more than enough for him, he's just a jerk for telling me to be somebody else that I was not.

He was my first love. It is believed that your first love is your greatest heartache, and I believe it's true. Good thing I passed the stage and finally moved on from him.

He's now part of my past that I don't want to go back.

How did our relationship ended?

It ended last year, January 28. I ended it. There's this saying that, "Every time you forgive him, he will love you a little more, but you will stop loving him, so the day he loves you the most you will not feel anything for him any more", and I felt that. I always forgive him, but the more I forgive, the lesser I love him.

Before realizing my worth, I asked God for a sign. I remember myself being down and confused, because the relationship I was in, caused toxicity in my life already. And it affected my mental health.

I went to 'The Feast' one morning, and saw their big screen flashed, it said, "Let go and Let God". I was moved from the moment I read it and started asking questions to myself. "Why did I had to suffer from all of these, when I could let go all of these to God?". And the remaining days of us together was me trying to forgive him, but at the same time, trying to slowly let go of him.

Closing Thoughts

I think all of us are different. Some people are okay with being friends with their exes, while some people choose not to talk to them anymore.

It is a matter of how you two ended your relationship. Ours was not good. I am happy seeing him okay with his life.

Relationship is not perfect. It doesn't exist anyway, but accepting your partner's imperfections is a definition of "perfect" for me.

Don't pressure your partner to be someone else. Love them for who they are, in that way, your relationship will last long.

It is okay to be friends with your exes, for as long as you know the "limitations", especially if you have your new boyfriend/girlfriend now.

I always think that we built someone for someone else. For some reason, I thank my ex for hurting me, he was a blessing in disguise actually. He made me realized that my worth is way more important than being a slave to someone else that didn't reciprocate the love that I deserved.

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