I Dreamed Once

Blue. Red. Blue. Red. They flash. Then later on the siren followed. I watched the ambulance slowly approach the emergency room. It is once again, a night of crazy cases. Chaotic mess.

Heightened emotions.

Hopeful wails.

Victorious sobs.

Fear. Fear mixed with excitement.

A hell lot of emotions so numbing you thought you'd become less human to be able to tell bad news without dwelling in the pain but then had to switch back to being empathetic. Empathetic and yet unattached. Different face present different scenarios. Hence, a quick shift of moods and aura and facial expression.

Adrenaline.

I cannot imagine I dreamed one time of becoming part of this team. But of course, back then I imagined things to be calmer. You know.

A desk.

A chair.

A seeking person and then me.

Few verbal exchanges. Assessment of pain given a range of 1 to 10. A few more interviews. A scribble on a prescription pad, et voila! Done. Kaching in!

But when you are dreaming, you only see one part of the whole picture. When you started thinking of what you want to become, you only see the beautiful.

But getting to the beauty part, involves hard work and a lot of setting of the mind and re-setting of the mind. Getting molded is a lot of adjustment. Fitting into a mold and shaping your dreams involve more than just knowing. You have to become.

What pulled me back from pursuing that dream was one exam, one realization, one distraction and one application form. I have been priming myself of becoming one, hence, I read books. I read books of my doctor uncle, I have read his rants and raves and review notes which he wrote on the walls of his room. I've read his notes when he leaves it open on his desk while interacting with visitors (us) in the living room.

One Exam

Highschool is one cool experience specially when Science becomes studying specific branches. It was a breeze. Until at one point (cannot really remember if it is another subject but most likely not), a lab exam knocked me to my senses. I missed one part of a microscope. I've memorized it and gone over it over and over with my peers and yet when the paper is in with an illustration of a microscope and its parts I had to identify, I blocked on one part.

One Realization (with a hint of rebellion)

I counted the years I'd be spending in college just to achieve the dream. I counted the years of until when I'd be repeating in my head the parental wisdom of, "under our roof? Follow our rules". Can't take that for a real long time, yeah? We want to be masters of how we go about our daily things.

One Distraction

I am a jack-of-all-trades. I have a vast curiosity and a huge sponge of learning capacity. Downside is, I also easily get uninterested unless it challenges me continuously. I also get engrossed with roles in my head so my interest varies and sways a lot. But hold it there. I am still trying to really recall what was that one distraction when I enumerated it there in the paragraph. So skip this.

One Application form

Also in Highschool (it was not K to 12 then), we have career week where we invite professionals from different fields in case some of us are not yet "set" to have that one path in college to become. Yeah it did help a lot. It opened more imaginations for me. But then again, that one application form did not need that kind of help to, well, make me decide, right on the spot, to change the path I was going to go. Not even the fact that my dad did take that path, too, but on a different field, had anything to do with the shift. Or maybe it did when I did a quick math of probable expenses. Yes, the tons of things that run through my head in a whole minute.

We were handed out college applications forms. And I skimmed, yes, I should not have, through other course options. I was nodding my head in agreement with a seatmate that we were going to take pre-med. One second, two seconds , three seconds, my eyes landed on one course that sounded so cool. Deals with robots (in my head at that time) , possibly, with a lot of tinkering, etcetera. Twenty seconds, Twenty one, twenty two...

Then I wrote in: Electronics and Communications Engineering.

Boom! Sayonara hospitals and patients. No robots here though, that would be in Mechanical Engineering and possible Robotics. We can join in, too but we're more on PCBs and other things.

Game over!

Regrets? None, really.

And oh, hey! I still leave under the roof of my parents every once in a while. But the rules loosened up. Haha!

Also, I shifted. So this was not my final me. Just a part.

tap tap tap tap on that keyboard! how did you get to where you are now?

What is your story?

© Pichi28 | #ClubBrokeBCH

All Original Content.. created by imagination

Unless specified otherwise...