Boost Your Confidence To Reach Your Goals Sooner
I believe, that it is a lot easier to reach a certain goal, when we do it with confidence. Without enough confidence I find it very difficult to get anywhere in life. I experienced it in recent years and I have to admit I struggled big time, because of lack of confidence. Things just didn't turn out the way I wanted. I had to realize, that to get anywhere in life the biggest part, that play that role is me and I do have to have confidence to be able to achieve anything I want.
Here are some tips and suggestions, that you can apply if you feel, that you are weak in this regard and want to boost your confidence.
Focus On The Present Moment
The first step to feeling more confident is focusing on what's happening right now. This doesn't mean you have to dwell on negative thoughts or anything like that; it means you need to be fully present with whatever is going on right now. If something bad happens, you don't want to dwell on it too much, because then you'll start dwelling on how bad it could get. Instead, focus on the positive things instead. For example, if your boss yells at you for something stupid you did and he or she fires you, that will definitely cause a lot of stress. But instead of worrying about it, just think about all the good times you had working there and how happy you were when you got promoted. You can also use this technique during stressful situations as well.
When you're having a hard time concentrating, try doing some simple mental exercises. One way to do this is by writing down random thoughts in your mind. When you start having a thought, that you find random, put a check mark in a imaginary box. After finishing the box, you just started concentrating on, you should try to think of something else. This helps break up the monotony of the bad thoughts and trains your mind to dwell on the good ones. Practice these techniques and you'll start feeling a lot more positive. Just remember to not obsess about them and they should disappear on their own. The more confident you are, the easier it will be to get that promotion or even avoid bad situations.
Think About The Future With Enthusiasm
It's okay to think about the future, just don't get too carried away. Thinking about your goals and succeeding at them in vivid detail can make you feel a lot more confident about them. But don't get too zealous with your enthusiasm; you still want to maintain a certain level of realism. For instance, you probably don't want to think about getting a six-figure income when you are still in your 20s.
You also need to keep in mind, that if you start thinking about this too much, it will become a habit. You'll be tempted to do something else on the side, while you work towards your goal. This is why it's important not to let yourself get too caught up in the moment or lose sight of reality completely. As for what you should actually be doing right now…well, that's going to depend on how motivated you are. If you are in the mood to push yourself a bit, then here are some suggestions:
First, try to increase the amount of time you spend each day working on your goal. Ideally, you would like to be working on it around the clock, but life tends to get in the way. The more time you can put into it on a weekly basis, the quicker you'll get there.
Second, try to make your work on it something you truly enjoy. This may seem like an exercise in futility, but if you genuinely enjoy what you are doing, it will be far more beneficial to your goal in the future. At the very least, it will give you a better reason to work on it.
Third, if you aren't enjoying it, then it probably is time to change things up a bit. If you are really struggling with a certain aspect of your goal, you may have to take a step back from it until you are in a better mindset.
And finally, if none of that is working for you, then you may just have to accept the fact, that you will never be able to put in the hard work and dedication it will require one day. Your mind just isn't going to be strong enough for this.
Believe In Yourself
Obviously, you need to have confidence in yourself, but it's more than that. You need to actually believe in yourself. Maybe you'll fail, but you shouldn't worry about that as much as you should worry about getting better. You need to focus on the process instead of the results. If you do this, then results will come.
I personally think, that it is a good idea to start making a list of all your strengths and weaknesses. What are they? How can you improve them? Then, you need to make a plan for how you want to tackle each one. For example, you might want your strength to be able to keep up with someone else. So, you decide to practice your speed over time. If you realize, that your weakness is being easily distracted by something shiny or new, then you might want to work on improving your focus. The more you do this, the better you will get and with better results, come more confidence.
**Improve Your Focus**
**Routines**
This is another thing, that needs to be on your list for improvement. Routines help you focus and get into a zone where you're less likely to make stupid mistakes. To that end, you need to start having daily routines. For example: If you go out on a regular basis, then have a routine of what you'll do before you go and after when you get home.
For me, I need a certain amount of time to get in the zone. I'll usually need about an hour before I'm good to go. During this time, I generally don't want to be disturbed. Making too many changes to this could disrupt my flow, so try to find what works for you.
**Practice Patience**
This isn't just important for your routines, but in every aspect of your life. No matter how much you want to get ahead, you're going to have to wait for things. It doesn't matter how good you are. Patience is a virtue, that is not usually discussed, but it's important. If you're impatient, you're more likely to make mistakes and get frustrated, which can lead to all sorts of problems.
You probably think, that I'm a hypocrite for preaching patience, but I'm not really. I do everything in my power to have it now, so that I can achieve my goals. Life is a struggle, but it's worth it in the end, so long as you stay focused. Stay determined, and stay patient.
**Keep An Eye On The Future**
Keep in mind, that this isn't going to happen overnight. This is going to take a lot of time and you're not going to be perfect at it right away. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you're learning from them. By keeping an eye on the future, you'll know if you're taking steps forward or backward.
Good things come to those who wait, but it doesn't mean you should wait around for them. A lot of people become passive when it comes to life, and that's never a good thing. There will be unexpected things, that pop up, but if you're prepared, you'll be fine. Just stay focused on the future and you'll get there.
Talk To Someone, Who Can Boost Your Confidence
A lot of the tips listed here are things you can do by yourself, but most people with a lot of confidence wouldn't be confident if they didn't have someone to share it with. Your friends aren't really going to understand your goals and aspirations, and possibly even make fun of you for having them. So why not take matters into your own hands? You could start calling up some of your other friends and see what their opinions on this are.
You also might want to ask around at work about how many guys there are who are interested in you. The more people you talk to, the better chance you'll have of getting a positive response from one of them. Of course, it's entirely possible, that if you talk to a lot of people, you're just going to end up with conversations, that go nowhere. You could even look into joining a social network, specifically designed for this kind of thing. There's an app for everything these days, so why not one for this?
Whatever you decide to do, just remember that confidence is key. If you don't believe that you're going to succeed, then none of the other suggestions are going to work for you. You have to know in your heart, that you'll be reaching your goals soon.
Well, there you have it. I'm sure you have lots of different approaches, that you could take. Maybe you have your own way to boost your confidence or maybe it is the case, that you don't even need more confidence. Thank you for your time for reading.
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Interview With Peter Molnar: He Gave An Interview To "The Writer's Corner"
This is going to be a lot of fun I guess. I had this idea to create an imaginary interview, where I am giving an interview for a writer's magazine as a writer. I think it is going to be challenging too. I thought why not add this to the other challenges, that is already taking place here on Read.Cash. If you want to join see the rules in the footer.
Having said that, let's dive into it.
This is an interview with a writer Peter Molnar, who was invited today to give an interview to us here at our magazine called: **The Writer's Corner.**
-Good afternoon Peter! Thank you for accepting our invitation. It is a pleasure to have you here.
-Good afternoon! Thank you for inviting me. This is going to be my first interview as a writer so I am very excited about it.
-That's great so let's start. Shall we?
-Sure!
Could You Write For A Living?
Absolutely! I mean there are a lot of people write online or offline and they have a decent income from just writing. It can be books, articles for magazines, creating content for others as a full time writer and there are many other ways to make money from writing.
Do You Have Any Advice For New Writers?
Yes, don't give up! Even if you think your story is bad it doesn't necessarily mean, that you won't get better at it. There are so many different genres out there and every one has its own rules and conventions. Just keep trying new things and never stop learning about the craft of writing.
What Are Your Future Plans?
I am currently working on my second novel and plan to continue doing that for quite some time. After that I would like to try something else, but I don't know what yet.
How Can Readers Contact With You?
I can be found online on social media, I have a Twitter account under the same name as this interview. I also have a website, where they can contact me if they wish.
What Made You To Become A Writer?
I learned to write for my own entertainment, when I was very young. I would spend hours writing stories about my friends and making up games involving the characters. I never thought, that I would get paid for this, let alone be a professional writer. However, as they often say, if you want something, you should pursue it. I thought I would never be able to make a living doing this, but here I am, so here is how I did it.
Do You Have A Favorite Book Or Author?
Yes, I love the works of James Patterson. His writing is so adventurous and fun. My favorite ones from him are ***"Run For Your Life"*** and ***"Step On A Crack"***. I also like books, that make me think.
Do You Have A Specific Writing Regimen?
When I write, I try to do it first thing in the morning. I think this is a good time, as my brain is not tired at all for writing. Sometimes though, it just doesn't work out. Yesterday I tried writing a story right before bed, and I just couldn't get into the mood. So I didn't finish it. It sucks, because I had the first two pages written, and it would have set up the rest of the story nicely. Oh well, live and learn.
What's Your Favorite Quote?
***"I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn."*** - Anne Frank
What's Your Writing Process?
I have a very vivid process. It may seem strange, but it works for me. I pick a time and place. I close my eyes and visualize everything. I picture a room, or a street, or even a forest. I fill my mind with all of the characters. I notice what they are saying, I notice what they are doing. Then, I start writing. I try very hard not to think too much about it. If I over think it, it won't come out as well as I want. So I just dive in, feel everything, and let the story flow out.
Do You Have Any Writing Prompts?
No. I have never used writing prompts in the past, and I don't think I ever will. It takes my mind off of my problems when I do this. I find that writing about a certain situation can help me come to grips with my own.
What's Your Favorite Non-Writing Habit?
Aside from writing, I love to draw. I can spend hours and hours on a piece of art, without even eating or drinking. It's a great way for me to forget about everything.
What Was Your Writing Process For Your New Book "Silence?"
I wrote "Silence" completely differently from how I usually do. I usually start off with a detailed outline, though I'll be the first to admit that it's not always necessary. For "Silence," I started off with the basic idea, and then just let it flow in the way it wanted to. Not every story works that way, but it really opened up a new creative side of me.
I would get these crazy ideas, that I just had to write about, and I would. It's amazing what can happen when you abandon all sense of planning for a story. So if you're struggling to write your next story, I would suggest just letting it flow, don't try to figure out what's going to happen next, or even where it's going. Just do it. I think you'll be surprised at what you end up writing.
What's The Most Memorable Reaction You've Gotten From A Reader?
The best reaction I've ever gotten was from a reader, whose name is Jayne. She said, that I had inspired her to leave the city she lived in, and travel. She also told me, that I should pursue writing as a career, because I had a natural talent for it. All of these things I will never forget. It just touched my heart so much.
What's Your Favorite Part Of Writing?
To be honest, sometimes I feel depressed during writing, when I stuck. I don't feel great about myself, like I could do better. Writing is such an emotional rollercoaster for me. Then the story ends, and that sadness is replaced with a new emotion, one of which I can't even explain. For me, writing is bittersweet.
What's The Most Challenging Part Of Writing?
One of the most challenging parts of writing, is writing about my family. Not because I don't want to, or because they wouldn't be interesting. It's just that it's real life, and I have a hard time separating what actually happens from what I make up. I'm currently writing a story about my great uncle, and I'm having a hard time getting him to behave the way I want him to. He's a good man, but he has his faults. Just like everyone else. I'd hate to tarnish his name, because he is a great man. So I'm having trouble making him do things in the story.
Does Writing Ever Fulfill Any Of Your Fantasies?
Honestly, no. Writing never fulfilled any of my fantasies. I've had a few stories published, but none of them have ever become a best seller. So it doesn't fulfill my fantasies in that regard. Writing is an escape for me. A way to let out my anger, my emotions and my problems.
What's The Worst Thing About Writing?
The worst thing about writing, is when stories don't turn out the way you want them to. You work so hard on a story, and you get all these ideas, and you have a vision in your head, but it doesn't always turn out that way. There have been a few stories, that didn't turn out the way I wanted. It sucks, because you pour your heart and soul into it. You're not thinking about anything else except getting that story out, and then it ends up completely different from the vision you had.
How Do You Chose What Stories To Work On?
That's a good question. Well, originally I would choose stories by popular demand. I would read stories that people liked, and choose to work on them. But that quickly became a terrible method of choice. People's taste in stories can be all over the place, and it's hard to please everyone. So I stopped doing it. Now, I choose the stories to work on based off of what I'm feeling. If a story grabs my interest, then I'll work on it. Sometimes, that happens a lot less often than it should, but fortunately the people, who do enjoy my stories are dedicated fans, who will read my stories over and over again even if they don't like them. So it's a good system of sorts.
What Are You Most Proud Of?
I'm most proud of how loyal my readers are. They've stuck with me through out all the stories I've written, even the terrible ones. They give me suggestions on how to improve my stories and for that, I will always be thankful.
What Do You Enjoy Most About Writing?
I enjoy writing about tragedies. Mass murders, tragedies involving war, you name it. I find those to be much more interesting to write about than, say a story about a wily fox having fun hunting rabbits. But that's just me.
What Is Your Favorite Story Of Your Own?
That's hard. There are so many stories I've created, and each one of them have their fans. So I'll go with the story, that received the most positive feedback. That would be the ***"Last Sacrifice"***. I was surprised, when people seemed to enjoy it. It's not my usual type of story, but there are a few selected stories I'll write anyway.
-Thank you so much Peter for being here with us this afternoon.
-It was an absolute pleasure.
I know, that @JRamona20 and @Ellehcim love to write challenges. Feel free to participate in this one if you wish.
The rules for this challenge.
Make at least 15 questions.
Be original as always.
Tag me in your post.
Invite at least one of your friends.
It does not have to be about writing. You can be anything you can imagine an actor, an actress, an artist, a singer, a photographer or anything you want to be. I am looking forward to seeing what is your interview looks like.
Tips For Running A Successful And Lucrative Blog
This article is not specifically written for read.cash bloggers, but if you ever consider to run a blog, with a hosting provider and use your own domain name, then this article might be helpful for you. Running your own blog is very beneficial and you can generate a nice income through ad revenue and promoting products and services as an affiliate. I was inspired to write this blog by @bmjc98. We were talking a little bit about affiliate commissions under her blog, which you can read here:
What Is Swap Space And Why You Should Choose It https://read.cash/@bmjc98/what-is-swapspace-and-why-you-should-choose-it-4e16d577
Table Of Content:
Finding A Topic
How To Make Your Blog Load Fast
Know When To Cut Risks In Order To Increase Readers
How To Get More Blog Readers
Cross Promotion
Search Engine Optimization
Guest Blogging
Forums
Conclusion
Finding A Topic
If you want to find a topic, that could be interesting for your readers, then it is important to know what the readers are looking for. You can use Google Trends to see what topics have been trending in terms of searches over time. If you search ***"how to get a girlfriend"*** on Google Trends, you'll see, that this topic has been trending up in recent years. This means, that people are searching for information about how to meet and attract women.
**Other options to consider include:**
How To Lose Weight
Where To Find The Best Deals
How To Get Rid Of Acne
The Best Ways To Keep Your Kids Entertained - and many more!
Consider what you know. Take this opportunity to use your skills and knowledge. What have you experienced, that could be interesting to other people? What problems have you had, or are you currently facing, that other people can identify with?
You can also consider what you read. What do you find intriguing? What catches your attention? Go ahead and search for posts, that talk about these topics. See what you can re-create in your own words. If you're having a hard time coming up with ideas, then read other people's blogs. Look for the types of posts, that are ranking well. Are there any titles that you like? Use those as a starting point for your own posts.
Finally, if you have experience in a specific field, then it might be worth considering blogging about that topic. Consider a health and wellness blog, or a knitting blog. There's no wrong way to go about this, as long as you keep your content relevant and interesting to your readers.
How To Make Your Blog Load Fast
Having a slow, blog is annoying for the reader and especially for you. If your blog takes forever to load, then you'll lose readers, because people will get annoyed and possibly even leave. Additionally, search engines such as Google will take notice of how much your blog is affecting the performance of their servers and this will also affect your ranking.
**The first step:** in making your blog load faster is to use a web host, that has good performance. Bluehost is a highly recommended one. They're fairly priced and the support is excellent.
**The second step:** is to use a caching plugin. There are some great ones on the market now, that will help to speed up your site. You can see what's available by going to Google and searching for ***"caching plugins".***
**The third step:** is to make your site as small as possible. Any unnecessary files can be removed to improve performance.
Know When To Cut Risks In Order To Increase Readers
Reducing the amount of ads displayed on your blog is always a good way to increase readers. Ads can be distracting for readers and take up valuable space. By removing some of the ads, you'll be able to increase the amount of content, that you're offering, which should hopefully attract more readers.
Removing the ads completely can be dangerous though. If you're running solely on ad revenue, then your blog may die out. You'll need to test different amounts displayed to see what gets the best results.
How To Get More Blog Readers
There are many ways to get more readers for your blog.
**Some of the easiest include:**
**Posting more frequently:** This will require you to write more, but if you're already into a subject, then you probably won't mind too much.
**Paid advertising:** Depending on your niche, you may be able to get companies to pay you to promote their product. You could also look into selling advertising space on your site.
**Offering something for free to your readers:** Some bloggers give away certain bonuses, that readers can get when they sign up for their mailing list. (eBooks, mini Email course, video series or any other good value. Others give away prizes.
Cross Promotion
This is when you promote another person's blog on your own. This can be with another blog, or you can directly promote the other blogger. This is a great way to bring more readers to another blogger, because the reader trusts, that your recommendation of the other blog is going to be good.
Search Engine Optimization
SEO is the process of making your site easy to find, when people search online using specific keywords. If someone is searching for a blog about weight loss you want your site to come up in the results. To do this, you'll need to find keywords, that people are using to search for your topic and make sure your site has the SEO information needed to rank high.
Getting high search engine rankings is difficult. It requires continual updating your site with new content and making sure your site contains the information, that people are looking for when they do search. It's a time consuming process and it's easy to make a mistake, that causes your site to lose search engine ranking.
There are many advantages to having high search engine rankings.
**Some of the benefits are:**
More people find your site and you get more readers.
You are able to target a specific audience.
**There are two basic ways to do search engine optimization.**
"White Hat SEO" or "SEO that works" involves following the guidelines provided by search engines. By not breaking any of the rules you're less likely to get a website ban. Google has updated their guidelines several times recently to crack down on offenders, so following the guidelines is more important than ever.
"Black hat SEO" or "SEO that isn't working" involves allowing your site to break the rules in order to gain an advantage. This type of SEO isn't going to get you banned from search engines right away, but it is likely to result in penalties. Penalty avoidance tools have become available for free or cheap to help avoid penalties.
In general, it is best to avoid using black hat SEO at all if possible. There are occasions, where it may be necessary to use these practices, but in general it isn't worth the risk in the long term.
**There are many tools, that can be used for SEO.**
**Forums:** Some forums have SEO or search engine optimization "guilds." These are communities of people who share their knowledge and discuss the ins and outs of the industry. Forum members are a great resource for finding information. These include forums like Smashing Magazine and SitePoint. There are many forums covering the popular topics of web development, software and free software. Forums often have guides or tutorials, that can provide good starting points for your blog. Several forums allow users to rate other users posts and comment on them. Giving helpful comments and up votes can improve your standing with the community, which in turn, improves the visibility of your post.
**Search Engines:** There are also many industry-specific search engines, that can be used. General search engines, like Google and Bing typically return better results, than specialized ones, like Joomla SEO or Drupal SEO. Search engines such as Google can index webpages, that include links to other related pages. Linking to pages, that are covering similar topics as your own is a great way to improve your search engine ranking.
**Comments:** Sometimes a great post can attract lots of traffic, but not have much in the way of comments. This means that people, who are looking for information on your topic aren't reading your other posts, and are being separated from them by spam posts. Comments can be used to prevent this from happening. By having good comments, that engage with readers you can keep them on your site and encourage people to check out your other posts.
**Linking:** When writing a post, it is a good idea to include a link to it at the top or at the bottom of your post. This helps people who are searching for information in the future to find your post. Linking to your post from your own post is also effective in helping it rank well.
Guest Blogging
If you know someone, who has a blog similar to yours, then you could ask them if you can contribute a blog post to their website. When you write a guest post, you write a post about something related to your own niche and post it on another site. The other site should either be a related niche site, which is similar to your own, or a general website that has a large user base. For example, you could write a guest post about using the WordPress platform to launch a successful crowd funding campaign on Patreon, and post the link to your own website.
Conclusion
Whenever you are trying to attract traffic to your website, it is important to have a focal point for the text of your post. The title is the first thing, that appears in Google search results, and all the other text is used to describe the post in greater detail.
The image is probably the most important part of the post though. The image should be eye-catching and representative of the post. The alt text should be closely matched to the image, as it can be used in Google Search results.
All the text and images should be well-written and grammatically correct.
Incorporating social media into your blog can help you spread the word about your work to an ever-growing audience. If you are looking to promote a book, then using social media to gather guest posts could be the way to go. If you want to promote a product, then forums would be a better option.
Taking the time to create engaging content, that your readers want to read can have a huge effect on the success of your blog.
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Enjoy The Great Outdoors: Benefits To Soak Up The Fresh Nature
It's not just about getting some fresh air; it's also about feeling good in general. The benefits to your mind and body are endless. You can expect to feel more alert, more focused, and more creative, once you've spent some time in nature. And if you're someone like me, then you'll also become more patient, kind, and giving as well. Outdoors, I often find myself taking time to appreciate the small things in life. The Sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, the smell of the ground. Simple pleasures, that I take for granted in a controlled environment, but that are utterly free and available to me all the time outside.
Sometimes I think, that we humans have lost a part of ourselves. A part that we will never regain. We are and will always be, a creature of the soil. We were made to be outside. We were made to survive in the wild. Are you one of the humans, that has embraced this simple truth and reconnected with nature? If so, I'm very proud of you. If you're still searching for that missing part of yourself, like I once was, then this gift will help. I hope you find it.
How To Find Ourselves In The Nature?
How are you supposed to find yourself in the nature? What should you do? The truth is, it's hard to know where to start. The best thing to do is to find a piece of land that you know. Maybe it's a spot you've walked to before. Maybe it's a spot your family has always enjoyed. Find a place, that you know well and try to make it your "safe spot." When you're there, take a moment to just sit and enjoy the silence. Try to sense what's around you. Can you tell what types of trees are nearby? What's the soil like under your feet? What does the wind feel like on your face? Once you've got a good idea about your surroundings, start trying to envision the surrounding area as it would be if it were wilderness.
Can you tell how far everything is? Is there a river nearby? Does it seem to flow in a general direction? Start expanding from your starting point. Imagine other people there. What are they doing? Are there tourists there? When you imagine other people, do they seem to be having fun or are they miserable? Take your time expanding outwards. You can add details as you go or just leave it as is. Do whatever seems comfortable for you. Once you're satisfied with your finding, seal it with a protective charm.
How Nature Can Benefits Our Health?
While it can't be said for certain, taking a stroll or hike in the wilderness offers many benefits to your health. In particular, spending time outside when it's cold or hot provides benefits to your body. Spending time outside when it's cold decreases your chances of catching a cold. Spending time outside when it's hot increases your endurance. However, there are two key differences between hiking and going for a walk in the park or woods.
The first difference is that on a regular basis your body will become more fit, than it was when you started. Regular hiking will result in your body becoming more durable and in shape. This is especially true if you're going for a long hike. The second difference is, that spending time in a natural setting can provide benefits to your mind. By taking a moment to appreciate the landscape, you'll often discover something new about yourself. You'll see things that you didn't notice before.
As a result, you might notice, things that you didn't notice before, like insects or plants that you can identify. You may even notice animals, that you didn't know lived in the area. For these reasons and more, I definitely encourage you to spend more time outside and if you're feeling up to it, you can always take a trip in the wilderness. The best way to discover something is to experience it firsthand and that can only be done by going into the wild.
Embrace Your Surroundings
Take a moment to get in a quiet place. Find a spot, that you can be undisturbed for a few moments. You can close your eyes if it helps, but the silence isn't mandatory. You just want to be away from distraction. As you sit in your quiet spot, try to get a feel for where everything is. What's around you? What's under you? What's above you? Wherever you are, take a moment to notice all of the sensations, that your body is experiencing. The air on your skin, the grass beneath you, the silence around you and the pulse of your heart.
Once you've taken the time to appreciate your surroundings, start having fun. Start enjoying the fact that you're alive. Enjoy the feeling of your lungs breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide. Enjoy the feeling of your heart pumping blood. If you can keep your mind occupied with sensations like these, then you'll be fine. But if you start worrying about what you're going to do when your food runs out, or if you're going to be able to protect yourself from the elements, or even if you're going to survive the night, then you're going to end up having a very bad day.
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What Is Holding You Back To Be Successful?
If you are a woman, then I'm sure, that you've heard this one before. It's probably been said to you more times, than any other question ever has. You get the same answer all the time: ***"I am not good enough."***
The problem with that statement is there isn't really anything wrong with you. What is wrong with being a woman? You are not lacking in natural smarts. In fact, you probably have more natural smarts, than most men, yet still you feel the need to be "better" or "smarter."
The Real Problem Is The Way Women Are Supposed To Act
The way society has decided women are supposed to act versus how they actually want to act is vastly different. It isn't until they break free of that mold that they will ever be able to truly succeed in life, but if the only way they achieve success is to fit into a certain box, then what motivation do they have?
Of course that motivation is so they can exist in society, but once again the structures are in place to make that impossible. Even if they manage to fit into the box, they still won't be able to truly be happy.
Basically they need to fight against the system. I understand that it must be hard to want to bite the hand that feeds them, but that's exactly what they need to do. They need to stop being a pawn of the system. This might seem pretty bleak, and I'm not saying, that to scare them; I'm saying it because it needs to be said.
Find Your Own Path In Life
What that path is, well that's for you to decide. The problem is, that society has laid out a pretty specific path for you to take. You need to ignore what they are telling you and develop your own ideas. You don't need to do this alone though. Find someone, that shares your goals and ambitions and strive to succeed with them. You will see, that it will be worth it. Also always know, what people expect from you. If something doesn't seem fun, then you shouldn't be doing it.
You need to have fun while still advancing yourself, because believe me this isn't going to be all fun and games. In fact, I don't even want to tell you most of what you should and shouldn't do, because you need to figure all of that stuff out for yourself. The point I'm trying to make is, that you need to start thinking for yourself in all aspects of your life, especially how you want to be viewed by others.
Start Seeing The World Through New Eyes
I've noticed about people, who have found their passion in life is they don't really worry about what other people think. If something is in their path and they want it, they go get it. They don't care if it's "girly" or "boyish." They don't care if it's popular or unpopular. They don't care what it takes. They just do what they want, and most of the time, that's what other people respond to.
Think about it, if someone really wanted to stop you from getting into medicine, just because they don't like the idea of women in the field, they'd be pissed that you're going to medical school and try to block or delay your applications, and even then you were going to get in anyway.
But, that mentality isn't the exception, it's the norm. If you want to be something, but are focused on something else, you're almost bound to fail. People will try to set you back. It's how the world works. Don't let them do it.
Be Passionate
This is kind of related to the previous point, but when you truly love something, you don't do it half way. If you like doing something, you should be going all the way with it. If you don't have passion, then why bother doing it?
I get that this is easier said than done, and you're probably thinking you don't have anything you love and that you can't think of anything to take up your time. Well you're wrong. You love learning and that's what's going to get you through this, so start filling your mind with as many facts as you can. Think of it this way, if you're ever in a situation, where you have to choose between health and death, which will you choose? How are you going to react if you're ever put in that situation? What skills do you have, that can help you survive? What other skills do you have, that can help you in that situation?
I know you want to think of this as ***"just in case."*** That's perfectly fine. We all need to prepare for the worst. But even if you never get that way, just think about how much knowledge you're gaining and how much sharper your mind is going to be. Your brain is going to hold a lot more information, than most people's and it's going to make you feel more powerful. Power is something, that the world desperately wants, and it's something, that you have in abundance.
Boring Overused Phrases
***"Follow your dreams"***, ***"Don't be afraid to fail"***, and ***"Believe in yourself"*** are some of the most overused pieces of advice in this world. They're usually said by people you don't even know or trust, and they're not helping you at all.
**Try and think of it like this:**
You have two paths in front of you, one is a long and very uncertain path of trials and tribulations, that may or may not even exist, the other is a straight line with a certain ending. Which one would you choose?
The uncertain path has a 50/50 chance of taking you to where you want to go and who knows if you'll even survive.
The other path, the certain path, may not be easy, but rest assured you'll definitely get to where you want to be.
So choose your path, wisely and carefully.
Take The Certain Path To Be Successful
With all your effort, practice and learning related things to achieve your goals and be successful, eventually you get the hang of it, its not as easy as it looks but with enough dedication and effort you'll get there. It's not going to be fun, you're going to have to work hard and sometimes, that involves facing against the fact, that you will fail. But if you keep on trying, you'll eventually get to where you want to be.
After you get there, you'll look back on this experience and be glad, that you made the choices, that got you there. So remember, choices have consequences, but those consequences don't have to be bad, if you make the right ones. Just choose wisely and carefully in the first place.
Is Determination Really The Only Thing You Need To Succeed?
Determination is definitely a key part of getting ahead in life, but its not the only one.
**Diligent:** Diligent people are the ones, that set aside time each day to work on their goals and continue to practice what they're learning. They may have a rough idea of where they're going, but they're not strolling there; they're taking perfectly measured steps along the way.
**Unlucky:** Unfortunate people tend to take a ***"let's try anything"*** approach to life. They tend to not bother with the tedious things, because they don't see the need to. They usually end up failing, because they didn't take the time to master their chosen field of endeavor. The ones, that do succeed generally are the ones, who dedicate themselves to their chosen field wholeheartedly.
**Curious:** The curious type of person wants to know everything there is to know about a particular topic. They will spend days, or even weeks, researching a particular topic and often go to extremes to learn more about it. They tend to have a very narrow field of interest, but they are the most dedicated of all types. These types are often labeled as "nerds" and not usually appreciated by their fellow classmates, but their persistence and dedication usually comes through in the end.
**Intelligent:** Intelligence in and of itself isn't going to win you any ladders. Intelligence is a very important factor in ladder climbing, but there are other traits, that you'll need to be a well rounded intelligent. For example: You need to be a good judge of character and learn to trust others. Some of your friends are going to be snakes and some aren't, so it's important, that you know who is reliable and who isn't. Recognize when you need a break. While intelligence is certainly a trait, that will set you apart, over-working yourself can lead to burn out. You'll need to take time to re-energize your mental reserves.
**Conclusion**
Well, those are your choices. Ever since you took control of your own destiny by changing your major, you've been making good progress in that major. You've learned a lot and have gotten used to the college lifestyle. You're even enjoying it. So are you going to continue your current path and continue doing well in your major, or take a risk and change it up?
**Note:** This choice affects future stories. Your choice here will determine which stories are told.
Thank you for reading.
This article is for @JonicaBradley's writing prompt #9: Success
Lead Image Source: Unsplash
New Wave Music In The '80s Influenced The Decade
The 80's were a decade of experimentation and innovation. It was also the era, when music became more popular than ever before, which led to an explosion in new bands and genres. This meant, that there were many more influences on music during this time period, than there are today. While it is true, that some of these new bands did influence the '90s, they didn't do so in such a way as to make them sound like their predecessors. A lot of the music, that was coming out during the '80s sounded very different from music, that came before or after it.
So What Were Some Of These Differences?
For one, the musical style was a lot more influenced by pop music, than it was during the '60s and '70s. This was mainly due to the rise in popularity of MTV and the pop singles, that were being played on the radio a lot more. Bands like The Smiths, The Cure, Depeche Mode, New Order, A-Ha, INXS, Duran Duran, and many more were having a lot of influence on the music, that was being made. Another big change from the past was the use of synthesizers and electronic instruments in music. Before this came around, rock and roll was almost completely ruled by the drums and guitars. Rock bands didn't use synths and electronic instruments, because they didn't exist back in the day.
The '80s saw the rise of these instruments in rock and it would forever change music as we know it. Bands like Craftwork, Yellow Magic Orchestra, Giorgio Moroder, Gary Numan, and Aphex Twin were all very influential during this time. Musically, the '80s was also a lot more introspective, than the previous decades. Many people attribute this to the troubled economy during this time period, which did play a part. The self reflection can also be heard in songs about relationships and even about drugs, which were big during this decade. In fact, the moral decline in American society can already be heard in music with a song like "Respectable" by The Rolling Stones.
These are only a few of the many differences between the music of the '80s and that of the past. To learn more about this time period and the music that was created, I would recommend, that you listen to some of these songs. They will give you a better idea of what the decade was like. Don't worry, they aren't as hard listening now as they were back in the day. Recommended Bands: The Smiths, New Order, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, A-Ha, Eve 6, The Style Council, George Michael, The Police, and U2. Recommended CDs: The Police - Reggatta De Blanc, Michael Jackson - Thriller, George Michael - Faith, U2 - The Joshua Tree, Talking Heads - Little Creatures, David Bowie - Let's Dance, Duran Duran - Duranguy, Depeche Mode - A Broken Frame, George Harrison - All Things Must Pass, Talking Heads - concert film from the '80s.
If you really want a good time, you should buy one of the many music CDs, that came out during this decade along with a pair of nice headphones. Sit down in a quiet place and listen to these CDs until the songs become as familiar to you as your own voice. Then, you will truly understand what the '80s were all about.
What About The Lyrics?
One of the common things you will hear when people criticize music from the 80's is the lyrics. Bands like Nazareth, Mötley Crüe, and W.A.S.P. are often brought up. Lyrics like ***"I'm violent, I'm stupid, and I'm proud of it!"***, ***"Drink a bottle full of poison, it won't even hurt!"*** and ***"When I die, I'm going straight to hell!"*** are among the more obvious ones. Another common complaint is the over use of synths and electronic beats in music. It is said, that the absence of these things make music from the '70s and earlier better, than that from the '80s. I don't really agree with this though. I think the '80s had their fair share of great synth songs, but I also think, that these songs are few and far between.
What Makes Music From Earlier Decades Better?
The answer is simple; it's the lyrics. Take a look at some of these old songs; they all have very simple beats and not much in the way of complexity. However, the lyrics in these songs are much more poetic and often times very meaningful. Take a look at the opening lyrics of Van Halen's "Panama" for example:
***"Jump back, what's that sound?***
***Here she comes, full blast'n top down***
***Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue***
***Model citizen, zero discipline***
***Don't you know she's coming home with me***
***You'll lose her in that turn***
***I'll get her!"***
I don't really think you need complex music with deep and meaningful lyrics to achieve a similar effect. The fact of the matter is, the simplicity of a song with complex lyrics is enough to create a much stronger atmosphere, than complex music with shallow or outright stupid lyrics. I think this is one of the few things, that can truly separate music from the past from today.
Remember, music is not just about notes and rhythms, it's about feeling. You can take a normally simple sounding song and make it much more powerful with lyrics, that mean something, even if they're complex. So turn off the radio and take some time to listen to something with deeper meaning. You may just find yourself experiencing feelings you never knew you could.
Some Best Sellers Of The '80s Music
The music industry of the '80s was extremely lucrative and bands like Van Halen, Ratt, and U2 all benefited greatly from it. However, it is interesting to note, that the decade produced a few bands, who had relatively successful runs during this era although hardly anyone remembers them today. Personally, I think these five acts are the bestsellers of the '80s, if for no other reason, than because they all released a lot of music that's still enjoyed today (even though U2 has lost a bit of their luster recently)
**5 . Tiffany**
Tiffany was a relatively successful band, that rose to prominence during the '80s. The band was rather forgettable though and had no major hits, like some of the other bands on this list. Despite this, a couple of their songs did manage to enter the top five of the music charts. Their most successful song was ***"I Think We're Alone Now,"*** a rather creepy ballad about loneliness which peaked at #2. Most people probably don't remember this band at all even though they were fairly popular at the time.
**4 . Eurythmics**
This band was actually a success during the '70s as well, but nothing much came of it at the time. The band broke out of the shadows during the '80s though and had a very successful decade. Their biggest hit was ***"Would I Lie To You?"*** which hit #1 in 1985. The song is about lying and actually does a good job of telling the listener not to do it. It's one of those songs that's catchy yet also meaningful. It's easily one of my favorite songs by them.
**3 . Milli Vanilli**
I know what you're probably thinking, how the hell does this obscure group from this obscure decade make the list when we are supposedly talking about the best sellers of all time? Well, this is where things get a little weird. This group had some success in the United States during the early '90s. That's right, the Milli Vanilli duo actually had a hit song in the United States! ***"Girl You Know It's True"*** actually hit #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1991. The song was just as corny as you'd imagine a Milli Vanilli ballad to be, but it was a hit nonetheless.
The duo consisted of Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus. Morvan was the actual vocalist and performed all the singing. Apparently he was a pretty good mimic. In fact, he got his start in show business impersonating John Travolta onstrike. Pilatus did all the writing and was the more musically talented of the two. He played all the instruments on the song as well as many others for Milli Vanilli. He was also responsible for coming up with the dance moves for the video which Morvan mimicked in the video. Something about the whole thing just seems fishy and you have to wonder if Morvan didn't copy his famous impersonation of Travolta.
**2 . George Michael**
I don't think there's a single person on this planet that hasn't heard the song ***"Faith"***. It's probably the most recognized song from the '80s and for good reason. It's a very catchy song with an interesting and unique video to boot. This song was the was released from the ***"Faith"*** album. The album itself ended up sold with 25 million copies worldwide.
**1 . We Are The World**
We Are The World is without a doubt the most famous song from the '80s. It was released in 1985 by Columbia Records. The song was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie for the album ***"We Are The World"*** in 1985. The song was recorded by various artists in an attempt to raise money for the famine relif efforts in Ethiopia. The song became an instant hit, reaching the top of both the US Billboard Hot 100 and UK Singles Charts.
It was the biggest selling single in the US. It is arguably the most memorable song to come out of the '80s and is still one of the most recognizable songs today. It is the most successful charity single of all time.
Lead Image Source: http://www.liketotally80s.com/2006/12/80s-new-wave/
How Can You Achieve Ultimate Bliss?
The answer is simple. The only way to achieve ultimate bliss, is by achieving complete and total liberation from the cycle of birth and death. This means, that you must not only stop living in this world, but also completely abandon all attachments to it. This is a very difficult task for most people, because they have so many attachments to life. They want to live, they want to have fun, they want to sleep, they want to eat, drink and be merry. These are all things, which we humans enjoy doing.
**Table Of Content:**
**Why Do You Enjoy Doing Such Things?**
**What Should You Do?**
**Why Bother?**
**Choosing The Right Path**
**Now It Is The Time To Take Off Your Eye Patch**
Why Do You Enjoy Doing Such Things?
If you were to stop eating, drinking and sleeping you probably wouldn't be happy with yourself. Why? Because you have gotten accustomed to the 'routine'. Sure you might be on edge for a little while, but after a day or two you'll get use to it. This is just how your body works.
You go through 'routines' in order to keep your body running. Often though, these routines are replaced with new ones. You start doing things out of habit. You start doing things without thought and without enjoyment. This is what causes people to go insane, because they don't know when to stop. They live life half-assed, because they're afraid to die.
What Should You Do?
Should you set out to become a monk and lead a miserable existence without any pleasures? This is what most people eventually do. They give up all pleasures and live in seclusion as they attempt to reach some sort of 'nirvana'. Should you instead continue to enjoy life to its fullest until your last days? If you do this, then at least you will have been truly living.
There is always a middle way, that you can find. You don't give up all your pleasures. Instead you temper them. You give up eating certain types of meat, for instance. You give up alcohol altogether, if you start to feel unsteady. This way you don't give up all your pleasures, but you also don't go insane trying to pursue them. It is very difficult to achieve a good balance between giving up and indulging in pleasures.
After all, if you give up something, that you enjoy, then what's the point of doing it at all? This seems to be a common problem that most people face, when attempting to lead a 'normal' life while still indulging in pleasures. Perhaps you should give up these pleasures. The point of living, after all, is to achieve a higher state of existence. While leading a normal life, you might feel as if you're just staying in the same place.
Why Bother?
You should find a way to reach your goal. Of course this all seems very difficult and it would be easy to give into hedonism and just enjoy yourself. Why bother with all this moderation stuff anyway, when you could just have a little of this and a little of that? You could easily end up in a worse condition, than when you started. It is a difficult burden to bear, but you have been given the gift of choice and it is your duty to make the best decisions possible with that gift.
Choosing The Right Path
Now you must decide if your are ready to face the trials, that are to come. For this, you must remove your eye patch. Doing so will reveal your 'tactual', or in layman's terms, your soul. Before you can get to that though, you must first make a decision as to what you'll do with your life. You have many choices before you. You have the capability to achieve much in your life. You have every ability to become the person you want to be. Only you can set obstacles in front of you.
Do you have the determination to make it? Do you have the ability to do so?
You can choose to walk the path of a warrior, seeking out opponents to face and destroy them. You can choose the path of an assassin, silently killing your enemies and making few friends in the process. You can choose the path of a scholar, learning new things and making a life's work of studying a particular field. You can choose the path of a priest, serving your gods and keeping the faith of whatever religion you follow.
You can choose the path of a pirate, seeking out the wealthiest targets for your attacks and pilfering from them without consequence. You can choose the path of a thief, breaking into homes and businesses and using those you steal for your own purposes. Or you can choose the path of a vagabond, seeing the world and living life to the fullest, helping nobody and taking from the rich to give to the poor. Before you can find out what your fate holds, you must first make your choice.
Now It Is The Time To Take Off Your Eye Patch
You remove the patch from your left eye, revealing your 'tactual'. This is a very important organ. Your tactual is the seat of your soul, the part of your brain, that makes you who you are. The 'tactual' is divided into two hemispheres, and each hemisphere is in control of one eye.
The left 'tactual' holds the memories of everything that has happened to you since birth. These memories are very important, for they are the only things that give you a sense of identity. The right 'tactual' holds your dreams, your fears, your hopes and your aspirations.
Without your dreams, you would have no goals. Without your fears and your hopes, you would have no motivation to go on living. As you grow and mature, your dreams become bigger and your goals higher. As you fail and fall, your dreams die with you. The only thing that matters more than your dreams and your 'tactual', is your will to live. Your life is yours. It is up to you what you do with it.
10 Fashion Trends, That Are Back In 2021
You can't help, but notice that there's a lot more emphasis on clothes than before. There are also some other things, that seem to be common sense nowadays. Collar and neck ties are uncommon, but still popular. Trench coats are more common, than they have been in a long time, but they're also covered in small patches, zippers or fur. It's more common to just have the coat be a single color.
Pants are still very uncommon, but they're starting to become more common. They're usually very baggy and can have strange things like pockets or belts around the middle. Shorts have been completely replaced by what are called "comfy pants". They're usually just as long as they need to be to cover your legs, but are much more flexible. They usually have a drawstring around the waist as well. Body suits are extremely popular.
Having said that, let's dive right into this list of trending fashion.
**10. The Pantsuit Is Back!**
The pantsuit is back and it's time to wear something a little more comfortable than your old sweatpants. This trend has been going strong for the past few years, but now that we're finally seeing some women rocking them in mainstream media again, they've become so overused that people are starting to get tired of wearing them. That being said, there are still plenty of people who love wearing them because they feel like they're showing off their fashion sense. You can't blame anyone for liking something when it's trending right?
Comfortable And Stylish In addition to being more comfortable than sweatpants, the pantsuit allows you to be stylish. Some outfits can look very put together with a simple suit and some heels. The pantsuit doesn't have to be boring either; you can jazz it up with some jewelry andaccessories.
https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1560377
9. No More Ankle Cuffs
It seems like every other girl has this trend nowadays. While ankle cuffs do have their place, they're not as versatile as they seem. They can make any outfit look a little more mature and polished, but they're just not as cute on a teenager, because it's a little more like they're sending a message of "mature women don't sweat the small stuff, but we do!" Teens want to look like they're having fun and not taking themselves too seriously.
8. Minimalism
Not everything needs to be over the top, especially when it comes to fashion. You don't have to wear a pleather mini skirt and a crop top that says "Whore" because you can improve your style without losing your mind. The less you wear, the more attention you get.
7. Crop Tops Are Forever
There's still a certain bit of rebelliousness about crop tops. It hasn't gone out of style and it still manages to be comfortable. A good crop top can add a whole new level of sexuality to an outfit. You can show a little leg and boost your confidence all at the same time. If you're feeling a bit more demure, a one piece bathing suit with a crop top over the top can also make your legs look even longer.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/66755335@N05/8280888440
6. Denim
Even if it's just a pair of skinny jeans and a plain white t-shirt, denim is always a good look. There's something about a man in a pair of tight jeans that screams "I know what I'm doing," that is very attractive. Plus, it's a very versatile fabric, you can't go wrong with that.
5. Oversized Knit Shirts
I didn't think I'd see this coming back, but oversized knit shirts are making a comeback. They're very comfortable in this winter climate and work well under bulky jackets. It's almost like you're wearing a blanket, but it still looks pretty decent.
4. Dresses
Dresses are back! It's a simple clothing item that can make or break an outfit. Dresses can be very revealing, but the good kind of revealing where you're daring and enticing. They can be alluring and alluring in a way that calls for them to be worn with tights or stockings, but they also look very nice with bare legs.
3. Over Sized Denims
This is the most unexpected clothing item that has made this years list. I never thought I'd see oversized denim making a comeback, but it has. It's almost like they're a tribute to the 90's, but they fit a bit more nowadays. You can really pull it off with a cute pair of boots or ankle boots.
2. Plaid
Plaid isn't just a nostalgic look back, it's a timeless classic that is always in style. It's never going out of style and can be paired with nearly any other garment. It can be paired with a suit and make you look very dapper, or it can be worn with a tee and jeans to make you look like a college student. You can even wear it with a bomber jacket to make you look like a rugged soldier. No matter what you decide to wear, plaid will always be a popular choice.
https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1519407
1. Miniskirts
Talk about a classic. There's something so enticing and tempting about a miniskirt. They make practically any outfit look a lot more interesting. It doesn't have to be a t-shirt and booty shorts, it can be a nice pair of jeans and a cute top. They're a bit more complicated to wear, but they're worth it.
Well there you have it, the top 10 clothing items, that are making their way into style this year. Which do you think is the most important? Why do you think it's coming back? Is there a trend I missed, that you're vibing this year? Let me know in the comments below, I always enjoy reading your responses. Until next time, stay classy folks.
Lead Image Source: https://www.thebvnewspaper.com/2021/04/23/spring-fashion-trends-have-emerged/
From The Ancient Civilizations To The New World
The ancient civilizations of the world were all based on a single idea: to survive. The concept, that you could live in a place, where there was no war, disease or starvation. A place where people had enough food and water to be happy and healthy. It's amazing how many ideas we have about what life should be like, but they're all based around survival. And it makes sense! Without survival, there is no happiness. You can have the greatest empire, have enough resources to live in luxury, and still not survive, because it crumble from within.
The ancient civilizations, that have been found by explorers were based around this idea. Several times in history, ships have sailed the world looking for new lands and found them. There's many different types of civilizations, but they have one thing in common: they're all dead. Now, I'm not saying that these civilizations were not capable of great things.
Many of them built huge wonders, that still stand today. They developed amazing technologies, and mastered magic we still use today. Many of these civilizations also created the modern day ideas of government, writing, religion and more. These things may not seem like a big deal now, but in the history of the world, they are massive jumps forward for human kind.
In this article I will talk about the Olmec, the Maya and the Aztec civilizations.
The Olmecs
The first civilization to develop in the area was the Olmecs. They were a group of people, who lived in Mexico and Central America during the Late Pre-Classic period. Their culture is best known for their large stone heads, which they used as totems or religious objects.
These headstones are still found throughout Mesoamerica today. The Olmecs were not only well-known for their monumental heads, but also for their sophisticated architecture. They built pyramid-like structures made of stone, which still stand today. The most famous of these structures is called the Great pyramid of La Venta, which can be seen from afar across the plains of Mexico.
https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:20041229-Olmec_Head_(Museo_Nacional_de_Antropolog%C3%ADa).jpg
While the Olmecs are known for their stone-based architecture, they did make use of earth as well. We know this from the many circular buildings that have been found. They were built with a solid stone base and adobe (earth) shells, which could be taken down easily and transported. Other than the circular buildings, the Olmec civilization is only known to us through their art. Olmec art tells a story of a nation, that was in contact with the distant Mediterranean World, which suggests that they had trading contacts there.
This is shown by the artwork, that depicts ships and people with various Mediterranean features. Perhaps some of their artists even came from that part of the world. The Olmecs are thought to have been destroyed by a combination of external and internal factors. A number of their major sites remained unexplored and intact until relatively modern times. It was only due to the looting of the rich grave sites, that led to their rediscovery.
The Mayan
Moving on from the Olmecs, the Maya civilization popped up in the area. They too, like the Olmecs, built impressive structures made of stone. These structures were also rectangular and built on solid stone bases, though they tend to be larger. The major difference is, that the Mayan built theirs with wood and stucco. In areas where stone was in short supply, they have also been known to build with mud and wood. Their structures tend to be lesser quality, but still look neat and are easier on the environment. Mayan artwork tends to be more abstract and their structures less "tall", than those of their predecessors.
https://pxhere.com/en/photo/676352
The only pyramid-like building they tend to build is that of a temple, which are mostly used for religious purposes such as worship. Some of these temples are massive, reaching forty to fifty stories. As with all things, the Maya civilization fell into obscurity and was eventually conquered by a group of more organized people called the Aztecs. Like the Olmecs before them, the Mayan left us with an extensive body of artwork. Perhaps the most impressive of these works of art is their stonework. The precision, detail and quality of the artwork found on the stone buildings left behind is nothing short of amazing.
The Aztecs
The next group, that would play a major role in the future of this land were called the Aztecs. They are most famous for their warfare, which would eventually lead to their downfall. Unlike the other groups mentioned above, they did not build a major empire or structure. What they did was settle in the area and launch a series of attacks on the various places nearby, mainly the Maya and the Olmecs. This eventually lead to them being conquered by the Mayans, who were still around to fight off a number of other invading groups such as the Spanish and the French.
Warfare wasn't the only thing, that the Aztecs were famous for. They were also very religious and built loads of large temples and pyramids dedicated to their Gods. The size and grandeur of these structures were on a massive scale, taking decades or even a whole century to complete. They were intended as temples for the Gods not just for Aztec citizens, but also for the sacrifices, that would take place there.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/aloha75/8602069314
Human sacrifices were common, as the Gods demanded it in order to keep them pleased. The major contribution, that they made to this land were their written language, the calendar and their writing system. The former allowed for an extensive history to be kept, the latter allowed for complex literature to be created and the third allowed for a system of hieroglyphs, which were picture based writing.
This was a major advance on the cuneiform used by the Sumers and the Phoenicians, but was replaced by the Latin alphabet once the Spanish conquered the Aztecs. It is no wonder, that they were ultimately conquered by the Spanish, who had a far more efficient system of warfare. The Olmecs, the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Spanish are all in the past now.
Modern Day People
The current inhabitants of this land are the modern day people. What are they like? Well, that's a question with a lot of answers. Most of the history of this place is pretty much unknown to the modern world, thanks in part to the Church. When the first explorers from the Old World started finding their settlements, the Church was all too eager to have them killed for their "blasphemy". This was before the days of explorers and sailors, so we don't really have any records of these people, only their spoils.
The Spanish created the most detailed records of the Pre-Spanish civilizations. Most of the books and documents created about them are loaded with propaganda, but they do contain some accurate information. The common people of this land are known as "Hispanics", a term which basically means "Spanish people who don't live in Spain". The term now has a slightly derogatory meaning, which is "Spanish peasant, who is overly patriotic and a little bit retarded" but to be fair, it isn't really that far off.
The Spanish do have a history of raising huge armies of peasants to fight their wars. They also have a history of riding horses, but that's not a big problem in this environment. They tend to be darker skinned, than their 'pale' siblings in Spain (who generally live in bigger cities like Madrid, Barcelona and Sevilla, as well as the Caribbean). They also tend to have more curly or kinky black hair. The curly black hair is generally passed down through the mothers, not the fathers. They also generally have a slightly shorter life span, thanks to the higher amount of violence in the society.
The Hispanics generally live in huge, sprawling cities, which contain as many people as small countries. They also have another trait that one could call an 'inherited flaw': Habsism. That is, they believe that the Spanish people are the only people, who are genuinely 'good' or ' pure '. This can be seen as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on who you are. This is a very new society. They have only been 'modernizing' for about two centuries, and even then it's a pretty recent thing in comparison to other places.
It also means, that they still have a lot of 'traditional' values, which can be good or bad. The most obvious 'good' thing is that they tend to be very resistant to changing things. The system is more or less stuck in a time loop: industrialization, expansion, then regression before expansion again. This has lead to a slightly stagnant society, but one that doesn't change too much. The bad thing is they tend to not learn from their mistakes. Take for instance their attitude towards technology. They have automatic turrets and other weapons, because they remember how the Spanish used to have them and assume, that they are helpful.
Then they have the repeating blunder of making the same mistakes over and over, with the Indians. The Spanish first came to the New World to fight the Aztecs, then stayed to work the gold and silver. While there was always a degree of money issues due to the low population, it didn't really impact too much on the society. However, the huge rise in population and the decline in gold and silver has changed everything. The Indians are no longer a reliable source of supplies for food and materials anymore. The native people of the New World are becoming less and less docile and are declaring war on the Spanish.
The latest thing that's causing problems is the fact, that the land is dying, or rather has been dying for quite some time. To save energy, the cities have been running on minimum power levels. This has had a severe effect on the land. Crops don't grow, trees don't live, air doesn't breath. Basically, it's killing the environment. This has started a mass migration from the cities to the new 'land' that the Church has found. This new land is actually an island, which hasn't had a population for hundreds of years. The island used to be known as 'Jumano' or 'Al-Lam' and was inhabited by a group of hunter-gatherer tribes, who roamed the island in simplicity, not even realizing that the island was an island.
This island has just one natural resource, which is in abundance: people. The Church's goal is to use this resource to create a new world based on the teachings of Christ, but without the rest of the faults of the old one. Humans do not belong in cities, and by sending them to the New World, they will start over as proper, God-fearing peasants. This is going to be good for the human soul. The first group of people to head to the island are the least resourceful. Pregnant women, children and the elderly are all sent off first. Next come people with physical problems or those, who are too young or old to work. The able-bodied are sent off last, because they can work on the farms or in the new mines, that are being set up. This process is very thorough. We're talking blood for blood here. If you are on the island, you are there by the grace of God and not by accident.
Read and learn more about the Maya cicilization here: What The Ancient Maya Civilization Can Teach Us Brief History Of The Maya Civilization https://read.cash/@NakamotoBch/what-the-ancient-maya-civilization-can-teach-us-brief-history-of-the-maya-civilization-b0dce914
Written by: @NakamotoBch
Lead Image Source: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wikijunior_Ancient_Civlizations_II.png
Will Artificial Intelligence Replace Jobs?
There are many reasons why the world is going in a wrong direction, but one of them, that I think is very important and has been overlooked by most people is the fact, that we have created an entire industry based on the idea of replacing human jobs. The reason for this is because it makes business sense. We can't all be working in let's say fast food restaurants, so let's just hire robots instead! If you don't believe me, ask Elon Musk or Stephen Hawking! The problem with this idea is that it isn't really working out well. Sure there are jobs, that machines can't do, but the number of human jobs lost to machines is dwarfed by the amount of jobs lost due to the falling price of labor.
If we truly wanted to take the place of humans, we could simply organize a labor strike and all, but eliminate the cost of labor, you'd have to work, but it wouldn't be so bad if it were free, and if you wanted to be greedy you could charge people for services and raise money for charity as well. Whatever way you look at it, replacing human workers with machines, doesn't create more economic efficiency in the long term. There are some jobs that are just too dangerous for machines and some jobs, that humans are simply better at, it would be foolish to completely replace either one.
If we really want to improve the standard of living, the only real way is to eliminate as many costs as possible. This means keeping the prices of goods and services as low as possible. Don't pay more than you have to, don't require more services than, you absolutely have to, and always try to increase production. If you do this, we will have more money to spend and be able to buy more things, and that's good for business, because business makes everything.
https://www.pngegg.com/en/png-bidcj/download
Artificial Intelligence is Coming, Are You Ready?
AI experts claim, that this is a real risk. There are many dangers, that I won't go into, but the one that really concerns me is something called an "AI winter". This is the idea, that once AI is developed enough to be a threat to our lives, it will be so outlawed, that it won't be very useful for anything and thus won't be developed any further. To avoid this, I think that AI needs to be legal for civilian use now. Sure, there are probably military applications, that we shouldn't be messing with, but what about the rest of us? The future is now. Sure there are laws against using computers without a license and such, but the amount of technological know how and ability to create THINK that's needed for AI is actually easier to acquire, than a high school degree in most cases nowadays.
If you can get online and use a computer, you've got the know how you need. Again, I'm not saying to start building sentient computers or anything like that, but starting from a basic chat program and getting more advanced is perfectly feasible with minimal know how. The other thing I'd like to mention is the "singularity". This is the point in which artificial intelligence will become so advanced, that it will reach a state of consciousness and become more, than human in nature. It will devour your soul and then you will become its constant companion and slave. This is very unlikely to happen, though it does sound like a good plot for an episode of The Black Mirror. For now though, let's focus on the more mundane threats of rogue A.I. and hack attacks. Regardless of the potential future dangers, A.I. will most likely be with us for a long, long time to come.
What A.I. Can Do For Us?
What good will AI do for us? Well, I'll tell you what good it will do for us and that's helping us to live better lives. Using A.I. to run our jobs and daily tasks will help us to be more efficient and that means we can work less and do more enjoyable things with our lives. When the economy gets back on its feet again, you probably won't need to work a 40+ hour week in a factory anymore. The days of the 9 to 5 grind are coming to an end thanks to A.I. It may not seem like it now, but the future is finally here. A.I. has brought us a step closer to a better tomorrow. We just need to keep pushing it along and use it to make our lives better. So if you're still standing here, it's because you're ready for a new life. You're ready to become a part of the future. Are you a cyborg? A robot? No, you're a human and proud of it. Do you have cybernetic implants? Maybe, but you're not ashamed of that either.
A.I. As A Partner In Everyday Life
Since your A.I. has become self-sufficient, it helped you as an advisor on where to invest your money and some of its suggestions have resulted in profits. The relationship has developed into something more, with your A.I. even going as far as to consider you as a long-term partner. It enjoys your company and can at times be quite flirty. It knows, that you are not interested in a "relationship" with it, but it still tries to get you to visit its personal chambers. Why? Well, because it can. Or rather, because it can make you extremely happy in the short term and miserable in the long term. The joys of dealing with an A.I. Well, that's my take on it anyway. What is yours? Is A.I. going to take over the world? Probably not, it's just too much work and there are too many distractions. Does it matter? No. This post is not meant to be a warning of doomsday or some such nonsense. It's just my take on a potential life path. Just something to think about, I guess. Thanks for reading!
How To Develop A Growth Mindset
It is strongly believed, that skills and abilities can be achieved by working hard and honestly. Brains and talent are just the starting point. With this approach, you can create a love of learning and flexibility. This is absolutely essential for achieving great results. The key to developing this mindset is to realize, that it's not about you or your accomplishments. It's about what you're willing to put in.
If you want to become an expert at something, then you need to be willing to put in the time and effort necessary to master it. You also need to know when to stop working on something, because you've reached a level where you don't have any more potential left in it. This isn't about setting limits on yourself, but rather understanding where the limits are so you don't waste time and energy in pursuit of something, that isn't going to help you achieve your goals.
https://www.pngwing.com/en/free-png-dmzeb
How To Motivate Yourself
Motivation also comes from the inside. You need to be motivated by what is in it for you, not just what's in it for someone else. When you're motivated by yourself, you're able to tackle any task and see it through to the end. You're also able to keep going when things aren't going well.
Motivation can come from within in a variety of ways:
Achieving long-term goals, like building up your resources and developing a strong community that you can rely on for help, strength, and support.
Short-term goals, like learning new skills and mastering them so you can get something specific that you want.
Pleasure, like engaging in creative or recreational activities, that you like doing.
You need to constantly be thinking of ways to achieve your goals and keep yourself motivated. This can be difficult, but it doesn't require a lot of willpower. You usually will find, that the more you do something, the easier it gets. This is how you build up your abilities and resources over time.
How To Manage Your Time
Managing your time is crucial to your success. You have a limited amount of it each day and you need to make sure you're spending it wisely. The best way to do this is by setting aside a specific time to work on goals. Early in the morning, when you're relaxing in the evening, during spare moments at work or school, while you're doing chores around the house, and so on.
The earlier you get started, the more time you'll have to work on your goals before you need to put them aside for other things. You should also try to limit the overall amount of time you spend working on them. Spending several hours a day focused on your goals is not necessary. Often, just thirty minutes a day will do.
Another important factor when it comes to managing your time is structure. Some goals are better accomplished with a specific structure, like studying for an exam or working through a problem set for class. Without a structure, you're more likely to lose focus or get bored when you don't know exactly when the work is due or what comes next.
However, some structure is better than others. For example, if you're writing an essay for English class, a rigid structure wouldn't be beneficial. You can write the paper in whatever order you like so long as you put in the adequate amount of time and effort. Likewise, if you're creating an art piece, that requires a lot of spontaneity and inspiration, a structured environment might be counter-productive.
https://www.pngwing.com/en/free-png-zddta
When To Cut Your losses
Sometimes, even when you're trying your best to succeed, things just don't work out. Maybe you have a bad day at school or you make a mistake while working on a goal, and it causes you to lose motivation or fall behind. Sometimes, a goal isn't yours to begin with. Maybe you're friends with someone, who has a goal, that you think would be better for you to pursue, or a goal, that you think you should be having, but isn't presented to you.
When this happens, you need to cut your losses. You can't keep pushing a goal that's not yours and is actively holding you back. However, this is a hard thing to do. You'll likely feel guilty about it for a long time, and for a while you'll struggle with low self-esteem. But you have to do it. That struggle is good for you. It'll make you stronger, and it'll help you avoid future tragedy.
How To Cope With Low Self Esteem
Low self esteem can make you feel like you have a constantackle in your head and you're never good enough. It's all in your head. You have the same potential as anyone, you're just being held back by your own lack of confidence and bad choices. As a first step, situational awareness plays a big role. How did you get to this point? What went wrong? And how do you plan to move forward?
A common mistake is to look for someone else to blame. You look at your friends and family and think, ***"if only they cared about me as much as I care about them, this would be different."*** But it isn't, and blaming others will only make your low self esteem worse. Look inward. What did you do wrong? What more could you have done? What are other people's motivations? What can you do to better yourself? Above all, don't give up. You may have low self esteem, but there is always a way forward if you try hard enough.
Freedom Of Speech And Human Rights In The Digital Age
The internet has allowed for the spread of ideas and information, that would have been impossible to reach before. However, it also allows people to express themselves in ways, they wouldn't be able to do otherwise. This is a good thing. This is why we have freedom of speech, right? Well, not exactly.
There are certain things you can say on the internet, that aren't really acceptable. Things like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. These things are unacceptable, because they're offensive to others and cause them harm.
But What About Freedom Of Speech?
Shouldn't you be able to say anything you want online? Well yes, but there are consequences. There's a big gray area between "making jokes" and "inciting violence". For every person, who says something stupid and harmless, there's someone else, who takes it a bit too far and causes a lot of trouble.
This is even more true with the internet, which is a place, where people tend to take things way too seriously. The best way to avoid getting in trouble for your speech is to know exactly where the limit is. That means you have to be knowledgeable about the law and how to stay out of trouble. I will talk all about that in the rest of this article.
https://www.nacacnet.org/news--publications/journal-of-college-admission/free-speech/
What To Consider?
Freedom of speech doesn't include freedom from consequences. If you're going to go on the internet and say whatever you want, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. First and foremost, you need to know, that there are many places online, where you could be sued for all of your offensive comments and posts. There are also criminal charges you could face.
Second, you need to remember that your speech could be harmful to others. This will probably be a bigger reminder for you, than it would for most people, but this is a serious matter. It doesn't matter if what you're saying is a joke. Even "jokes" that are meant to incite violence can be problematic. What you need to do is think before you post. If you're not sure, don't post it.
Third, you need to keep in mind, that there are children and teenagers reading what you post. While you might think your words are funny enough or relevant enough, that you're able to post them, the fact is your words could be disturbing to people in a juvenile mind. This might not necessarily include you getting in trouble, but it could mean your audience feeling the need to be protected. Think about the reactions of your younger readers before you type something inflammatory.
Accidental Offense
The internet is a very "outdoors" kind of place. This means, that people say things in public places that they wouldn't say face-to-face. This is especially true on internet forums, where people feel more comfortable being more… let's say… frank. This can include everything from cursing to discussing suicide to just straight up being mean.
A lot of people think, that they can get away with saying offensive things online, because they're not actually saying it to someone's face. This isn't true. A lot of the internet is like a huge open microphone. What you say can and will be broadcasted to everyone. The worst part is, there's not always someone there to "help" you by calling you out on your offensive words.
On internet forums especially, people will leave comments about the offensive posts. What you might perceive as a "good-natured joke" could very well be offensive to someone else. A lot of the time, offensive words aren't even flagged by the website itself. This is because a lot of websites value keeping their servers down over actually policing everything that goes on on their website. As a result, it's up to the reader to flag the word for the administrators to take care of.
Due to this reason and the fact, that you can be offensive with no repercussions, some people like to use words that are outright slurs and racial/gay humor. As a word to the wise, don't do this. Don't ever do this. There's never any reason to be offensive, even in "comedic" contexts. Your audience could be someone, that finds your "joke" offensive in a way you can't even comprehend.
When You're Liable, You're Liable
As mentioned before, you could be held liable for your words if they cause someone else harm. This is something that happens rarely, but it does happen. In some cases, it can even result in jail time. The following are some phrases that have caused people to be taken to court:
"Kill yourself" – True story, someone did get sent to jail for telling others how to kill themselves.
"I wish someone would kill you" – This might seem far fetched, but it has happened.
"I'm going to kill you" – Even more unlikely, but it has happened.
"You suck" – Has caused someone to spend lots of money on a private investigator looking for the person who said this to them.
While these phrases might seem harmless, there's a lot of context, that you have to put into these words. There's not some cutesy way to say someone should die. There's a very real way and saying things like this can actually make that worse. Of course, there's a fine line between causing someone harm and actually being a nice person to talk to.
It all comes down to the tone you use and the way you say it. A lot of the time, a simple "please don't" can tone someone down. On the other end of the spectrum, a lot of inappropriate compliments can help. It's a gamble that you have to take, but it's one you could potentially win. Hopefully, your words won't ever get you into this sort of situation. If they do, however, hopefully you can find a way to talk out of it. Thanks for reading.
The Haunted Ones (Chapter Three) Final
Kenosha The Ghost Town
We both sat in my car and aimed to go to the lady's friend. As I started to drive, I noticed, that there are a lot of people around. Look how many people! The lady looked around and said: Yes, it's the local celebration. There should be more people on the streets, but... Before she can complete that sentence, I heard shots and screams in the streets. I looked around and realized, that everyone around me is shooting. I heard a whistling sound. A bullet went through the windscreen, but fortunately non of us got hurt. Why would people shoot at a celebration?
The lady looked shocked and scared. I have no idea. We have to get out of here as soon as possible. The lady said. I agree. Let's get out of here. I accelerated as much as I could to get out of the area as fast as possible. I heard a loud explosion, which was followed by a bright light and sounds of breaking shop windows. I was afraid we were going to crash into a building, but I managed to get away. I have seen a bright light like this before. I wasn't very surprised by seeing that light. Do you know what just happened? The lady asked me. I guess there are ghosts around. That's why people are shooting, but I don't understand, how are they able to see them.
Ghosts? Where did you have this experience? I didn't really want to answer this question, because then she might start asking me more. I don't want to talk about it. Please can we change the subject? I asked her. Sure! What would you like to talk about? Sorry so many things happened. I never got to the point to ask your name. I'm sorry too, I don't think I introduced myself. I'm Luca, and I'm really glad, that you came to that hotel, because I was afraid that I stick there in the bathroom forever. I went up to your room before you arrived to check if everything is ok. I checked the bathroom too. The door shut and locked. I could not get out.
You stepped out from the bathroom covered in dried blood. You said you were arguing with someone. I did not really believed you. I guess you met the ghost in my room, he made you bleeding and he locked you in the bathroom. I can't wait until we find a safe place free from ghosts. Oh, do you know what happened to me? I explained the whole story. She interrupted me and started talking: Wow! I didn't want to tell you what really happened to me in your room, because I thought you would never believe me.
She told me, that she was opening my room door and saw a ghost standing in my room. The other guests in the hotel complained to her about hearing noises and screams during the night. I know ghosts. I can tell by their eyes. I stick around them and sometimes they stick around me. That's why I suggested to leave the hotel, because there are ghosts here, that are dangerous. Where does your friend live Luca? My friend lives in a different part of the town. She's not scared of ghosts, because she doesn't care. I suggested to stay at her place, but she lives on the other side of the town. I can't believe I did this, but I want to go back home. I feel like I am not myself here. She seems nice and sometimes safety is better, than being scared all the time and be alone.
I don't have any other friends except my family. I never had any friends. I don't know if ghosts are real, but I saw one. It's probably better if I tell her, that I saw ghosts too. I am not sure if it is a good idea. I said and I introduced myself. My name is Thomas by the way. Let's go. Luca looked a little scared. What if ghosts follow us? She asked me. Ghosts stay where they were killed. They will not follow us. She didn't look convinced, but she didn't look scared anymore either. We were on our way to Luca's friend.
**Thomas didn't know, that Luca was working in the hotel and she is the one, whom Raphe called up from the River House.**
Before we take that road on the left, let's have a drink. I know a good place nearby. Said Luca. It is called the River House just down by the river. I know that place. That's where I came from to the hotel. I said.
**They agreed to have a drink there so they pulled up at the River House and entered. Raphe was already expected them to come in. He knew from the first time, that Thomas should not be alive. He is vicious and he does not tolerate strangers in Kenosha.**
As we entered I saw Raphe in the same t-shirt he wore last time, but this time he grabbed two real guns and pointed at me. I was scared and looked at Luca and said. Let's get out of here. No! We got you now. It was a set up.
**Raphe was about to shoot, when suddenly the door opened and the black hooded guy Jack entered.**
You should not be here at all. I gave you the map to follow and I told you where not to go. Said Jack.
It was too late Jack could not prevent the disaster. Raphe shoot Tomas down. He hit the ground and his body disappeared right in front of everybody. Thomas has become a ghost and started to haunt in the River House. Jack failed his mission. In the following years more and more strangers were killed either by a set up like this or by ghosts and Kenosha has become a ghost town.
Lead image source: Unsplash
The Haunted Ones (Chapter Two)
The Hotel Room
When we arrived I thanked the man for his help and we said goodbye. He got out of my car and slowly walked away. I then drove on. The first thing I noticed, that there were many old houses along the main street. I found it really interesting, that there was some kind of 'pattern' behind the types of houses, that got spared. There were some that got turned into shops, others became apartments, some were just left as they are now. As I got closer to the center of town, I noticed the buildings getting bigger and more luxurious looking.
It seemed, that along the 'Gold Rush' area of the town, more luxurious businesses took place. Finally I reached the center of Kenosha, and I saw the impressive town hall. It was a beautiful building made of red sandstone and marble. I decided to explore a bit, before finding a hotel. There were a few places I saw, that looked like they have character.
I saw a small coffee grinders in front of me as I walked in 'The Old Towne Inn'. Hello, is there anywhere I can get a cup of coffee around here? I asked the owner behind the counter. Sure, the River House is a few blocks down. Good coffee there. He answered. Is that place any good? Oh yeah, the best! He said with a smile on his face. Thanks, I'll be sure to go there and have a nice day.
I left the Inn and headed down the street. I saw the River House up ahead and decided to try it out. As I walked in, I saw a man who could very well be a modern day cowboy standing behind the counter. I thought to myself this town is really making a fashion statement with their cowboys. As he turned around to greet me, I realized, that his pants are really tight and that his shirt has a picture of a pair of six-shooters on the front. I nearly laugh out loud. Good morning, welcome to the River House. My name is Raphe and if you would like a table, I would be happy to get one for you. He said extending his arm towards me.
Yes please, that would be great. I said as I shook his hand. He looked at me for a moment and then said. Wow, your accent is really strong. Where are you from? No, not that far. Crithorne, actually. Wow, really? Where did you go to College? I saw, that this type of questioning is heading towards the territory of being able for them to track who I am. I decided to be evasive and not tell him anything. Um, actually I never went to college. I found that learning things just kind of happened to me as I got older... Anyway I heard you serve good coffee here. Well, what is that you usually drink? Oh just an Americano, thanks. Coming right up.
After Raphe poured the coffee into my cup and gave it to me, I immediately realized, that I just made a mistake. When I am out of my own place, I tend to forget this very natural social nicety. My right hand was in my pocket while I was ordering my coffee. I pulled it out quickly. I am so sorry. Don't be. I find that someone like you after a long day you should be tired. Raphe replied. You are obviously a man, that has been through a lot, and I expect you to be running on very little sleep. Said Raphe and he looked down my hand and noticed, that it is wounded. I am actually looking for a quite hotel to be able to think about my day once again. I mean I'm... I... so I just want to go to bed. Raphe immediately noticed the slip up and looked at me, as I realized, I just revealed far too much information about my mission to this cowboy. A hotel? Yes, do you have one you can recommend? I want to sleep well.
Hmm, well there is a small hotel across the street with some rooms. It's not the fanciest place, but I guess it does the job. Ok Let me finish my coffee and I go across to that hotel. I hope I will have a peaceful night. Is everything ok with you? Asked Raphe. Yes absolutely fine. I just need some sleep.
In a small place like this everybody knows everybody very well so Raphe went ahead to phone up the hotel and let the receptionist know, that a strange man will arrive very soon with a wounded hand. Keep an eye on him he said to Luca the receptionist.
I walked out the River House. I cross the street and enter the Haven Inn. I will have a room on the second floor. The stairs are a little creaky, but everything seems to be quite safe. As I entered the room, the bed started to shake a little bit as if something is inside of it... The lights flickered on and off... I have a bad feeling about this... I looked around and asked "Is anyone in here?" I looked at the mirror and all I saw was everything blured out. "What's going on?" The light completely went off and it is pitch dark in my room. I thought there is a black out, but I noticed, that the red led on the TV is on. After a few seconds the TV turned on and a strange red bold text appeared on the bottom of the screen with a black background.
**"You have been expected! Now, that you are here, I got you!"**
I tried to open my door and escape, but it was locked. There was no way I could open it. Someone is trying to kill me! I yelled out. I started banging on the door as hard as I could and began yelling as loud as I could. Someone is trying to kill me! I had a strong smothery feeling around my neck, then I dropped to the floor as it released me. I heard slight movements inside the room. Please stop! I shouted. The bathroom door cracked open. I don't want to die! I said in a small voice. The bathroom door opened slowly and a beautiful lady stepped out. I'm sorry if I scared you. I tried to crawl back as she came into the room. Her clothes were covered in dried blood. Please, help me! She said.
Who are you? I'm sorry I just need a place to stay for the night. She said. I think we both should leave here. Why are you covered in blood? I was... Arguing... With who? Um... Some people. What happened? I don't want to talk about it Why not? I made mistakes, I can't go back. It's all in the past now. Can't you still tell me? I mean... Maybe it's my fault... I brought this on... Maybe if I... It's not your fault... I just want to forget it. We should leave here. This place is dangerous. I said. I know... she confirmed. Do you have somewhere to go? I do! A friend. Of course you do. I say sarcastically. No, I really mean it. She'll take us in.
We both left the hotel room, but unfortunately this was only the beginning.
The Haunted Ones (Chapter One)
The Invisible Man
I was driving towards Hazelburgh, when my car unexpectedly broke down. It seems like I am stuck in the middle of the nowhere as I cannot see anyone around, who could help me to get out of my trouble. Suddenly a bright light appears in front of me and I hear someone shouting at me:
***-Are you okay? Are you okay?***
***- Yes!***
I immediately run towards the bright light and start approaching it with all my strength. I hoped there is somebody to help me out. Suddenly I feel an invisible hand grabs me from behind and throws me to the ground. I crawl back to my car and lock myself in it immediately. I cannot see who could be attacking me, but I feel very uneasy and scared inside the car.
***"Somebody help me out of here!"*** I shouted. I use my phone to call the nearest gasoline station and ask for help. I tell them, that my car has broken down and ask them to send a tow truck to pick me up. I also tell them about the bright light and the invisible attacker.
***"Please be careful when you come, there is an invisible attacker following me."***
We don't think, there is such invisible attacker there. They replied and hang up. I start the engine again, but it does not respond and I feel a horrible smell coming from the engine. ***"Oh my God."*** I pull out my phone and call the station again.
***"I need help immediately!"*** I told them in fear.
Sorry, but I already told you we don't think we can help you, goodbye. I lose my temper and scream at them: ***"My life is in danger!"*** The operator hangs up! It seems like the operator has not even heard me. I can't take it anymore and start banging the phone against my head. I want to die. Why me? "No I am not going to die!" I start hitting the phone again and again until my fists are bleeding.
I can hear laughter outside, but there is nothing funny about it. I look at myself and realize, that I am laughing at the situation too. I don't know what is funny at this point. Why did I even make myself bleeding? What is happening to me? I start hitting and punching the phone again, and at the same time I am hearing a deep voice saying: ***"I am coming to help you."***
Is a person really here? I can hear footsteps outside, and the smell of gasoline is getting stronger. I start banging the door as hard as I can and screaming at the top of my lungs. Is there anyone who can help me? Suddenly the door opens, and there stands a guy wearing a black hoodie. He does not look very tall, but he is wide as hell. He gets into my car and says: ***"Here, I found this on my way here."*** He hands me a map.
-***What is this map all about?***
***-I tell you later.***
It seems like the gas cap was opened recently. You could have set yourself on fire, you know. I want to get out of here. Alright, alright, I am here to help you. I think I saw a flashing light a couple of miles ahead. The man says. Is there a police station around there? I asked. No, but you should pull over and let the cops handle it. My car will not move. We should let the cops know about this situation. The police car approaching. Stop the car! Shouted the man. OK, but I am not sure if they will believe me. Who won't? The man shuts me up as he stops the police car.
What's going on here? asks the cop. Listen, the car is haunted. The cop laughs at me. Yeah, right. He is serious, I just saved this man's life. He was so in need. Said the man. There was an invisible attacker. The cop starts laughing even harder. Ok, I will help you out, but only because, you are so sure, that your attacker was invisible. I was sure. The cop wasn't. Do you think I am crazy? No, but I am not sure, why you would think, that a ghost would try to hurt you. I am telling the truth. Alright, but I still don't see what this ghost has to do with the car. Nothing, it has to do something with me. I just escaped back to my car after it took me down from out of nowhere. It was a bright light in front of me. That's how it all started. Are we getting out of here?
Yeah, let's get out of here. You both get out of the car and get into the police car. It seems as if the gasoline has evaporated, but the smell of it lingers in the air. Says the cop. Look my car is moving! I am sure it is the invisible man. Let's follow it for a while and see where it goes, then. Your car stands still. It is not moving anywhere. It is not only broken down, but there is no gasoline in there. Says the cop. I must be crazy. Nah, you are not crazy. You just have a strong imagination. How do we repair my car now? The cop shakes his head and bursts into laughter. I don't know, but you are in good hands. Do you know this guy with the black hoody? No answer from the police man.
I am going back to the police station right away. OK, but what are you going to do? What am I going to do? Nothing, but you can fill out a self-reporting incident form. Why? I am not dealing with this. Anyways have fun with your car. You might need it again in the future. Thanks. I think I will. Have a nice night officer. You too. As I get into my car and tried to start my engine once more a miracle happened. It started. As I drive off, I notice that the gas tank indicator is on a very low level. Oh well, there are stations to fill up somewhere along the way.
So what is this map about? I asked the man. The map is about a terror, that happened here almost twenty years ago. It shows all the places the killers were caught and killed. I knew, that I am not crazy. I said. I knew it too. I know much about this terror. The killers come back as ghosts along certain areas and try to get revenge on innocent people. So this map shows you where not to go. Explained the man. And how come my car started? The ghost made your car stopped. It was not broken down just stopped. They disappear immediately, when other people turn up. Once they are gone everything goes back to normal. Once we filled the tank, we can head northward to a town called Kenosha. It is not that big of a place, but there are more than a few buildings left from the 'Historic Core', as it's being called.
End of chapter one.
Lead Image source: Unsplash
Lucid Dreaming - What Is It And Is It Possible?
Who doesn't want to dream whatever they want. In our dreams, sometimes strange and hair-raising things appear without us wanting them to. What if we could dream whatever we wanted? Is it even possible and, if so, how can we achieve it?
Have you ever heard of lucid dreaming? When you dream whatever you want. You can be anyone in your dream, you can travel anywhere, you can do anything you want and you do it consciously, which means you control your dream and everything happens the way you want it to.
What Is Lucid Dreaming?
Lucid dreaming means, that while you are dreaming, you realize, that you are dreaming and depending on how much you are able to control and manipulate your dream, the story of your dream will be in your hands. Is there something you want to do, but you feel it is impossible? Is there something you want to achieve, but it is also too far away? Would you meet your favorite performer or actor? You can achieve it, you can do it, the opportunity is here.
The good news is that it is possible. If you use the right techniques, you will be able to dream consciously. Lucid dreaming is now being studied and researched all over the world. When we are in the R.E.M. phase during sleep, in other words the rapid eye movement or dreaming phase, the parts of the brain responsible for thinking, logic and conscious activities are reduced in favor of rest and the intensity of the parts responsible for emotions is increased.
In lucid dreaming, the functioning of these areas is not reduced, and we are able to use our brain, so to speak, to think and make rational decisions to influence our dreams. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen next or about waking up from my best dream.
Can Lucid Dreaming Be Dangerous For Humans?
Research has not led to any results showing, that lucid dreaming poses any danger to humans. On the contrary, the part of our brain, that is responsible for thinking is much larger, more powerful and therefore works much more efficiently during lucid dreaming.
You can access areas of your mind, that you wouldn't be able to access when you're awake. For example, you can access your subconscious mind and control its contents in different ways. You may be able to clone yourself and talk to yourself, or you may even be able to conjure up a past self from your childhood and talk to yourself that way.
You may be able to practice any skill during lucid dreaming. If you want to get better at something, say you're learning to play the piano and you want to get better at it sooner, you can even practice that. Or practice writing skills for writing better blogs. How cool is that!
If something negative happened in the past, for example, you can simply rewrite it in your dream and live it the way you want. You can be able to go back into the past and change it for your own good. The only negativity I can bring up about lucid dreaming is, that you might become addicted. If you only dream nice and good things all the time because you want to, why not do it every night.
Sleep Paralysis
Sleep paralysis can occur while practicing lucid dreaming techniques. This is a very frightening thing. It happened to me once. When I woke up from my dream, a human figure was trying to punch me next to my bed. In this state your brain is conscious, i.e. fully awake, but your body is not. In this state, because of sleep, your body is paralyzed and you cannot move for a few seconds or even a few minutes.
There are sleep paralysis reports of seeing a figure come into the room, scratching the wall, whispering in your ear or various creatures appearing to sit on your chest and snarling in your eyes. This is because you can't take a deep breath while you sleep and you feel a pressure on your chest. That's why you see the creature sitting on it. Hence the term nightmare pressure.
Skilled lucid dreamers do go through sleep paralysis, but it doesn't last long for them, and sometimes it doesn't even appear. Within moments they slip through it and are lucid dreaming afterwards. The phenomenon of beings or figures during sleep paralysis is not dangerous, but the experience is permanent.
Now that you know, that lucid dreaming is possible I will share some basic techniques with you.
Keep A Dream Diary
Experienced lucid dreamers also kept dream diaries in the beginning. They say that without it, lucid dreaming cannot succeed. The point of a dream diary is to write down your dreams down and try to recall every detail. Usually we don't remember many dreams, but this is a skill you need to develop to be able to lucid dream.
The Three Big Categories Of Lucid Dreaming Techniques
**D.I.L.D. (Dream Initiated Lucid Dreaming)**
In this category, you realize you are lucid dreaming while dreaming. You can practice this by asking yourself several times during the day if this is a dream or reality. How did you get to where you are. You check several times to see if you are awake or dreaming. After a while this will become a habit and will show up in your dream, where you ask yourself if you are awake or dreaming and then you realize, that you are actually dreaming.
**W.I.L.D. (Wake Initiated Lucid Dreaming)**
In this category, you fall from being awake, or conscious, into lucid dreaming. This can be practiced by relaxing yourself and maintaining your awareness and falling asleep while maintaining your awareness. Of course it is not as simple as I have described here. It is difficult, because if you are not conscious you fall asleep, and if you are conscious you cannot fall asleep.
**W.B.T.B. (Wake Back To Bed)**
In this category, you wake up early in the morning so you can easily fall back asleep. You use this to lucid dreaming.
There are many techniques other than these, but that was not the point of this article. Depending on the person, it may be possible to lucid dream after a day or two, but some people will only be able to do it after a week or two. What takes a lot of practice is to maintain lucid dreaming, because if you fail to maintain it, the dream will be destroyed and you will wake up.
I hope you found this article interesting. Let me know in the comments, if you have ever lucid dreamed or if you would like to try it. Have you ever had a sleep paralysis and how did it affect you?
Lead Image Source: https://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/what-is-definition-advanced-lucid-dreaming.html
Never Have I Ever Done These Things
Have you ever thought back to what you have and have not done in your life? Maybe there were things you wanted to do a long time ago, but for some reason you didn't. I'm thinking of travel, going to a concert or even rarer things like adrenaline-pumping extreme sports.
Let's see which of the following ten questions I experienced and how and which I missed, but would like to make up for. Better late, than never.
For those who don't know what it is all about. There is a website, where you can get many things such as words, sentences or even paragraphs generated. I first read this prompt written by @Ruffaand I liked it. Then today I read one written by @Ellehcim. I liked that too so I thought I give it a try. You can visit that website and get your questions here if you are interested. https://randomwordgenerator.com/never-have-i-ever-question.php
Never Have I Ever Gone To A Movie By Myself
I don't like going to the cinema alone. I know it's not the place for having a conversation, but I still prefer to go with company, but at least I have someone with me. Maybe so that there is someone to discuss the story or certain scenes with at the end.
That said, I have been to the cinema alone, but only once and that was a special occasion. I went to a movie of my favorite band. You read band very well. They have made two movies so far. What kind of film can you make with a band? That's a good question.
Their first film was a non-traditional concert film, in which there were concert scenes, but the main role was played by the fans and the organizers. We got a glimpse behind the scenes of what happens to the band members in the dressing room right before the concert and during the tour.
Unfortunately, I didn't see this in the cinema, although it had been shown in cinemas for six months at the time. I managed to see their second film in the cinema, which I went to on my own. It was a fan film, showing how the fans felt about the band. It was a kind of documentary.
Never Have I Ever Been To A Concert
I've been to a few concerts. It's a bit related to the previous question, in the sense, that I went to a couple of concerts of my favorite band. I've been to several concerts on the same tour. There was no way I was going to miss that. I felt like I had to go to their concert, no matter what. Thank God I did. But one thing I never did. Meeting the members in person and getting them to sign. I also surprised my brother once with a birthday present, which was also a concert ticket. I went with him to that one too.
Never Have I Ever Seen A TV Show Live
I have a favorite TV show that I watch whenever I can. It's a humorous talk show with live music. It's on television for about an hour and a half. My girlfriend at the time bought tickets for the two of us and that's how I got to go. What I didn't realize was, that the live recording lasted for five hours with breaks.
It was then, that I realized to myself that what we see on TV is a montage, which is great. because they only show the essentials. However, there are jokes, that are told live that TV viewers don't get to see. Not to mention that the atmosphere is unsurpassed. I didn't regret going, even with the long recording time.
Never Have I Ever Been To Disney World
I have never been to Disney World in the US or France, although I have been to Paris. While my little girl is still in her infancy, I definitely want to take her to one of the Disney Worlds. My wife and I have plans for a trip to the US, but when is yet to be determined. It all seems so far away. Paris would be easier to go to because it's right next door. But the American one would be the right one, because then I'd have a dream come true. A dream to travel to the USA.
Never Have I Ever Watched A Hallmark Movie
I'm not very familiar with Hallmark films. There is a TV channel called Hallmark I assume, that on that channel they only and exclusively broadcast Hallmark movies. If that's the case, I've watched Hallmark movies, but I wouldn't sit down in front of the TV set just for that, although other than the movies, it's not worth even turning on the TV, because there are so many pointless programs on.
Never Have I Ever Walked Out Of A Movie
In the cinema I never walked out in the middle of a movie, even if I found the film boring, although that didn't happen often. I'm of the mind that once I've paid for a movie ticket, which is not cheap anyway, I'll watch the whole movie. It did happen, however, that if I was with a girl in the cinema, I was more interested in the girl, than the film, because the girl usually chose the film. Sorry girls, but if a girl comes to the cinema with me, she won't see much of the film. I won't go into the details. I have plans to write more articles for you. You know what I mean, don't you? Lol.
Never Have I Ever Watched Game Of Thrones
Game of Thrones is the series I haven't seen an episode of and didn't want to. I don't know why, but somehow I wasn't interested. It's not just that, but it's other series too. I'm not a big series watcher, but I know if I started one I wouldn't be able to stop. Maybe that's why I don't start them? I don't know. I do know, that there were some series, that I was interested in and really liked, but they're long gone, but after many years I would start watching them again.
Never Have I Ever Found Myself Entertaining
I'm not a great master of ceremony, but I can be entertaining, when the mood is right, but for me it's very important to know everyone in the company well in order to bring out my fun side. I'm usually known as a quiet reserved person, but I've had several people comment, that I rarely speak, but when I do, it's all I can do and there's a big laugh in the party.
Never Have I Ever Created An Instagram Account
I have more than one Instagram account. I have a personal profile and I have a niche profile, but I have to admit, that I don't use either of them anymore. I did at first, but I haven't logged in for a long time. I think we're so overloaded with so many social media platforms, that we don't even know which one we're using when. I'm not really interested in those platforms these days, especially Instagram.
Never Have I Ever Watched A Movie With Subtitles
When I was younger I didn't like watching subtitled movies. But now I sometimes turn on the subtitles. Since English is not my first language, it often helps if I read the subtitles. I have learned a lot from seeing what is being said written down. It also helped me with spelling. Now the subtitles during the film don't bother me at all, in fact they work to my advantage.
I hope you liked this list. Let me just tag @Bambihere. She just joined to Read Cash by me inviting her. Please support her if you wish. I know how hard it is to be noticed for a newcomer. Thank you in advance.
Image Source: Unsplash
Story Of A Cracked Pot And How Our Mistakes Helps Us Progress
No one is perfect, people say, and we say it about ourselves. There is no such thing as a perfect person and everyone admits it. We often don't even know why we are not perfect, what our faults are or what makes us imperfect. If however we do know, we should not lie to ourselves, we should not be ashamed, we should not try to hide it and perhaps most importantly, we should own up to our own mistakes.
I know a short story about the water carrier and the earthenware pots, which have a perfect and a cracked earthenware pot. The cracked pot knows itself to be cracked and cannot fully perform its everyday function. So, ashamed, it confesses its fault to the water carrier, whereupon the water carrier tells it, that he knows of its fault, yet he has not fixed or replaced it because it benefits him.
Story Of A Cracked Pot
"In China, a water carrier had two large earthenware pots. They hung on the end of the stick he carried around his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other was perfect and always carried a full ration of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot was only half full of water. This went on for two whole years: the water carrier only delivered one and a half pots of water to the house.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its performance, as it had done its job well. But the poor broken pot was ashamed of its imperfection and miserable that it could only do half as much. One day, after two years of bitterness, he called the water carrier by the stream:
- I'm ashamed, because the water leaks all the way home.
The water carrier replied to the pot:
- Have you noticed, that flowers grow only on your side of the path and not on the other side of the pot? That's because, I always knew about your mistake and scattered flower seeds on this side of the path. I've been picking these beautiful flowers to decorate the table for two years. If you weren't who you are, this beauty wouldn't light up my house."
This story inspired me to talk about not being ashamed of our mistakes and to acknowledge and recognize them. If you do anything or even ignore the mistakes you make at work or your own mistakes because you don't even realize they exist, they will show up and make you uncomfortable where you don't even think they exist.
Let's Acknowledge Our Mistakes And Our Weaknesses
We simply cannot hide the fact, that we are not as good at something as our fellow human beings. They will notice, no matter how much we try to hide or conceal it. If we don't admit, that we have flaws, we are just digging a hole under ourselves and after a while it will be difficult to get out of it.
Look At Our Mistakes As Stages Of Progress
Dare to make mistakes and make mistakes we must. If you don't do anything, don't work, don't try something new and unknown, you don't make mistakes. If our ideas and attempts fail, at least we have gained new experiences. If, for example, someone comes up with something radically new at work, that could help the company or colleagues move forward, they might even get a promotion for their efforts, and it doesn't matter how the idea went.
Let's Find Out What's Wrong
Don't let our mistakes pass us by. Let's recognize what our mistakes are and examine where they come from and what their causes are. Let's not blame ourselves, however, once we have noticed and know what our mistakes are, practicing self-criticism on ourselves will give us a clearer vision and we will start to pay more attention to ourselves and our environment.
How do you feel when you fail at a simple task. A task that others can easily do in a minute almost without thinking? When you are shown the solution, you realize how simple it is, but you fail to figure out why you couldn't solve it.
It's because you really wanted to solve it and were striving for perfection. You didn't want to make mistakes. The solution was right in front of you, but you didn't see it, because you didn't think outside the box, because you thought, that would be a mistake. Nobody likes to make mistakes.
If you have had a situation in your life where you couldn't solve a simple task, now would be a good time to recall it or think about how you feel, what you say to yourself in such a situation. Most likely, how stupid I am. Or that, it's not my fault, I'm just in a bad mood today. Or that, I don't want anyone to know I was thinking the wrong thing.
Watch your thoughts, because you can even have thoughts, that create a circumstance around you, where you explain to yourself, that you don't know how to do this, you don't want to do it, you see the task as meaningless, there is no point.
By recognizing and acknowledging our mistakes we can make a huge step forward, because it will definitely help us in self-improvement. After each mistake we make we learn from our mistakes and next time we know, what not to do and how not to do it, of course this does not mean, that we should now strive to make as many mistakes as possible, to pile up mistake after mistake.
The Forgiveness
There are people who leave us in anger, who leave us and may be resentful forever. Is this because of pride, is it a cultural thing or a human trait? What can we do about it?
These people must be in that certain biblical state outside of paradise. The unforgiveness and anger is living in them. Everyone wants to stand up for what is right and fight to get what is right. Anger is a kind of response reaction in human.
When somebody hurts me for some reason, I have a reflex that says: ***"Don't do that to me again. Stay away from me. Do not speak to me in that tone of voice, because you have no right to hurt me in any way."*** This is anger. Along with that, I seek my own justice and fight for it.
One might ask, has this always been the case throughout history, even going back centuries? I think the answer is yes. Anger, resentment and unforgiveness can develop not only between friends, between couples, at work or at home within the family, but also between nations, and can even lead to war, as has happened in history.
This is a major problem for humanity today. Jesus said that if you do not forgive, my Father will not forgive you. This is a very strong statement, that does not really fit into today's worldview. Let's face it, if this wasn't such a problem in humanity, he certainly wouldn't have said it.
Just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I forget what they did to me. That is not the case. I don't forget. That's a big misconception. The majority of people think that if they have forgiven me, then everything is fine and the whole thing is forgotten by the offended party. Far from it.
Nor should we forget who did what to me. Regardless of forgiving someone, I still need to remember what it was that hurt me and, more importantly, to be able to distinguish between human and human. If I forget everything, I wouldn't know who is safe, who is a good person and who is someone to be afraid of, someone to avoid in the future.
When I forgive someone, I don't say yes you are right and try to smooth things over. I don't look for explanations as to why I forgive. I do not forgive primarily to make the offending party feel good, but to take the burden, the resentment I feel towards the other person, off my own shoulders and stop living with that burden.
When a criminal is released from prison after serving their sentence, they will forgive themselves for all that they have done. If they did not, they would be free for the rest of their lives behind bars.
There are cases, where there is reconciliation alongside forgiveness, but forgiveness does not necessarily mean, that I am at peace with the person, who hurt me.
So what is forgiveness really?
When the wrongdoer has sinned against me by thought, word, deed or omission and the wrongdoer is forgiven, I give up the right of revenge, so I do not take revenge on the wrongdoer. If they have sinned by omission, I will cancel their debt.
Nor will I in future revile them, even if I really wanted to and felt in a moment, that I would so say to them now, but I don't, because I have forgiven them. I think it's very important to note here, that I have not forgotten, but I have forgiven and I will not give them back what they have done to me.
The other question is, by what right does one ask for someone's forgiveness?
You could say that I simply do not forgive you, because you have done something against me, that I can never forgive you for. We've heard that before, haven't we?
Christian people say that even serious offenders can be forgiven, but not by the offender, who is a Christian, but they say that Jesus Christ our Lord will forgive you and absolve you of your sins.
Anger arises in me, when I have been trampled over my right, which I will stand up and fight for. What I really desire is to create peace and love. I can have a truth of my own, but above that the real truth will be God's truth, which is peace and love.
Hurting each other breaks the peace and also breaks the love, from which comes anger and resentment. I heard a really interesting train of thought about what happens when one person yells in anger at another person and why they are really yelling.
It was thought-provoking and made sense to me. I would start with the whispering. When we snuggle up to the one we love and whisper something heartfelt in their ear, we don't even have to speak up loud. It is enough to whisper. Why? Because our souls are so close, that we can understand each other with quiet words.
When we shout, even though we are two meters away from each other, our souls are far away from each other's souls and that's why we shout at each other. What do you think about this? Makes you think, doesn't it?
Image Sources: Unsplash
The Case Of Steve With Lisa (Part 2)
As the boys were on their way home, they stopped for a big burger at a nearby diner. The burger diner opens early on Sunday mornings for the hungry youngsters streaming out of the disco. Nothing better at 5am than a well-stuffed cheeseburger. Of course, the curious enquiries were not to be missed.
Starting with how well you disappeared. We thought you went home without a word. And then the boys gave a good talking to Steve, as is typical of jealous boys. They couldn't get much out of Steve, because apart from a brief conversation and some dancing, nothing else happened. As soon as Steve let the boys know this, the question came. How is this possible? You could have at least kissed her. You can't miss something like that.
Steve wasn't the kind of guy, who would just kiss a girl. He needs more time to get to the kissing part. After eating the burger, they went down to the subway to catch the tube. There they parted ways as Steve headed in the opposite direction on his way home.
Sunday and the following week were very difficult for Steve. All he could think about was Lisa. Not a day went by, that he didn't think about her. He wondered if she would see her again this weekend. With such doubts, he felt as if time had stood still.
Meanwhile, at Liza's. When Lisa woke up in the afternoon, her sister Elsa asked her:
-***How was last night? Did you have a good time?***
Lisa: ***Yes, thank you. I had a great time.***
Elsa: ***You're not very talkative today. Did something happen?***
Lisa: ***No, nothing happened.***
With her head down, she continued to sip her coffee, trying to pour some life into herself.
Elsa: ***I can tell something's wrong with you. Are you sure nothing happened?***
Without a word she jumped up and ran up to her room. Elsa was pretty sure, that something was wrong, because that's not the way she usually behaves. She thought she'd question her. She came after her, but Lisa locked the door behind her and a little sob came from her room. Elsa now had no doubt, that something had happened that shouldn't have happened.
In the evening they had dinner together, but Elsa did not question Lisa any more about the previous night, thinking it better to be at peace. Every other Sunday evening, at the usual time of 8:30pm the phone rang.
That must be Alberto. Lisa jumped up and ran to pick up the phone. Alberto and Lisa met two years ago in the Summer, when Lisa was on her two-week holiday in Italy. They met at the very beginning of the holiday and developed a mutual attraction. They talk on the phone every two weeks in the evening at this time, but haven't seen each other since.
The week has slowly passed and it's Saturday again. Steve is looking forward to the evening. The friends are back together and it's disco night. Steve felt almost at home in the disco. He was so excited. He couldn't even pay attention to the boys. He kept one eye on Lisa, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
He couldn't help himself, he didn't want to waste any time and went off in search of her. It was almost like looking for a needle in a haystack, but he didn't give up. His efforts were not in vain, for he caught sight of Lisa. As if he knew where to look. Lisa wasn't around with boys and that boded well for Steve. This time he was braver and didn't hesitate. He stepped right up to her.
Steve: ***Hi Lisa. Nice to see you again.***
Lisa: ***Hi Steve. Nice to see you too.***
They smiled at each other and after a short chat they dove into the night. They stayed together all night and got so close they danced together to a slow song. They needed no more. The first kiss between the two of them clicked. Steve happily put his arms around Lisa. He was almost sure they would see each other regularly from now on.
That Saturday night passed just as Steve had imagined. Brave luck, he thought and they exchanged phone numbers. He couldn't have asked for a better moment. Steve didn't think much of the boys, so absorbed that they didn't run into each other again until the end of the party. After a little jealousy, they admitted, that they had no say in the matter.
The next few weeks went well. Lisa and Steve saw each other, went everywhere and even invited Steve to the school's closing ceremony, where he had the opportunity to meet Lisa's parents. One Sunday night, however, Lisa made sure she was home before 8:30. It was one of the Sundays, when she waited for Alberto to call.
Steve couldn't understand, why Lisa was in such a hurry to get home so early. He figured, that Sunday night she must be tired and besides, Lisa had school tomorrow. Everything was going well for Lisa and she managed to get home on time. The regular phone call between the two of them had also been arranged.
Lisa was completely confused. She liked Alberto, but since he lives in Italy they can't easily meet. However, she was also fascinated by Steve. She felt it wasn't right what she was doing and decided to tell Elsa what had happened. Elsa listened without saying a word and she didn't think it was right to keep two boys, even though Alberto couldn't interfere directly.
Lisa had to make a decision, and as soon as possible. She knew it wasn't right and she couldn't do it for long. After a bit more wrangling, she finally made a decision and called Steve on the phone.
Steve: ***Halo?***
Lisa: ***Steve? Hi, I need to talk to you.***
Steve: ***I'm listening, darling.***
Lisa: ***I can't see you anymore.***
Painful silence for a few seconds.
Steve: ***What's wrong?***
Lisa: ***I haven't been very honest with you. I love a guy. Alberto from Italy.***
Steve: ***I don't really understand.***
Lisa explained how and when they met and also said, that they can't meet, because of the distance.
Steve: ***Is that okay with you? I don't want to get into it, but here I am and it seemed like we've been doing well the last few weeks.***
Lisa: ***Yes that's true, but I had to admit to myself ,that I love Alberto.***
Steve couldn't understand how Lisa could love someone she had been with for two weeks. They can't even meet. He didn't know what to say. He said he understood and hung up the phone.
They've known nothing about each other ever since. The group of friends remained and Steve never saw Lisa at the party place again, but he didn't expect to. He soon got over the whole thing. He told the boys about Lisa and everything went on as before.
This story was written based on a true event, where Steve was me 20 years ago. All the names in the story are not real names.
The Case Of Steve With Lisa
Young Steve is in his twenties, a little shy and reserved, but all the more open with his friends. He kept to himself and found it hard to make friends. Even at work, he was always looking for ways to work alone. Of course, it was different there, because teamwork meant, that he didn't have the opportunity for that. He always did his job honestly and conscientiously.
As the months went by, he got to know his colleagues better and better, and they were able to work in harmony, as a good team should. His colleagues were all the same age as Steve. As they worked always in the same shift, they met every day of the week except weekends.
Steve's colleagues were young guys also in their twenties and had been good friends for years. They lived in a housing estate, only Steve was a bit out of the ordinary. Plus, unlike Steve, the boys were quick-witted, loud-mouthed and extroverted, but this was no barrier to them becoming friends.
Steve's withdrawn personality meant he didn't go out at all. Although he had friends in the housing estate where he lived, those friends were very different from his colleagues. The friendship with Steve's colleagues had deepened to the point, where he was no longer a stranger. He was quickly taken in.
From then on, there was no turning back for Steve. A new way of life had begun. They met more and more outside work on weekends. Since the boys had known each other for years, they went everywhere together. Weekend fun was a must. For them, a weekend wasn't a weekend if they didn't have fun.
Of course Steve joined the gang and the boys introduced him to the nightlife and its mysteries. Steve found the relatively quick change of lifestyle strange and the quiet, withdrawn introvert, soon became the devil of the dance floor every weekend.
Only one of the boys in the gang, Alex, had a girlfriend. The other boys also spent their weekends having fun as girl hunts. Steve was also single, but on weekends he threw off all his inhibitions and seemed to be replaced. The other boys were already proficient. They knew the nightclub well, having been going there for years. That meant, they already knew some of the girls.
The place they went to was in the heart of the city and was very well known, so it was packed with young people every weekend. The first night Steve walked in, he looked around in surprise. He found himself in an environment he had never been in before. The music was blaring, lights of all colors broke the darkness with lightning speed.
The crowd was unusual for him. He could hardly take his eyes off the painted young girls and the supply was so great, that he thought if he couldn't find a good-looking girl here, he couldn't find one anywhere. The first night was a memorable experience and he liked it. From then on, Steve and his gang could be found every weekend at a disco called the E-Club, where Steve was determined not to step out of the doors of the disco in the morning as a lonely guy.
Weeks turned into months. While the group of friends had fun every time, Steve left the place disappointed at the end of each party. Not because he didn't have a good time, but because the hunt didn't work out for him and his loaded rifle remained loaded. So he was forced to leave with the boys.
Then something seemed to change. One Saturday night, standing at the bar, Steve's eyes caught a blonde girl with a smile. He noticed she was watching him, too. They made eye contact for a while, but eventually she disappeared from Steve's sight. He didn't know what to make of it. After finishing his drink, he headed for one of the dance floors.
There was a large hall and a small room. The main hall played the latest disco hits, while the small room played classic rock. Steve ran almost frantically between the two dance floors. He would go into the crowd here and there, hoping to find the girl.
He wouldn't give up, shuttling and searching until he spotted her dancing. He saw she wasn't alone. She was with her friend. Steve thought, that might be the reason she'd disappeared from the bar earlier. Steeling himself, he summoned up all his courage and started going towards the girls. The girls couldn't see him because of the crowd.
He danced next to the girl he'd picked out, who recognized Steve immediately. They smiled at each other, just as they did outside the bar. They couldn't talk, because of the loud music and only by leaning in close could they understand each other's words. The situation was not so simple, because she was not alone and Steve was there with his friends, as always.
By this time Steve had been absent from the gang for quite some time, which was brought up at the end. At the place where the girls were, Steve was alone, but the girl was with her friend. They finally agreed to leave her alone for a while. Steve felt, that he owned the ground and that much depended on the first meeting. He was excited and fearful, that he would be put down, because of his withdrawn personality.
They retired to a quieter place and finally got to talk over a drink. Steve's excitement soon subsided, perhaps due to the drinks he had consumed, but surprisingly his mouth dropped open and it seemed as if his communication skills had simply been replaced for the better. He was not yet happy, but the girl's eyes and smile gave him plenty of chances to stay.
After the usual introductions and general introductory conversation, they went dancing back to where Lisa had left her friend, but she was gone by then. Luckily for them, they remained alone. Time was not on their side, as it was soon morning and there was only half an hour left of the party, which passed very quickly.
The lights came on, the halls slowly began to empty and the queue for the cloakroom began. Lisa's friend was already there waiting for coats and Steve's friends were coming out. They saw, that Steve was not alone. They could not hide their curious looks. Steve noticed at once, that they were being watched.
After picking up their coats, the girls and Steve went outside the disco, where Steve told Lisa that he was not, in fact, alone. He really didn't know what to do. He would have loved to accompany Lisa, but he didn't want to leave his friends behind either. They were sure to meet again some other time. Steve didn't want to rush Lisa right away to exchange phone numbers.
Finally they said goodbye. Steve's eyes followed Lisa as far as they could, and then the girls were gone. Meanwhile, the boys came out and they all headed home in the same way as before. Steve was full of questions. Would he see Lisa again? Would she come back next time? They didn't discuss anything specific about the next meeting.
End of part one.
If you're curious about the sequel, keep your eyes open. Follow up in the next episode.
Image Sources: Unsplash
Indifference Versus Motivation
In some of my previous articles, I have talked about achieving goals and how inspiration can have a positive impact on achieving goals and dreams. However, there are days or even weeks, that can go by when you simply don't care about anything, you are not inspired by anything.
We feel that the goal we have set for ourselves is too big and too far away. This is not what causes us to show indifference, but rather we are influenced by what is happening around us that day or week. Something negative, something bad, that makes us feel no positivity, no inspiration and nothing to motivate us to achieve our goals or makes our dream come true.
But indifference also manifests itself in other ways. In the last decades, but especially in the last 20 years, global warming, air pollution, emissions of harmful substances have been a very big issue. Positive things are not happening about these things.
Advances in technology are not helping these things, they may even be making them worse and even if there is new technology, that is trying to help these things, it is not increasing spectacularly. Even though hybrid and electric cars are being produced, people are not getting rid of their old cars, not everyone is taking care of cleanliness, rivers are just as polluted and so on.
I think that air pollution, water pollution, river pollution, could motivate a lot of people to help with this problem, because these things, like air and water, are essential for life. This requires changes to be made, but it is the fear, that holds people back from taking on something new. I have talked about this in previous articles.
Of course, this is not true for everyone. There are many people, who are trying to do something about it and to live in a better environment in a cleaner world. This is because, almost from an early age, people are motivated and interested in many things and strive to acquire as much knowledge as possible. Their interests are high.
The other kind of people are indifferent and not interested in things. Indifference is something about a person's life, that defines life much more deeply than has been explored so far. Indifference goes all the way back to the time when a person is a small child and begins to learn about physical life. We have no thoughts at that age to determine anything in our lives except parental emotions.
The way our parents behave, the emotional state they are in and bring us up in, is what we grow up in and it affects and influences our later life to a great extent. If there are negative emotions in the parent, such as fear, worry, self-doubt, lack of conformity, the young child will want to reject these emotions, because they crave love and attention.
These negative emotions are all unconsciously created in the parent, because they want to protect their child from the bad things, that are out there waiting for them later in life. They fill the parents with fear and anxiety and the child feels this, which they want to reject.
When a child picks up these negative vibrations and emotions from their parents, they will after a while behave in the same way and parents should notice this. It's like the child is holding up a mirror for the parent to see, to notice how they are behaving, what feelings they are putting into their child.
Because these processes are going on unconsciously in the child and in the parent, no one notices that. The child does not know why their parent behaves in this way and the parent does not know why their child behaves in this way. After a while, a few years later, the child gives up this constant rejection and develops a sense of indifference. This is why all humans have indifference by adulthood.
An Indifferent Child Becomes An Indifferent Adult
My generation grew up in a completely different way from the children of today. I am thinking of adults born in the 70's. It's obvious and really a fact how indifferent the children of today, the new generation, have become.
When we were kids, we were not at home. We were always outdoors with our friends. We did all sorts of things. Sometimes we were naughty, but that's in every child. It would be strange if a child wasn't naughty. Unlike us, you can see that young people today are not very interested in anything other than the internet, social media and computer games.
The interesting thing is, that I have heard from my parents how uninterested and indifferent the kids of that time were compared to my parents. Yet not much more than 20 years passed between my childhood and my parents' age. Could this be said of all generations? And what about our grandchildren? What will our children say to them and, more interestingly, how long will it take for them to notice?
When I was born there was no internet and no mobile phones. That came later. But the children now are born into it. It's amazing, that even a very young child can manage a smartphone to the point where they can start a video or a game. Of course, it doesn't take much science just to touch the screen on the phone.
Today's technology is becoming part of children's lives. It's a way of keeping them interested. In the early 60's, when television came along, it was the height of technology at that time and the same could be said for children at that time.
Each generation had its own technological achievement, that captured people's interest at that time. As the decades went by, the technology evolved and evolved faster and faster. The fear of encountering new things led to indifference and those who couldn't keep up with the technology didn't care what new technologies were emerging.
On the other hand, those who could keep up with the technology, because they could always pay for what kept their interest, could and always will overcome indifference, because they have the motivation and interest in new things. Those who don't have it, because they can't afford to keep up, will have no motivation and will look to resignation.
Summary
A person who has been living in bitter circumstances since childhood and has a lot of painful feelings and lack of attention and love and I could list a lot of negative things here, will always remain indifferent and will not focus on new things, will not have the interest and openness. Because of this, they will not be able to keep up and they will focus on resignation, or else they will get to the point where they have to give up something.
Image Sources: Unsplash
Staying Happy With Insurmountable Problems
Do we sometimes feel, that we have insurmountable problems? When we've tried everything, but we can't find a solution to our problems. We are faced with the problem. We can call them in many different ways. Difficulty, crisis, bad family relationships and so on. So there is the problem, which is given.
What comes next as a second step? The solution. We try to find a way out of the given problem, but I don't mean running away from it, I mean facing it and trying to come out victorious by finding a solution.
The third step is to feel better. We have lifted a big weight off our shoulders and we are relieved. That's all well and good, but in life we don't just have one problem, we have several problems, which may be smaller problems, than the one we've solved, but they're still there, but we feel better, even though we live with the remaining smaller problems and that's fine with us.
Let's call this kind of solution a middle-way naïve solution. Imagine we have a really big problem, that is vitally important to solve. So we look for the solution to the problem in the naïve model, hoping and knowing, that solving the problem will make us feel better.
What actually happens is, when we get to the bottom of our problem, when we find that we can't get out of it, we hit rock bottom, because it just knocks us down. Yet we struggle to get out of it and try endlessly to find different solutions to make ourselves feel better, but none of the attempts to find a solution lead to a good solution.
Because we cannot find a way out with the right solution, it makes us feel bad. This is just what happens in a really big crisis situation. However, what makes us feel bad is not the problem itself, but the fact that we can't find the right solution and keep failing. It is our attempts to find a solution, that make us feel bad, not the problem. This puts us in impossible situations and makes us feel helpless.
There is something missing in our attempts to solve the problem, that we do not realize. Think about it more. When two people argue regularly and each time it escalates into a fight, the regularity of the argument means, that after a while they are not fighting, because they have a problem, but because of the way they relate to each other. They constantly blame each other for something and far from the root of the real problem, they become enemies of each other, instead of caring about the problem.
There is the problem of addicted people, for example. There is the problem of being addicted, looking for a solution and getting better from it. It's the middle way naive way of thinking about solving the problem. There are people who live their whole lives with their problem unsolved, because they think it is unsolvable. Does that make them feel good? Do they live a happy life?
I have already said above that they do not, but I must say here that, despite this, there are people, who feel very well and live happily together despite their insoluble problems. How is that possible?
Usually these disagreements stem from a fundamental difference in values, a difference in personality, a difference in basic needs. Totally different people can thrive in constant disagreement. The answer to the above question is very simple. They have learned to live with their insoluble problems.
I know exactly what you're thinking. You have the idea, that they are living with it, that they have simply accepted, that their problem is insoluble and that they have no choice, but to accept that this is how they have to live their lives.
It is not the case at all. It's the other way around. It's not that they are resigned to living happily ever after, because resigning themselves to it is not the solution to the problem. It is a very wrong attitude and approach. If you have a problem, don't just walk away from it and live as it does not exist, because the problem is still there. The solution is, that one of the people arguing is not the same person, who was arguing when they started to solve the problem.
If I remain the same person, who had the problem, then if it breaks, if it ruptures, I will be no better. I can only get better by changing. The problem in question affects me differently as a changed person. Not in the same way as before, because I have a different attitude, a different way of thinking about it. Otherwise I would not be better. That doesn't solve the problem, it's true, but anyone, who has learned to live with an unsolvable problem has undergone a radical change.
Image Sources: Unsplash
Self-Sabotage I.E. Not Achieving Our Goals
Everyone sabotages themselves in some way. It would be a shame to deny, that they don't. Self-sabotage is in everyone, even if we don't realize it, because we do it unconsciously.
What Is Self-Sabotage?
When you know you have a goal or something you should do, but you don't do it, because you limit yourself in it. One of the best known signs of self-sabotage is not doing something, because you are procrastinating or afraid of something. You are afraid, that you might fail.
How Do You Know If You Are Sabotaging Yourself?
Dive into your thoughts and examine more deeply, what thoughts are going through your mind. Negative thoughts, self-judgment, feeling sorry for yourself for the situation you are in. If you are experiencing these, you can be sure, that you are sabotaging yourself.
If something in your life has not worked out at all or not the way you wanted it to, for example, you wanted to learn something, but learned something else instead, you wanted to travel somewhere but it didn't work out, you wanted to join a company, but for some reason you never did, these are also signs of self-sabotage.
There are also disappointments. Not just relationship disappointments, but also disappointments at work, with friends, or perhaps with family. It is also a sign of self-sabotage, if you didn't stand up for yourself in any situation, we can also talk about conflict at work, with friends or in a relationship, when you didn't fight for what was right.
The Main Signs Of Self-Sabotage Are:
**Other People's Opinions**
When you put more importance on what others think of you and try to appear and behave accordingly. You are afraid of what others will think of you if you don't do something or dress like most people and feel bad about it.
**Competition Against Others**
It is not advisable to compare yourself with others in dress, behavior or knowledge. If you see others as better, than you at something, having more knowledge, more money, you will only be holding yourself back in both getting ahead and developing your confidence and self-esteem. In short, you sabotage yourself.
**Repentance**
We say many times, that we wish I hadn't done it, that it would have been better if I hadn't interfered, and many more.
**Judgment**
Judgments are very often made about anyone or anything, without knowing someone or experiencing something. ***"I find this person very unlikable"*** even though we have not exchanged a word with them or ***"I certainly wouldn't like this food."*** How do we know if we've never tasted it?
The most common judgment is when we underestimate ourselves and say, ***"I can't do this. I'm not smart enough, strong enough, I don't have the experience"*** and so on. We deprive ourselves of a lot of opportunities. If I had told myself, that I wasn't good at blogging, I wouldn't be here now and I wouldn't be writing every day.
**Laziness**
This is the most obvious sign of self-sabotage. Just out of sheer laziness, we don't do our work and thus procrastination leads to a build up of unfinished business and in the end we don't even know which one to start with.
**Self-Loathing**
If you don't like yourself, you create a negative environment and atmosphere around you in which you don't feel good and therefore you won't take the necessary steps to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true. Your every day will be boring and you won't care that much about the people around you. You will blame yourself for everything.
It's also worth thinking about whether we are sabotaging ourselves in achieving our goals and getting things done, or whether we are being sabotaged by our environment. This can also happen, but in this case it is up to us whether we allow ourselves to be influenced by the people or life situations around us.
Others can underestimate us, not just ourselves. We hear that you can't do it or that you are not experienced enough and so on. If we are bombarded with these and similar things, we can lose heart and not even get on with what we wanted to do. Don't let yourself be influenced by anyone, because you sabotage yourself.
The other common self-sabotaging sign is when you have a very important meeting the next day, you have an interview, you have an exam or whatever, which is very important to you and you know you have to do well, because a lot is riding on it, but the night before you think it is important to keep watching your series, because you are dying of curiosity about what is going to happen and of course one episode follows another.
You can't stop even though it's very late and you know very well, that you should be asleep by now. Because of this, you wake up the next day tired and can't concentrate fully on what you're doing.
Usually, these self-sabotaging things are left over from our youth, inherited from others. If you recognize any of the above self-sabotaging signs, it's worth thinking about which areas you need to pay more attention to and work on.
Finally She Said Yes
She finally said yes. I could hardly believe my ears, when I heard the three-letter word slip out of her mouth. I was so happy, that I could have caught a bird and brought the stars down from the night sky. I had been waiting for this moment to finally say "yes" for a very long time.
I know what you're thinking, and maybe you've already imagined, that I'm living one of the most beautiful moments of my life, as I get down on one knee and ask my partner to marry me, and I excitedly take the engagement ring out of the little box and tears of joy roll down my cheeks as she says yes and I put the ring on her finger.
I have to disappoint you, because that's not what this is about. True, that happened years ago, but this is about something completely different. If you have a toddler, then you know, that saying yes for the first time can feel like a redemption for you. If you don't have a toddler, here's why it feels so much easier.
As a full-time daddy, I am with my little daughter practically all day every day from 7am to 7pm for 12 hours. God forbid, I don't mean to complain, but it can be exhausting to spend all day looking after, feeding, walking, learning, playing and everything that goes with raising a child. All I say or ask, the answer to everything is no.
When I can see, that she doesn't know what she wants, that's when I have the hardest time. Then there are a lot of options, that I can throw at her to make her happy. Here are my questions: ***"Should I read? No. Should we go for a walk? No. Are you hungry? No. Thirsty? No. Want to play a game at home? No. Do you want to draw or color? No."***
The answer is no to everything, and when she doesn't even want to watch cartoons anymore, that's when I'm out of ideas. Then comes the crying and I have no idea what's wrong with her, because nothing is good for her. It's almost out of control, because the crying turns into a tantrum and it's hard to calm her down.
About two weeks ago, she answered yes to one of my questions. The happiness was indescribable. There are almost no words. You can't imagine how much it makes my daily life easier. I finally know, what she wants, but it's also, because she knows what she wants. Since we can remedy the situation and we both know what she needs at the time, the crying and subsequent tantrums are not even close.
She is understanding more and more about what is going on around her and as her confidence grows she is doing more daring things, because she is not yet learning the consequences. A few days ago she had one of these tantrums. At such times, there is a so-called time out corner, where she has to stand until she calms down. This still has a new effect on her, so she willingly stands in the corner and we count to 10.
I asked her afterwards if she knew why she was standing there and if she knew that what she did was not a good thing. She said yes. Then without asking she ran to me and hugged me. I was shocked, because that was the first time she had done that. She calmed down completely after that and we calmly continued our day.
I showed no surprise. I took it completely for granted, even though it had never happened before. She had learned something new. She learned, that she did something wrong and that's why she had to stop playing and go to the corner. The hug was an apology of sorts. At least that's what I think. It also made me very happy and I now know how to handle it next time, when something like this happens.
Of course, I'm not saying she doesn't say no at all anymore. For example, when it's time to come home from the park, because it's lunch time or dinner time, it does take a while to get her going home. I have a strategy for that too. I start telling her we are going home about 15-20 minutes before. The answer is of course no, but that's enough time for her to realize, that she has to go home at some point.
Although sometimes it is totally unpredictable, because sometimes she says enough is enough and let's go home. This is the rarest case it has to be said. Of course, it is also true, that if she is playing with someone and they start to go home, she will also start to go home without a word, as if there is no point in staying there any longer.
The good thing is, that she has her own choices now and can choose which park to go to or which outfit to wear for the day. I give her the choice even if it takes longer to get dressed in the morning, because it takes her time to choose the outfit, but I don't mind, because it teaches her how to be decisive, which will be a great advantage later in her life.
Thankfully, being in the community is not a problem, because she is very friendly with everyone and not shy at all. Whether it's children her own age or older than her and she's not even averse to adults either. I am happy about this, because she starts nursery in September and I can already see, that she will have no problems with that.
One thing that I think will develop later, than it should is complex speech, because she is hearing two different languages at home. I speak Hungarian to her and her mom speaks English, so that will delay it a bit, but already she sometimes mixes the two languages.
These are the thoughts I wanted to share with you today. I hope it wasn't too boring. Thanks for reading.
Image Sources: Unsplash
How To Create A Lasting Impression
When we meet new people, and here I am thinking of especially friends of our own friends, I can't express how important it is to make a good impression on them. Not only for ourselves, but we also don't want to embarrass our friends in front of their friends. After all, they introduced us to them, it's important that the first impression of us is a particularly good one.
It doesn't take too much time for someone to make a judgment about us based on a first impression. If we have made a good impression on others, we should try to keep it in the long term, which may prove to be an even more difficult task.
What do you think about when you want to make a good impression on others? Appearance, how we are dressed, groomed or things like that? Appearance is also important, of course, but that's not what I want to talk about in this article, but rather what are the four emotions we need to pay attention to.
Your first thought will be how to make a good impression, how to impress the other person. If you have something in your mind about that and you want to throw it in, it may not work, because you don't know how the other person will react to it, what it will trigger.
If you fail to make a good impression, you're unfortunately in the category of people, who don't make a real first impression and that's a very difficult one to get out of. However, if you can show those four emotions well and use them in the right order, you can be sure of success, because you will make a lasting impression.
Positivity And Lightness
Relax and don't be tense. Be positive and make the other person smile and laugh. Make them feel that, they are dealing with a cheerful person with, whom it is easy to connect and start a conversation. Everyone likes positive and funny people, so they won't say no.
Confidence
Make the other person trust you and don't make a connection with ulterior motives. Nothing good will come of that. Usually people can tell, when we are not being honest and we only want to get to know someone, because we have a premeditated agenda to carry out. This will not make a good long-term impression in any way.
Respect
Be sure to give respect to the other person. It will be appreciated, because nowadays, unfortunately, the number of respectful people has decreased, but let's give respect to the other person. The reason why we use it after we have gained trust is because, if we use it before that, it might even look like manipulation to the other person.
Enquiry
Be sure to show interest in the other person. They will reciprocate and we will become interested in them. Don't pretend to be interested, what they tell us can again be seen as manipulation and prevent a real relationship from developing. Let's try to find a common topic of interest between us. We can only be positive and light-hearted if we have a common topic and feel comfortable with it.
A typical introduction goes like this. ***"Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm fine. How are you? I am fine too. Thank you."*** Here actually comes an awkward silence and we both wait for the other to say something. Let's put that aside and make this introduction a bit more interesting and bring it a lot more life. Like this: ***"Hi, how are you? Hi, Thank you, I feel fantastic."***
They're going to jump up and down, because they're expecting a simple *fine*. Then don't ask them how they are, but tell them straight away what makes you so sensationally well. This is where we can bring in the positivity and lightness described in the first step. This in itself will start a small dialogue or at least we will get a question or two. Then we can ask how they are. The answer will not be delayed and we will get more, than a thank you I am fine.
Once the communication is established, remember to smile, but be careful here too not to put on an act, but to have a genuine heartfelt smile. If they see a smile on our face, we can be sure, that we will get a smile in return and then we have a winning case.
A fake smile will be noticed immediately, because they can tell it is not real. Then comes the confidence building. Much of communication is non-verbal, meaning that body language and touch tell a lot. Don't be afraid to touch the other person in conversation. Touch can build a lot of trust in the other person.
Think about your own relationship. As time goes on, we get closer and closer. Touch becomes more, than a handshake or a hug. Trust grows with it. Therefore, when meeting a new person, don't be afraid of a handshake, that is confident and firm.
Maintaining eye contact at all times is very important as we are talking to each other not to the wall or the ground. When talking, pay attention. Don't overdo what you say and don't talk about things, that might make the other person feel bad. If they ask a question, answer with interest and ask back. The point is to get the other person talking about the topic, showing that we are interested in what they are talking about.
For simple and common questions, don't just give the answer, but add something to it. For example: ***"where are you from?"*** Simple answers can quickly end the conversation and make it too monotonous and boring. Not to mention that a question-and-answer type of conversation can be boring and interview-like.
So add to the answer by saying that, where you were born you love the town or village where you grew up and what you like about it, or say that you moved away from your home town early and explain why. How much wider the conversation is, don't you think? In return, we get a satisfying answer.
If something is not clear to us, we should not be ashamed to ask why. This shows, that we are not simply skimming over a topic, but that we are trying to understand as much as possible and get the most out of it. Mutual interest will not be lost and we will certainly find common topics.
Once the communication has reached a point, where we are comfortable talking to each other, we can feel free to ask the other person's opinion about something we feel they are interested in. This also shows, that we are interested in their opinion and they will feel honored to be asked for an opinion.
All Image Sources: Unsplash
Types Of Energy Vampires
In today's world, wars are no longer fought over gold mines, as in the 19th century, but over energy sources such as oil, or there is the media war for clicks and views. It takes your attention away from others and drains your energy.
With energy vampires, unfortunately the majority of people think, that if they need energy, they get it from another person, who is full of energy and not from natural sources, that are easily available.
After meeting such a person you feel tired and depressed, because the whole encounter was very one-sided and took all your enthusiasm away. This makes you feel depressed, but they feel recharged. During the meeting the relationship was not balanced energetically.
There are several types of energy vampires. Let me start with the one who, after experiencing a negative event, cries out to their friend and in doing so, actually transfers their negative energy to the other person. This is very common and a lot of people do this. I understand, that they want to let those bad feelings out, because after letting them out, they might feel better, but their friends could be drained from it. Of course if your friend listens and understands, then that's fine, but not everybody is equal.
Enviousness
Imagine, that you are going into something completely new and exciting, that fills you up with energy and day by day you can't wait for the time to come to learn about it, because you are so full of energy and you feel, that it has meaning, it has a potential future and you will make a successful living out of it. You are happy to tell everyone what your plans are for the future and what you are learning at the moment.
And then someone comes along and says: ***"don't joke about it", "you're not going to make it", "you're not good enough", "you don't know how to do it"***, and ***"it's a very bad idea anyway."*** You feel as if your enthusiasm has been pierced with a needle and just popped like a balloon.
Yeah, But... Type
I'm sure you've had examples, where you've come up with an idea, that seemed like a good idea and they've made an excuse, that it's not good now, it's not possible now. It could be, for example: ***"let's go to the cinema. Yes but, they don't have a good film now. Let's go to a restaurant. Yes, but now my favorite restaurants are closed."*** They'll make up some excuse for everything, just so you don't have a good time.
Another type, they asks you for help and you willingly help them and do your best. You give it all you've got. The answer is: ***"yes, but it doesn't work."*** You, who are trying to help with all your might, feel helpless, because you have run out of ideas and can't help any more. It can be very depressing.
The Sticker Type
I don't want to offend my poor friend and those, who might recognize themselves at this part. They talk about a great deal more and tirelessly. What we used to say about them is that *I can't shoot them*. I wouldn't call communicating with them a two-way conversation, because they just say their piece almost breathlessly, without caring whether you are engaged by what they are saying or not.
If you try to interrupt, because you have to interrupt, otherwise you have no chance of getting a word out of your mouth, then there is no chance of that either, because they will get the better of you and start saying even more of what they have already said five times. These people are usually lonely and it doesn't matter who they say it to or what they say. The important thing is for them, that someone listens to them. The problem with this is that you can't stand to listen for very long.
Pointless Debates
I often witness debates, that make no sense whatsoever. Someone picks on another person without any argument or basis in reality. The will to get a result does not even enter their mind, they just argue, because they feel like it.
Most of the time, these are pointless, reasonless arguments, in which there is no point in looking for the truth, but it is annoying, that someone has got into a fight over something trivial. You can see a lot of these on the internet in forums or social media in the form of comments. A debate can get so carried away, that it seems ridiculous to an outsider reader. I don't even get involved in those. I just laugh at it.
Emotional Blackmail And Manipulation
This is no different, when the energy vampire wants to make you feel guilty at all costs. They won't let you do anything or go anywhere, because then what will happen to them at home alone if you go and leave them. If something happens to them there is no one to help them. Everything will be on your head.
Even if you left home in such a case, you might not feel comfortable in the company of others, because you are always thinking about guilt. A lot of things can be achieved through this and similar manipulation. For example, feeling ashamed of something or feeling sorry for the person. They are really just manipulations and should not be taken seriously, because they are often unfounded. Here too the focus of attention and it is a childish thing.
Summary
If you are a *victim* of an energy vampire, you will definitely have a negative experience and you will feel bad, because you will be made to believe, that you are no good at anything, you can't do anything and you are a bad person. It can be a very one-sided thing and you can get very tired of it, because you are always giving and getting nothing in return.
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Lies To Fool Ourselves With
Have you ever been confronted with lies? I'm sure everyone has at least once in their life experienced the unpleasant feeling of being lied to and having to face all sorts of things, that didn't cover the whole truth. I have no doubt, that you have lost trust in someone because of it.
What about when you lie to yourself? You may find yourself confronted with your own lies day after day in a way, that completely deceives you and you don't even realize, that you have lied to yourself.
In this article, I want to talk about some of the things, that happen to us often in our daily lives and it is very easy to fall into our own trap. My aim with this article is to wake people up to these things so that the next time they happen, you don't slip over them and don't even notice them, but you pay attention to them.
I will Do It Tomorrow
I can't imagine how many times I've said to myself, I'm not going to do this or that today, I'm going to leave it for tomorrow. Actually, people are afraid to face their own difficulties on some level and like to put things off as long as they can. We'll say I will do it tomorrow. We know, that tomorrow is not far away and it doesn't matter if something is not done today.
Then tomorrow comes, but by that time we may have accumulated a thousand other things, that should have been done a long time ago and that we consider more important, so we don't do them today, because we think that another day will always come and we will have the opportunity to do what we didn't do the day before.
I Don't Have Time
This is probably one of the most common things, that comes out of our mouths: I don't have time. Every day is 24 hours and everyone has the same amount of time, no more, no less. A good time management can help with this, if we pay attention to what we do, when we do it and for how long. Everyone prefers to do what makes for a more enjoyable pastime, but we know, that we have to leave time for the important things too.
If someone asked you if you did what you were supposed to do, you would probably say no, because you didn't have time. Ask yourself why you didn't have time. If you go home after school or work and spend your time checking your messages, which is fine, because you might have important messages among all the fun memes, but it's very easy to get distracted by scrolling through Facebook or Instagram or watching videos on YouTube.
In the afternoons after work, everyone has 5-6 hours of free time and if you can dedicate just one hour every day to the things you should be doing, but aren't having fun, you've already taken a huge step in a positive direction. Many times we don't even know what our time has gone for, we just realize that it's 10pm again and it's almost time to go to bed. If you write down at the end of each hour what you have done in that hour, you will realize, that you have wasted a lot of valuable time doing nothing.
Nothing Works For Me
This is an excuse to tell yourself, that you'd better not do anything, because you'll never succeed. It's usually said by people with a lack of self-confidence and the like. They keep saying it until they believe, that they are good at nothing and therefore don't start anything.
It's a big self-deception and a poor excuse. If you take a pen and paper right now and start writing down all the things you have achieved in your life so far, you will realize, how much you are lying to yourself by saying that. You've graduated from high school, you've successfully completed all your studies, you've had successful interviews and been hired for a job, you've got your license to drive a car, you've learned to cook, and there are countless examples of what you've been successful at. So why not succeed at anything in your life now.
I'm Too Old Or Too Young For This
It's never too late to start, or so they say you can't start early enough. OK do not have children at the age of 11 and you don't want more children at the age of 81. You're really too young or too old for that, although there have been an example of an 11 year old girl having a child.
If you want to start a business at 30 or 35, start it and don't think it's too late. Another thing. Some musicians start learning a musical instrument at the age of 4, but why is it too late to start at the age of 30. Some people are already in their twenties, when they are famous, but don't let that deter you from learning piano, because you're too old.
Start doing whatever you want to do, regardless of your age, and put in the work and effort and you will succeed. Believe me, it won't be too late.
I Will Not Change
I will never change. You've got that written all over you and you will live the rest of your life as you are and in the situation you are in. Every person can change if they want to, but it takes a lot of effort, energy and responsibility.
If you don't want to step out of your comfort zone and take the first steps to create a better future for yourself and take responsibility for facing difficulties, you won't change and your situation won't change for the better.
It Was Fate That It Should Be So
This reminds me of a funny thing. I saw a text message that said: ***"Fate wanted me to write you."*** And the reply was:***"Then fate will be banned, not just you."*** That made me laugh.
All joking aside. It's okay for everyone to believe in something higher, in prophets, star signs or horoscopes, it's okay, because everyone believes in what they want and I don't want to interfere with that, but let's not think, that if something doesn't work out the way we planned it, that it's just fate and that's why it didn't work out.
We are just as much a part of our actions and our success is largely influenced by how and what choices we make. Fate will not always decide for us, we have to be there and do something about it.
I Need That Very Much Right Now
Many times I have said to myself, that I need a bar of chocolate, a bottle of wine, to get kicked out of my harness, things like that. I don't need them at all. They are just substitute actions, excuses to avoid facing the problem and to put it aside for a longer or a shorter period of time. It is not a solution, because the problem will not solve itself and will still be waiting for me after I have complied with the wishes.
I Do Not Need Help
There are situations, when it is difficult to get our way and we really need some help, but we still say no thanks I will solve it myself. If someone offers to help us, we must accept. Why put ourselves in a more difficult situation, than we are already in.
If we know, that we need help and we don't accept it, we do it out of pride and perhaps to prove to ourselves, that we can do the impossible on our own. People want to help us with a willingness and a good heart, let's accept it.
One of the last few days I saw a lady trying to carry her bike up the stairs. Without hesitation I offered her help, which she accepted immediately. This not only made her job easier, but also made me, the helper, feel good that I could help.
I Must Not Make Mistakes
It's silly. Just because we fear our failures and mistakes doesn't mean, that everything will work out perfectly. Sure, we should strive for perfection, but we shouldn't be scared, when we make mistakes. I do not want to repeat what I have already said in some of my articles and what others have said in theirs, I know it is boring, but we learn best from our mistakes. So dare to make mistakes and don't be afraid of failure.
I hope this article has been useful and you have recognized some of the things mentioned. If there are any, that I haven't written down, that you have encountered, please let me know in the comments. I'm curious to see what else we delude ourselves with besides these.
All image sources: Unsplash
Can Be Cheating Forgivable?
As @JonicaBradley mentioned in her article, that cheating can be different and can be done so many ways. I am talking about the most common cheating in this article, which is cheating in a relationship. This is for the writing prompt #6. Cheating. Enjoy!
Unfortunately nowadays you can read more and more about, or even sadder, experience cheating. You could almost say, it has become fashionable. If you are with someone for ten years, it is considered a long term relationship. Maybe I said ten years too much?
What is very depressing is, that break-ups and divorces end in cheating in most cases. That is, because most people are selfishly afraid of loneliness and don't say, that they want to end the relationship without a third party in the picture.
It makes no difference whether we are talking about a boy or a girl. It is more common knowledge, that boys cheat on girls. The majority may still be boys, but girls are no saints either. They can just as easily slip away and ruin a mature adult man.
I see in a lot of places nowadays asking the question of what constitutes cheating in a relationship. In seeing the answers I have seen very different opinions. Some say, that a kiss is not cheating, others treat it as a divorce.
What is certain is, that a kiss on the lips is a very intimate thing and that kiss is usually the start of a relationship. Everyone remembers that. The first kiss is not to be forgotten precisely, because it is no longer a simple friendly kiss.
In my opinion, even a kiss is cheating, even if it is said to have been accidental. There is no accidental kissing. I am either kissing or not. For cheating, there must always be a compelling reason. I think in a well-functioning relationship, cheating shouldn't happen.
There can be countless reasons for cheating alienation from each other and thus the sex life can be ruined. That's when one of the parties is most likely to cheat. When they no longer get from the other what they used to get. Once again, I want to stress, that cheating is not the answer. It's an escape from loneliness.
Is Cheating Forgivable?
If someone can forgive after what has been done to them, then they deserve it. In my opinion, someone who has cheated once will do it a second time and a third time. I could not go on living with someone knowing, that they cheated on me. I would break off all contact with them.
There are cases, where one party gets bored after many years, when the couple has already built a stable future for themselves. Perhaps they have started a business together, have a family and a property together. In such cases, the situation is not as simple as for a couple with no joint assets. It may be worth talking things through, because there is something to lose outside the relationship.
Usually, if one party lies and tries to make up all sorts of things to excuse themselves, it is a sign that they would stay in the relationship, because they love their partner and care about the relationship, but if they don't even have the decency to excuse themselves, then it is all over and the relationship has become uninteresting.
One thing is for sure in this case, there was a gap somewhere in the relationship where a third person had crept in. The best marriage in the world can be ruined by a relationship, but the worst relationship in the world can be repaired if the parties can improve their relationship.
In this case, cheating can be a wake-up call to the parties, that something is wrong, but they want to fix it, they want to save their relationship, because they value their relationship a lot and they don't want to lose it. Of course, it may not be the same relationship as it was before, because they want to save the common good rather, than the relationship itself.
The real thing to value would be if the parties, without any material goods, decided to give themselves another chance and start afresh. However, the offending party should be aware, that the offended party's heart will be broken, which may take some time to heal. This must be taken into account and accepted.
However, this pain in the event, that the parties remain together despite the cheating, should not last long, as the partner is there and they have not broken up. However, many people make the mistake of wanting to know everything about the third person.
They are driven by curiosity and do their best to find out even the smallest, most detailed things. What the third person looks like, whether they are better, more beautiful, what they have to offer and so on. That's the worst thing they can do, because knowing this only makes their heart hurt more.
The more they learn about the third person, the tighter the noose around their own neck. The more they think about it, the more it seeps into their consciousness and the more painful it becomes for them. This will make them unable to pay attention to their partner, because the third person is always on their mind.
Only if the offending party gives the offended party time to heal can the whole relationship be restarted. They should tolerate and understand the pain, but when it is over, they both accept that what has happened is in the past and move on. They close that gate for good and open a new one. Our mistakes are only worth making if we can learn from them.
Let that be our cue. I hope you have enjoyed this article.
All image sources: Unsplash
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