@Parnia 19 May 2022 more from that month

Medicines were supposed to make me fall asleep and let my body relax but here I am still counting the stars. I have counted 57 so far and there are many more but after looking at the time 00:00 I give up now. There are so many mid night thoughts in my mind right now and one of them is what makes me feel anxious the most and surprisingly It's not the fear of being alone It's not the fear of being hungry for days It's not the fear of being confined in a room for the rest of my life It's not the fear of being jobless It's the fear of not being with someone who is thousands of miles away (so far yet so near, ly) I have broken the promise I made with myself to not let anything/anyone effect my emotions and health again but it reminded me I still have a heart and it's not empty (there is blood in it lol) and it's not dead yet( thanks for giving it a new life) *This is why I don't like taking medicines* Happy New day!