No Strings

'You're the one who set the rules! Why am I being punished for following them?'

'I'm not punishing you.' He ran his fingers through his hair.

'Well it sure as hell feels like it!'

He sighed and tried to think of what he should say to her. She was right, he had been the one to set the ground rules. He just hadn't actually expected her to abide by them. If he was being honest, a part of him had wanted her to break them.

He should have known better. She didn't break the rules, not if it was for her benefit anyway. It always had to be for someone else. Should he be honest with her? Tell her the truth?

It was too complicated.

'I didn't mean for that to happen.'

He was sorry but saying it didn't seem like enough.

'Then what exactly were you going for?' She crossed her arms and stared at him.

If looks could kill... He thought to himself.

Of course she was angry. He'd been out of line. He didn't have any right to be upset about her going on a date. And he certainly didn't have the right to crash said date.

'I don't know. Maybe I just didn't like him.' It was a weak excuse and he gritted his teeth against it.

She wasn't buying it either.

'You didn't even know him. And besides, it doesn't matter if you like him. It matters if I do and I actually did, for the record. He was sweet and now he's probably never going to see me again.'

He felt equal parts guilt and relief at hearing her say that. He hadn't expected to feel that way seeing her with another man. He knew she had gone on a few dates; she had told him and he hadn't really cared but seeing it was different.

Until he had seen them together, it hadn't been real.

He'd assumed her dates were as meaningless as his had been. He'd gone out with a few women, even slept with them but it hadn't meant anything, there was no spark like... His mind trailed off. He really didn't want to go there.

No strings.

That had always been the rule. He'd told her that before he'd even touched her. He didn't want to give her false hope of something more than he could give. He didn't love her. So he told himself.

Looking back, it had been true when he said it but something had always been different with her.

He'd let his guard down; not just physically but emotionally. She had been a safe haven, non judgmental no matter what he told her.

No matter how many times he pushed her away, reminded her of the rules, she was still there in whatever way he would have her. He had selfishly held on to her and expected her to only look at him.

Part of him had hoped she would do what the other women had tried to do. He wanted her to say she wanted only him. She was the one woman he had wanted to break his rules. By some cruel twist she was the only woman who wouldn't do it.

Not that I'll ever tell her.

'I'm sorry. It's probably better if we just stop this.'

Even though he felt it, he couldn't say the words she needed to hear. The flash of pain in her eyes was too much for him to handle and like the coward he was, he ran.