Loss

He spits jewels on the floor. They drip, drip, drip from his lips.

Impossible. This is impossible.

Your mind struggles to understand the scene in front of you.

Not real! Your mind screams. Not real!

He shakes violently and your mind races through every possibility as you watch, hating yourself for your weakness. You can't move. You can't help. You scream inside your head but the words don't leave your mouth.

After what seems like an eternity, you finally find yourself next to him, kneeling down. Through the fog in your mind you realize your hands are covered, soaked in his blood as you press your sweater to his abdomen.

You don't even remember taking it off. Your own voice trembling with fear reaches your ears. You hardly recognize it, layered with so much desperation.

'Hold on'

You notice you're shaking too.

When did that start?

Brown eyes meet yours and he smiles a little trying to hide the pain even though he's bleeding out in your arms.

'Please.' You aren't sure who you're talking to; whoever wants to answer you suppose. You've never been one to believe in God in the traditional sense, but you've always believed there's something out there, even if you didn't know what.

Now that you need it, whoever or whatever it is, whatever form it decides to take, you don't care as long as it helps. As long as it saves this man. This beautiful, wonderful, amazing man.

Is it hot in here?

You wonder idly as you notice he's soaked in sweat, his brown hair matted to his forehead. You brush it away with one hand and he reaches for it lightly, tangling your fingers together, that sad smile still on his perfect lips.

There's a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth now and you let out a strangled sob and move to wipe it but his hand tightens on yours stopping you.

'So brave.'

His voice now is a pale whisper of what it normally is. You barely make out the words that leave his lips.

You shake your head and another sob wracks you. You don't feel brave. You know he understands, he always understand. His gaze fills with more love than anyone has ever shown you before and something in you breaks as you watch him, knowing there's nothing you can do.

He's too still.

The thought brings you back. You don't know how long you've been staring at him.

Not him. His body.

The tears still fall but silently now. It feels like the entire world has stopped, everything is still and empty.

That's how it should be.