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Inside My Characters Mind

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Avatar for Paganprincess
Written by   44
3 months ago

I was abandoned so many times. Left to rot on the side of the road like so much trash. Oh, I wore my heart on my sleeve and everybody knew it. They all had a piece of it and they all destroyed it.

Not one of one of them cared. Not one of them ever tried to make it better. Finally, when there was nothing left they all turned away just forgot like it didn't mean anything. I guess it didn't to them but it meant everything to me.

I didn't understand how people could do that. How do you leave a persons entire life in ruins and just walk off without a care? How do you see someone so completely shattered and continue on as though nothing is wrong?

You wanna know the saddest part? No matter how many times they hurt me, I kept going. I kept trying with people who didn't care. I tried harder, convinced myself they needed me. Just to give myself a reason to exist because if I wasn't helping people, what good was I? What use could I be if I wasn't giving everything I had to people even if it didn't matter to them.

I gave so much of myself to others that I lost sight of myself. Eventually I had nothing left to give. I was empty, hollow and in pain. Tired of suffering while others reaped the benefits of my loyalty while they did nothing to deserve it. I kept trying to see the good where none existed.

Part of me wished they could go through a tiny bit of what they put me through. I couldn't even begin to dream about doing it to them myself though even if they did deserve it. I couldn't stand to be the cause of their suffering so I found another way.

I took a page from their book. I stood back, watched and waited. Patience does pay off eventually it seems though, not as fast as I would have preferred. Better late than never, I guess.

Eventually they did what they always did. They came back to me when something went wrong. When someone turned on them or they were having a bad day and needed to vent. That's how it always was. When things were good they didn't need me and wouldn't spare me a second thought.

I was the one they came to when things were bad but it never worked both ways. They were always too busy to be there for me when I reached out, even if I begged it didn't matter. So I turned the tables. I became too busy for them. Forgot to respond to messages for days, if at all or just told them I was sorry but I had things to do. I had a life to live too.

Two wrongs don't make a right but I needed to do it. It was so draining always being there when they couldn't be there for me even once. If anything, I was even a little glad for them seeing what I had put up with all those years. The way I see it, it was karma finally starting to work and since I wasn't causing their issues, it wasn't my responsibility to fix them, especially the ones they caused themselves.

I think it might even be good for them in the long run. It might help them be more empathetic. Build some character. Everyone needs to stand on their own two feet eventually.

NOTE I wanted to try and get into the mind of a character I'm working on and this is where it led me.

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Avatar for Paganprincess
Written by   44
3 months ago
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Comments

Which character was that? Your character did the right thing to push them away, really. Some people are just not worth keeping

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3 months ago

It's one I'm still trying to develop for a story I'm working on currently

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3 months ago

Have uou ever hone and posted the story for this particular character though? It takes a while for me to get through my notifs these days now

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2 months ago

Not yet. It's proving to be pretty difficult. Plus, I haven't had a lot of time to write the past while.

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2 months ago

Well I'd be excited to read the story of this character when you finally have something for her >w< but for now, just take your time

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2 months ago

You managed well, it sounds very familiar to me. I have been there and... Deleted each one if them out of my life. 👍🍀

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3 months ago