Monday June 16th 1997
Daddy came home and the first thing he did was ask for me. 'Where's my little princess?' He said and I went to him. He's not my real dad but he's nice and he makes mommy happy so I like him too. I still love my real daddy too. We're going to spend time together next weekend he's going to take time off work for me.
Thursday September 10th 1997
Mommy and daddy are going out for a date on Saturday and daddy says I have to stay home. I think he is planning a surprise for mommy but he won't tell me anything about it.
Monday September 14th 1997
I didn't write for a few days because I was too happy. I was right daddy had a surprise for mommy. He asked her to marry him and she said yes!!! Mommy says we'll really be family now. I'm excited to be a flower girl but mommy says it won't be for a while yet.
Tuesday, October 5th 2004
I haven't written in a diary for years. I guess I just forgot about it. Truth is, I'm not sure why I'm starting up again. Guess I just need a way to deal with my feelings. I look back at my other entries and I remember how innocent and hopeful I was. I wish I was still like that.
After the wedding, things changed. Oh, and I have a little brother now. He's six. Hard to believe the last time I wrote in here he didn't even exist.
Wednesday, October 27th 2004
So much for my plans to write every day. My step father is always yelling at me. I can't seem to do anything right and mom has no clue because she's always at work when he does it. I try to hide out in my room. It's been happening for a while now.
He hits me too. The other day he hit me for no reason and then called me a baby because I got upset. He told me he was 'just playing.'
Sunday, December 26th 2004
We had family come over for Christmas dinner. I tried to stay out of the way. My step father called me lazy and everyone laughed. I hate my family. Every holiday they either ignore me or laugh at my expense. Mom doesn't say anything. I guess she thinks it's harmless and I just need to toughen up. She doesn't know I spend most of my time crying at night in my room. I'm not sure she would even care.
I wanted to spend Christmas with my dad and my grandparents but mom said no. Merry Christmas to me, right?
Monday, November 6th 2006
It's been a few years since I wrote but this time I have a good reason. I came home from school and found my diary open on the kitchen table. My stepfather called me an ungrateful liar and asked how I could write all those horrible things about him. It kind of put me off writing. My diary is supposed to be a safe place. It doesn't matter now though. A lot has changed. I moved in with my real dad a few weeks ago.
I told my mom I couldn't handle living there anymore and she finally agreed to let me go. I miss her but I think it's better this way. At least I don't have to worry about anyone hitting me or calling me names. I also don't have to worry about anyone going through my stuff.
Friday, December 1st 2006
I thought living with my father would be different. He's not around much. I know he has to work but it feels like he's avoiding me for some reason. I guess he's probably not used to having me around all the time yet. I'm sure things will get better, we've always been close.
Saturday, February 17th 2007
Things with my father got worse. I'm back to living with my mom again. Turns out being hit and called names and told how worthless you are isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. I couldn't handle my father anymore. I don't know what I did to him. The last straw for me was when I went down to have dinner. He was sitting at the table eating and just walked out when I came in. He would rather leave his food half eaten than to be around me. So I left.
Friday, October 26th 2007
I keep telling myself I'll write everyday but I never do it. I'm writing this now because it's been a pretty crappy birthday. Sweet Sixteen. Yeah right. Nobody even remembered except my grandfather. He called me and I'm glad because I miss him. I heard my father in the background. My grandfather asked him if he wanted to say Happy Birthday to me and he said 'Why?' My grandfather said 'Because she's your daughter.' and my father said 'And?'
Nice to know he doesn't love me. I guess I already knew that when he turned his back on me and when I reached out to get nowhere but it still hurts.
All in all, it's just been another day.