Tempted.... Almost

I am sharing this story not to humiliate myself. I am sharing this hoping that you might learn something from it.

Temptation is a desire to engage in short-term urges for enjoyment that threatens long-term goals.

Source

It was 2008 when my relationship with my husband was put to the test. I found out that he was cheating on me with his coworker. I was so lost at that time. I feel like the world has turned its back on me. The worst is that the girl befriended me and I trusted her because I was "uto-uto" to believe that nothing is going on between her and my husband. Then my husband decided to quit his job and look for another job just to make me believe that what they had has ended but later on I found out that they are still together. I was so heartbroken. I had no one to talk to. I cried almost every night.

So I decided to let them be. I really don't care anymore. I was so fed up with the never ending fights and quarrels. I thought that time "na magsasawa din sila' if I let them have what they want.

Then I decided to work. I looked for every available job here in Roxas City and I ended up in Phillips Company located in Banica, Roxas City. It was a company that exported meat crab. I applied for it and got hired. The job was to separate the meat crab from the shell.

There I met new friends, Monica( we call her mommy Nic because she is the oldest among us), Maribel, Ana Marie, and the two brothers, Charlie and Chargie. We belong to the same group. Having them around is new for me. With them, I learned to laugh again. For a moment, nakakalimutan ko ang problem ko sa asawa ko.

They comforted me when I went to work with swollen eyes because of my husband. It was almost every day that I go to work with like that. I can feel their concern and supported me every time. Then I learned to drink again, every payday, we always went out for a drink. Although I only drink lightly, I still go with them to have fun for a while. Mommy Nic is a widow, while Maribel and I are married and the three are single(that time).

Then I became more closer to Charlie. Charlie is the definition of tall, dark and handsome. He is 5'10 or 5'11(not sure), has a lean body, and is good-looking. I can feel his special treatment but I think of it as a sign of respect at first because I am older than him. I am 28 and he was 26. Although I love the attention that he is giving me because I longed for it, I still distanced myself from him and keep reminding myself that I am already with someone. And I am still not sure of his intention towards me, or baka nag -assume lang talaga ako that time.

Then he started walking me hanggang sa sakayan. It became so often that even our friends noticed it. Then he started making jokes like, if he was my husband, I would never suffer. Somehow it made me feel good. Alam nyo yung feeling na "someone wanted you" to be part of their life, that's the exact feeling that I've felt that time.

Then my husband noticed the sudden changed in me. I no longer care about him and all I wanted is my daughter. He started asking me if I have another man or if I am cheating. Oh my gosh, ang sarap ipamukha sa kanya that time na someone wanted me, na hindi lang sya yun lalaki sa mundo, na pwede ko din gawin yung ginawa nya sa akin, pero I just kept my silenced. Somehow kasi eh totoo yun mga sinabi nya, I started falling for Charlie. There was a time when we had an outing, my husband went with me. And he noticed Charlie's special treatment towards me that made him more suspicious. So lagi na nya ako sinusundo sa work together with our daughter. He started checking my phone so I deleted all of my photos together with them just to avoid the fights.

One night, we decided to have a drink at mommy Nic's house because it was her birthday. We had fun that night, we had so many drinks and videoke to the max. I only drink moderately because I don't want my husband to know that I was drinking with them. I was their singer at that time( I suddenly miss that moment). It was around 11 pm when I decided to go home but mommy Nic won't let me and wanted me to sleep there. "Hayaan mo na yan si Cris, wala namang kwenta yun." That was her exact line when she was stopping me to go home. She was already drunk when she said that. But I still insist to go home because I was avoiding to be with Charlie, I was afraid na baka tuluyan na ako mafall sa kanya.

So I went home, looban yun kina Mommy nic and dadaan ka pa sa palayan bago ka makarating sa main road, so I hurriedly walk. Then I noticed na hinabol ako ni Charlie and told me na ihahatid nya ako. I can hear my heart beat so fast,kinakabahan ako na di ko maintindihan. We were sitting in a waiting shed, waiting for a tricycle to passed by when he suddenly told me,

" I like you, sa akin ka na lang. Hindi kita sasaktan katulad ng ginagawa nya sayo."

Oh my god, ang sarap sa pakiramdam, ang sarap sa tenga, ang sarap sa feeling. After what my husband have done to me, someone wants me to be he's. He then hugged me so tight. Honestly, umiyak ako nun sinabi nya yun. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. We stayed like that for almost 20 minutes. Hindi nya ako binitawan until I stopped crying. Then he asked kung ano sagot ko. I told him na di na pwede, na may asawa at anak na ako. It doesn't matter daw na may anak ako, mamahalin nya din ang anak ko na parang anak nya. At that moment, I wanted to say yes. But I told him na pag-iisipan ko. I should have said no, right? But I didn't because I have liked him already.

When I got home, my husband asked me why I went home late and he smelled liqour in me. I just ignored him pero inaaway na nya ako. And I just cried, halo halo yun feeling ko noon. Naisip ko yun sinabi ni Charlie and yun pang-aaway sa akin ng asawa ko. Gustung-gusto ko na talaga makipaghiwalay sa kanya noon. But when I looked at my daughter who was sleeping beside me, I can't. I don't want my daughter to be in a broken home. I want her to have a complete family. I cried and cried until I fall asleep while holding my daughter.

Then morning came, I was having breakfast, my husband approached me. We talked everything that was going on between us. I told him na sya ang magpasya, if gusto nya pa ba na ipagpatuloy namin yung relasyon namin tutal di naman kami kasal. But he said na ayusin namin yun problema namin. Na magbabago na sya basta huwag lang daw ako mawala. Of course, I like that kaya we decided to fix everything.

When I went to work that time, I talked to Charlie about my decision. He was heartbroken talaga, hindi ko alam bakit ganun nya ako kagusto. And honestly gusto ko na din sya talaga but I chose my family. Importante sa akin ang pamilya ko at anak ko. So despite the feeling that I have for him, sinabi ko sa kanya na we can still be friends. Na yun lang ang pwede ko ibigay sa kanya. Na mas may deserve ng pagmamahal nya.

After that day, Charlie didn't go to work. Almost 4 days na di sya pumasok, I asked Chargie about him but he just said that Charlie is sick and was drunk almost every night. When Mommy Nic and the others decided to visit him, di ako sumama. I thought it was the proper thing to do.

After a week I decided to quit my job. To avoid Charlie and to cut the feelings that I have for him. After that, I had no news from him. Although Mommy Nic and Ana Marie is still my friends until now but the two brothers, I lost contact with them. The last thing I know was that Charlie also quit his job and worked in their farm.

Final Thought

To resist temptation means you have to have a strong mind. You should know your stand, know your priority and what's more important to you. To be tempted means you have to be ready for the consequences after. So think twice, thrice before indulging yourself into temptation.

The funny thing is my husband didn't change until I caught them in the act.

Lead Image Source

Date Published : September 4, 2021