@Ozzyy 2 August 2020 more from that month

Forgiveness

Sorry. The word hardly ever fixes the damage right? Sometimes, someone telling you “sorry” when they’ve wronged you is like breaking a plate and fixing it together with tape. Good as new, isn’t it? The fact is that however we see it, Sorry is just a word. It’s the emotion, the feeling, the mentality behind the apology that works. ‘To err is human, to forgive is divine’ - ? There’s a lot of reason behind this saying. In one aspect, forgiveness is knowing that the offender’s apology is inconsequential as far as the issue is concerned, and still letting go of all grudges. It is knowing fully well that ‘Sorry, Bro!’ doesn’t change anything, and still being able to let go of all grudges and start on a fresh note. Sometimes, it is a lot more complex. Sometimes it is about knowing that no apology has been offered, no remorse is being shown, and yet choosing to let go. Most of the time, this can be an unimaginable task: you’re badly hurt; emotionally and otherwise. You’re heartbroken. You trusted hat person a lot. Nothing should ever make you want to forgive or even let go of hat grudge; you have every right to seek revenge. But you’re still willing to forgive, to pardon, to let go of the anger. That’s what makes forgiveness special. Divine. Why is it important to forgive? Holding that grudge… how does it feel? Refreshing and Uplifting like a bright spring day? I think that’s a bit off. Let me try: Depressing, Heavy, full of malice, regret and disappointment? I think I might have hit the mark there. Bearing resentment and hate towards that person makes the person sick and weak every day right? Staring daggers at that person sure makes them anemic with excess bleeding right? No and No. When you refuse to forgive, when you continue to hate, you’re only doing yourself harm. Sure, you could (you really shouldn’t) go shoot the person (don’t try it at home), but you’d get 25 to Life, or the chair, and then, in my view, it’d still be 2-1 in the favor of the offender. The only way to feel good, to truly heal, is to let go and move on with your life. Forgive and Forget? Hell No! `Sarcasm: So @Ozzyy, you’re saying that despite the damage these scumbags did to us, we should just go ahead and forgive and welcome them back into our lives with big hugs and cookies?` `Me: Er… *adjusts tie and breaks sweat* No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.` Forgiving and Forgetting are two different things. If someone offends you deeply, it’s important to forgive, but you can’t just let the person back into your life. By offending you, they have, however painfully, shown you why you may want to reconsider future association with them. The rule isn’t that when you forgive, you welcome them back and act like nothing ever happened. It’s up to you to choose whether that person deserves a second chance, and even if they do, it should never be ‘Pause and Play’ or continuing from where you stopped from. There should be space and limits, so that person knows they’re not free to do whatever they wish again. If you don’t regulate these things, people will trample upon your feelings and take advantage of you. And if you’re seeking forgiveness yourself, I hope you know you’re not supposed to keep on making the same mistakes and offending that person repeatedly? In that, ‘Sorry’ becomes just a word – not a real emotion or feeling. You have to say it and mean it. Live and Let Live!