Two Fold Life.

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We have to take the good with the bad where life is concerned. Everything won't always go the way we planned it but we just have to go on to live it anyway. For every dark cloud, they say there is a silver lining. There is light at the end of the tunnel they always say too. There is no need to mention light if there was no darkness. Life is in two folds and we need to recognize this so we can be aware of it. Being aware of it doesn't mean we are inviting the worst to happen but whether we like it or not, there would be moments that would make us happy and some unexpected turn of events that would make us sad. No one wants bad things to happen but when they do, what can we do? We have to try and move on, no matter how hard it is.

I grew up with the idea that life will go on forever. I was naive and I didn't plan for the events that happened in my life's journey that got me here. Who would have imagined that my dad that I was so close to would go away from earth without warning? My friends in school were even more scared for me than I was for myself. I once shared how my dad would help me deliver a love letter or card to my childhood love then - that's to paint a picture to you guys how close we were. He would always visit me back then in school and he would never come without goodies for my friends.

My friends and roommates would always leap for joy when I tell them my dad would be visiting. They would never stay back after lectures the moment they heard that he is coming. They quickly rush back to the lodge to meet with him and shake hands with him when he comes around. He always comes around 4 pm to 5 pm. It was just a 30 minutes drive from where we stay to my school but still, I hardly visit home. I can count the number of times I travelled home especially when I think about the stress of going to the student affairs office to request an exeat. You can only travel once a month though...except there is an emergency. That's the life of a private university.

So, he would come around with a medium-sized cooler of food and drinks and of course, a lot of money for my friends and myself. My friends would know their dinner has been sorted out anytime he visits, so when he died, they were scared as to how I will cope and we were to write my 3rd-year exam in 2 weeks. He passed on without seeing me being a finalist - 4th year. I didn't even know how I wrote the exams but I know I didn't fail any course but it affected my CGPA anyway.

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What was I saying? That's life. You can't be too prepared either. It comes expected and even unexpected too but we have to understand this. Life is in two folds because some will like you while some won't. We make the mistake of focusing on those who don't like us. I always shove them aside like the donkey that fell inside a ditch. For every dirt they were throwing at him, he was shoving it aside while using it to climb up till the owner was able to rescue it. I don't hear their critics over the applause. We often allow the noise to override the cheers. I intentionally magnify the cheers so I can reduce the effect of the noise.

There would be days of excitement and days that there won't be much to be excited about. There are days we have to listen and there would be days we have to speak. We all have different views of life and we can only share them from our lens. We have different choices too and that's fine. We need to learn to choose our focus because whatever we focus on gets magnified. If you focus on the things that aren't working, it would prevent you from achieving anything meaningful because only those things that aren't working would be gravitating towards you. After all, that's what you choose to see.

Not everyone would love you. We are a product of our choices and preferences. Don't live your life trying to earn the approval of another person. The truth is, you will always have those who will cheer you as well as those who will criticize you. Choose your focus right. Some people are fueled with drama and that doesn't mean you have to attend the party. Be intentional about the kind of things you allow into your space for the sake of your sanity.

We have different people - those who are genuinely happy for you and those who are a box full of trouble that nothing you do can ever impress them. They want to topple you and they take delight to see you wobble. They don't care as long as you stumble because they want to see you fumble. This has nothing to do with whatever you did wrong, some people are just naturally bitter while some people have trained themselves to be happy for others and for that, they are better.

Hold your peace, guard your heart and don't become like those who hurt you. You have to understand that life is in two folds. You need courage to thrive in a world like this. There will be happy moments and sad ones. While we celebrate the birth of newborns we would always have people dying. We have the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the privileged and the challenged and so on. Learn to understand the seasons of life and the things that can rob you of your peace won't have that much of a stronghold on you anymore. Go on and be productive because there would always be side distractions along the way and how much attention you give to them would determine how much speed you can have.

Thank you for your time.