Relationship Class.
A relationship can bring the best out of you or bring the worst out of you...still, it depends on who you are too. We need to understand the relationship we have in our lives and do better with those that we have around us. The relationship you have around will determine the kind of access to the things you desire and the things others have access to from your end too. We all need to build relationships in our lives because after everything is gone, we are only left with the people we have in our lives.
Often we feel bad when people leave our lives. It is normal for you to feel down when someone leaves. You should also remember that you are not defined by those who left but by what you can make out of the relationship you still have left in your life. Stop losing sleep over those who left rather value those you still have... It doesn't mean you can't try to salvage the ones you have lost, by all means, try to if you can, especially if they are value-adding ones you've once taken for granted.
Relationship responds to nurture and is subject to seasons. There are some relationships that you need to nurture and there are those relationships that would come into your life for just a season.
I can remember having this amazing friend back then and we would talk every day. She had issues with keeping a man because, after a few months with these men, they always end up leaving. She was always moody. We would talk about it, I would give her advice and any guy that comes into her life I would tell her which one to go for and which one she should stay away from.
After a while when she finally found another man; a serious and ready-to-marry kind of man, I noticed she withdrew. She told me about the wedding only a few weeks to and I didn’t even know when the introduction was done.
Of course, I felt bad and used because I felt the relationship was mutual and I classified her as a "user" until I realized that my work was done with her and she needed to leave. It's painful but my job was done, I shouldn't be expecting more than I've done. I was just there in her life for a reason and a season.
I was in her life for that particular season to help her get through that period and when she was done with that period, I now understand there was nothing much for us to talk about and she needed to focus on her newfound love. I am not expected to play God in her life when my work was done. Most of the time we try to lord it over those whom we have been opportune to help at a time; thinking they should always come around to pay homage to us but that is wrong.
You need to understand that some people are in your life for a season as you are in other people’s lives for a season too and when that season is over, you will just notice that you will naturally drift away. If you try to force that relationship, you will both end up hurting each other and if it lingers, resent each other and the good work over the years would be undone.
Categorize your relationships with people so that you won’t have unrealistic expectations. The extent to which you are exposed in a relationship will determine the extent of your vulnerability. When you understand everyone’s role in your life, it would be easier for you to understand their part and not unnecessarily feel aggrieved when they leave.
There are some relationships that you have to nurture - staying close, checking up on those people, reaching out to them because a time would come when you need a lift of whatever form, and once you knock on their door, they will graciously open up to you. The relationship you fail to nurture can never yield anything of worth to you. It is like a bank deposit sometimes - if you don't fill it you won't get anything. It doesn't mean you keep people around because you might need them, no... It only means that life happens and it's naturally good to invest in people and build relationships because no one can make it in this world all alone.
A relationship that you have failed to nurture will not be there for you when you need it the most; which is why we need to categorize the relationships in our lives and also treat every relationship with love and respect.
Categorizing these relationships will allow you to know who to fight with and those you are not supposed to fight with. Just because someone corrects you over an issue doesn’t mean that person is opposing you. We often get confused about this most of the time and pick up a fight with those we are not supposed to.
Some people will be sent into your life or that you will encounter in your life’s journey to support you or those that you will have to support too. Understand those in your life and know which relationship to nurture and those to let go of.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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Indeed, people will come and soon they will go but we should remember that those who left would never define who we are. Their stay are seasonal and sometimes conditionally.