Human Ways, II.
We can’t change anyone and that is what most people need to understand. They feel offended when someone didn't take their advice or listen to them. Rather than hold someone by the shirt to be heard, you had better hold your tongue than them. We can suggest and advise, but the decision is entirely left to them to accept and change, based on the information they have been left with. They have the right to process things and decide if they want them or not. You might not agree with someone but you have to respect their right to their choices.
When you can’t change someone, you will choose to change your view about what they are doing that you don’t like. I might not be able to make you act in a particular way, but I can choose to see what you are doing differently and if I can’t, I will let you be until you realize the effect of your action. It's very simple. Life is not hard but we just sometimes enjoy the complications that come with it.
Human nature will kick in and humans are one of the most unpredictable sets you can find. Our human nature will always spring up but it takes conscious effort to tame our excesses and not hide under the idea that we want to be accepted the way we are. As you have the right to act the way you choose, others have the right to decide if they want your kind of energy around them.
A man was trying to save a snake in the fire and as he attempted to save the snake, the snake bites him, causing him excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake and the snake fell right back into the fire. The man thought of what next to do and he looked for a metal pole to take the snake out of the fire. He did and took the snake out of the fire, then later released the snake. Someone who was watching approached him and said, "That snake bit you. Why were you still trying to save it again?" The man said something that struck me: "It is in the nature of a snake to bite and that can never change but it is my nature to help and I don't want that to change as well." It's all about a choice.
We react badly when we are trying to save someone and they still either don’t appreciate it or hurt us or make us feel like we are too much. We feel that is the end of trying to do good or help anyone. Once we have been hurt by one person, we generalize and try to change our good nature, but that is wrong. Once you are good, you are good, it's simple. When the action of one person or others would easily change yours then your resolve isn't strong enough. You can withdraw from the person, yes, but it shouldn't stop you from being there for others. Never change your attitude or nature due to someone’s inability to appreciate it. It is human nature to hurt and disappoint but what is the nature you are trying to build?
Just as I said earlier, you cannot change anyone, you can only try to accept people the way they are, point out what they are doing wrong and then leave the choice entirely to them. You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head but you can decide for the bird not to have a nest there.
Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Don’t lose your good heart too, because their human tendency kicked in, but there is no law against taking precautions. Yes, you can take precautions but don’t stop being good. One person might take advantage of your goodness but there is also someone out there who wouldn't.
I learned a lot from my dad while growing up and I have inculcated that into my behaviour. I will always do the best I can do, regardless of whether the person is taking advantage of it or not or whether the person appreciates it or not. It is not so much about them eventually, but about me. I won’t lose myself because of someone’s negative attitude but I can determine also the kind of energy I want around me.
Most people’s loyalty will change when they see a better facility than the one that was first offered. Learn to accept people for who they are and never allow them to influence your good nature.
I wrote this poem a long time ago...
Learn to live with human nature and tendencies
Even when you already understand their pretences
Life should be lived now and not in the past tense
You need to view everyone with possibility lens
We are all humans after all; with the good and the bad
No man can change anyone, learn to take precautions
And learn to understand humans and forgive in advance
Hard but not impossible, just learn how to pick your battles
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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Nobody can change my ways easily, human being can be difficult to change, mostly people believe In their self and they think they knows it all, human cannot be changed easily