Actually this question appeared on my mind when my teacher ask us if what and whom are our dreams for? And I answered him in a simple long message with a thank you.
I'm thankful for having a teacher like him who keeps reminding us especially in group chat to stay positive and to keep reaching everyone's dream. I found him passionate, I just feel so emotional because this past few days I'm not feeling good and worst of all my suicidal thoughts are becoming active again.
I truly enjoy writing, I cannot deny the fact that I hate writing before. But, during the times na wala pang platform like this lagi akong nagsusulat sa notebook. And yes, maybe writing is my real passion.
I plan to quit many times, na ihinto yung pagsusulat because sometimes it's giving me a hard time to think about what topic will fit for today, or iisipin ko na, "Is this really for me?"
I already told by many people who surrounds me that writing is not a good passion because writing is just writng and they said some people hate reading, but there are people who loves reading. I appreciate my work more by writing them and not na idadaan sa ganito, and ganiyan bagay.
When I'm still in Grade 7, Gusto ko talaga mag join sa journalism sa school. Pero nahihiya ako because I don't want someone to judge me, I can't accept judgement before because of my lack knowledge about what judgement made for, I hate to admit my mistake or else it makes me mad whenever someone is pointing out my mistakes.
I'm a loner also so it makes sense. I hate someone who's entering into my life without asking me first.
I Remember when I was still in 10 or 11, g5 ako nun. I love reading news paper and then iuunderline yung important words na mababasa ko and make a sentence out of it, and I really love to buy a notebook and to express what I feel each day inside them. There are times na I'm writing some bible verse that is connected to my day without knowing na that's what you called devotion pala. I already done it many times but this year ko lang nalaman.
I want to be a lawyer before, but when time goes by I just realized that I enjoy writing more than reading those Revise Penal Code, etc.
This article has a life story of mine, so pasensya if medyo napapalayo tayo sa topic pero they're connected somehow..yes somehow?
I'm not sure eh?
So let's go back to the topic.
When my teacher said na hone this talent, I realized something. Being a writer is not bad, huh? I have so many notebooks here na meron nakasulat na ganito ganyan. It's kinda sad for me because I didn't join journalism before, kasi naman...I don't want to be judge and descriminate by someone who doesn't even know the real me. I often get angry rin sa mga taong gusto idown yung kapwa nila even if that person is doing their best for their own dreams and free will. I guess there's no free will if someone is controlling you.
When I'm starting writing pa, I told myself before na, "I won't make this", and I told myself that writing is not for me so I give up easily without thinking twice and without thinking na this one will takes time.
Well, everything takes time.
I can't imagine the fact na I'm totally enjoying it right now, parang noon lang paulit-ulit ako sa sinasabi ko na, I don't want to write, I don't want this kind of thing, etc..but somehow bigla nalang nagbago mindset ko and it nasabi ko sa sarili ko na "Reaching dreams is not bad either, reaching them for my own free will without letting someone step down on me is already a big achievement".
Welp, writing wakes me up. It helps me to be a better version of me, and it really helps me to have a new friends, to entertain more, and to meet a users who same as me.
And I'm so thankful, because I was able to meet all of you.
And also,
Thank you for the users who kept me motivated to write kahit di ako dinadalaw ni rusty. Your words and comments are everything to me. I'm so thankful kasi dahil rin sa pagiging motivated niyo mas naging motivated rin ako to continue.
Authors Note:
A simple words from all of you especially for the users who told me na I'm one of your inspiration, thank you. I really appreciate everything from my heart, all the motivational words from all of you for me not to give up means a lot to me also. The upvotes and the supports that I get even though I'm that busy is always touching my heart. Gusto ko bumawi, once rusty visit me again babawi ako. I can't thank y'll enough for everything then let me na makabawi when rusty has a come back for me.
Again, Thank you. And loveyouall
Happy 10 months everyone!
9-26-21
Ako naman gusto ko maging writer sa wattpad dati. Hahaha kaya eto ako ngayon nagsusulat dito kasi tinatamad ako magpublish ng kada chapters. Belated happy 10 months! 💚