When I Was Saved From The Edge Of Death: Ovarian Cyst/Cancer.

I crossed to @FarmGirl 's article titled "Living... Aging... & Some Laws" where she said, "Life Is Short." Indeed.

Her article reminds me of my survival when I was admitted to the hospital due of my ovarian cyst. Today, I wanna share my thoughts about when I was saved from the edge of death during those times.

Sorry for the grammatical error, I was sleepy right now and the time is 3:31am yet I can't sleep because I need to finish this article for tomorrow.

Today was friday, I have 5 days keft before my midterm, I take a rest day. I feel tired and idk why.

I was on my 9th grade when I figure out that there's something wrong to my body. I start gaining weight, even if I'm not eating. My period became delays and I still didn't go to a doctor that time and yes, I am aware that it was wrong.

And, that's where my battle start.

When I'm done with my operation, my big brother told me to agree with biopsy so that they can figure out what is the result of my cyst, and the result was "Malignant.", I remember during the operation, I was still conscious that time and I'm not even sleepy. I feel like my energy was all recharge and I can hear all of them asking for the tools that they are using.

My obgyne suddenly said, "Oh, this is gonna be complicated." And she asked the nurses if my parents are on the outside, she goes outside and asked a permission which is I didn't know what is it. After that, when she go inside, she look at me if I am awake and she said, "Gyra, I'm gonna take away your left ovary okay?." At first, I want to disagree because I don't want to lose one of my ovary and I thought it was only the cyst that needs to remove. I was going to say "No." But I can't blurt out any words so I just nod my head as a "no."

I heard her cough and said, "I can't do that, I already asked your parents and they agreed. Your left ovary can't handle any longer and it has a child already, whenever your cyst rapture, everything will be complicated." After she said that I don't have any reason to say no so I just nodded as a yes. She took a deep breath and said, "You're still young, why you already have this kind of sickness?."

And when the biopsy has released, I'm sad when I figure out that the result was malignant. But at the same time I am thankful because I am alive. But the thing is, recovering is kinda struggling than what I'm expecting hehe. Until now I can feel the inside of my tummy xd

That time, I just realized that life was really too short. I didn't pay attention to my health before and that was the results of my wrong doings, where I really regret everything. I didn't even know that life is really important, and I'm slowly killing my own self just to satisfy my happiness.

I'm just doing it because of bullying, the feeling of being unloved, those offended jokes who was said by my classmate and teacher were really affecting me.

The reason why I became too quiet and why I'm choosing the people who's wants to become part of my life, it's because I hate someone who will bring me down, who will judge me, the people who just need me whenever they need answers to their quizzes. To be honest, you guys love saying offended jokes and insulting words without being aware that someone is being affected by that.

If I will ask a question, is that making you guys happy? Then sorry but not sorry. All I can say is, when you love to offend and to insult someone, you don't deserve to be human.

For those who loves to hurt someone's heart, you don't deserve to be part of their life.

However, I am thankful because of my partner I was saved. If ever she didn't force me to undergo with the operation, maybe I'm no longer into this world since I know that my body was already against with this life of mine. And I am thankful for those people who choose to support me when I got hospitalized, everything was not easy.

I thought, I was going to die early just like what I am wishing for but I'm wrong. I even realized that life is important and I'm wrong to choose death than being alive.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes, we often wish for something that we may not. Like dying early or giving up into this world, but as for my experience. I have this experience where I realize how important the life is and how important everything is. I love how I live right now, I love how I see myself returning to the happy version of me. If ever I go back to the gloomy me, I swear that I'll be back there stronger than those old past days.

By the way, black friday everyone! Black friday everyone! Have a essential day.