Tomorrow Is My First Day At Work: I'm Nervous and Worried.

"Just smile, at the end you'll end up doing your best even if you fail."

Those words are keep repeating inside my head where I am kinda nervous and kinda worried about my performance to my workplace. I mean, I'm not a native english speaker, and I'm not best at speaking english. In the end, there's a failure where I know that would be part one of the best lesson in our life to apppy on our next move. I'm not a good speaker, where I can say everything that I want to say using english.

It sounds like a failure, but my TL said, "At the end you guys put all of your efforts so do your best. Passed or fail, bring everything that you can."

When he said those words, I can't stop thinking that, yeah, he's correct. I'm already here, we all already here so why would I back out? This is it. I already put my effort during assessment, initial and final interview and during training. I need to become more positive right now since this job is my dream job for a long time already. But because I just have a weak mind, I can't continue at where I applied before and what I'm doing is always backing out. Now that I'm here, I need to put everything and to pursue ny long term dream.

My payment every month is just 200$ plus 40$ as allowance. I still have some cash left from writing at this platform and I guess I need to control everything so that i can't run out of money. But wait, my 150$ suddenly lowered at 100$, that's hurt. I don't know when the bch will pump but I'm planning to convert them all if it's continue to dip.

So let's go back, as a first timer agent or worker, I am worried what if I got terminate because of being nervous? I mean, I can't utter a word everytime that I am nervous or worried about my performance. I want to give everything that I can, I want to give everything that I have. This may be a challenge for someone like me, but as you guys said, this is just the start where I'm going to learn life experiences about work.

Last day, I told my TL that I'm nervous and he said, "What did I say if you're nervous?.", And I remember when he said, "Don't be nervous, you're already there. Nervous can bring you down so stay calm." He also reminded everyone that we are all lucky because there's so many applicant and we are the one that HR chooses. The one who interviewed me, said that they have no problem about my comprehension but I just sounded like I am nervous.

Lmao, I'm not going to deny that since I really was HHAHAHA.

See? I'm waited for like 11 hours for my final interview and suddenly I'm going to back out? No no, it's a big no. This is a big opportunity for me to explore and to learn new things that I still didn't learn.

But still this nervousness of mine are still eating me. I mean, I'm prepared, I think? But yeah. I'm almost prepared but not totally prepared.

My working hours is 11pm to 8am so I already knew that there won't be enough time for me to write and to read here. But still I will try to write and I will try my best to do the things that I always doing with or without work. I just need enough tome to rest hehe.

Dear me,

Alam ko kinakabahan ka, siguro dama mo di kapa handa para sa susunod na bukas, na di kapa handa para ipagpatuloy ang susunod na yugto. Pero nandyan kana, pinaghirapan at pinagdasal mo lahat kaya win or lose just do your best. Siguro maipapayo ko lang as bilang sarili mo na walang ibang pwedeng magpatatag ng loob mo kundi ikaw mismo, andyan yung pwedeng madown ka, andyan yung pwedeng madapa ka ulit. Andyan yung pwedeng may di ka maabot, pumalpak ka at iba pang bagay. Pero lagi mo tatandaan, sa huli dapat alam mo parin tumayo, dapat alam mo paring manigurado sa lahat, dapat alam mo parin tumawa at dapat alam mo parin na yung ginagawa mo is andyan ung pinakabest pqra sayo.

Kasi walang manyayare self, walang manyayare kung patuloy mo hahayaan yang takot mo na sumubok ng ibang bagay.

Final Thoughts.

So the election was already done, I hope everyone is happy about whoever wins. Let's just oray for the better leadership at the presidential that can help Philippines to grow. I hope bashimg each other will stopped soon. We already hurting each other becausebof what happened.

Praying for the best!