How many times have you cried out that you need help, screams that have no voice and screams that they cannot hear. Shouts that you can only see in laughter, there are secret words, "I need help."

You can't ask for help, you can't talk, you can't say what you feel for fear that others will say, "Ignore it."You secretly glance at people you thought you could ask for help, people you thought would notice the sadness you have.

People who you thought would greet you when they didn't know where you were, people who would wonder why the joy you show is different. In the end, all of that is like a warning, warnings that maybe today, maybe tomorrow or maybe the next day you will be gone.

Some days you have an appetite, some days you have almost no energy. Days when you don't want to socialize with the people around you, and days when you don't want them to notice that at the same time you're not really okay. You secretly show that you need help, help that only one person can criticize, and that is the person who really knows you.

You don't want to go to school, go to work, and go anywhere because of your mental disorder. In the end, the first thing they say to you is, "You're absent again." who couldn't even ask, "Are you okay? Why didn't you come in? ." Things that make them angry because you didn't say you were absent, you weren't going. Things that made them angry because you chose to be silent, and you chose not to speak.

If you speak, will anyone listen? Or will they only follow their own beliefs?

You are getting tired of things that happen almost repeatedly, you don't understand if the people around you know your point. Or not at all because they only think about their reputation, it's tiring to hear words from people who don't know how much you're hurting and how hard you're trying to overcome everything. They are too deaf, they are too blind.

Just with your simple request that they would understand you, even if it's just a little, they still can't do it. Even if they understand you and know what you want to convey, in the end they are still deaf to the fact that you don't like whatever is happening now. It's like we're at the point where we want to say what's the weight and pain we feel, but we can't because most of the people we know around us, in the end they follow their own beliefs.

Let's be honest about the part that we don't really understand them, it's not possible when someone says that, that's why it's like this because you won't listen to it anymore. maybe we are deaf to listen to others, our eyes are blind to see how heavy and how difficult it is for them to perform the things they should perform because of their problem. it's not because, this is what is happening to them, or this is what they are going through, that we will not listen to them anymore and we will not listen to them at all.

It's just like people who you see are very happy, always laughing and almost always smiling, do you sometimes not think about how they are doing especially when they are alone? Let's admit it, sometimes we only think about ourselves.

• It's always our mistake that we don't listen to them, it's always our mistake that we focus on us being right and them being wrong. We don't even think, that they might be in such a situation that's why the result is like that. We are too one sided, whether we admit it or not, yes we become like this.

• It's also important to them that someone will listen, it's also important to them that they can release the weight in their heart. It is very important to them that somehow, someone will stay by their side through thick and thin.

For me, the only answer here is, let's learn to be open to everything. Not all the time, they will adjust just to be with us. If you know someone who is not used to a lot of people, and is not used to getting along, just understand. Don't tell them that they need to learn to get along, because we have different habits and experiences.

Final thoughts

• Thank you so much @CrazyRichFilipina and ate @Adrielle1214 for the sponsorship renewal! Masyado akong di active pero I'm so happy na nakasupport parin kayo sakin 💓

Also, thank you so much for the people who keep supporting me despite of being too much inactive! I'm trying ny best to write an article kahit 200-300 words lang perday. By the way, I'm hoping that everyone is alright! I'm also done renewing some of the sponsorship. Lovelots everyone!