While I was browsing on the Journal Diary days ago, there are questions that caught ny attention. Those questions were kinda personal and I love that kind of questions or topic since I can relate well. To be honest, I'm not doing good this past few days because I feel sad and ofcourse you guys already knew the reason. And yeah, it's because of my family again. Lmao, when did I feel happy whenever that I'm talking to them? I didn't, right?

I feel so stress whenever that I am talking or chatting with them. I just wished that I hope I can disappear whenever that they want to talk to me, I hate this feeling because I can't imagine why my own mother just cared wbout the things that we wanted and not even care, even just a little bit for her daughter?

I'm so fed up with all her lies, all the reasons that she was giving that is out of nowhere when I find out from my niece that my father was not asking for this and that. I was so fed up with the reasons that she was giving and the expressions that I can see with her face whenever that I'm talking to her. I'm so fed up with my emotions that even me, I'm already having this bad understanding where I know I should stop everything that causing me stress.

Welp, stop this, let's set aside this one since I'm having a hard time understanding everything and I really hate it to be honest.

So while I was scrolling to my journal diary, this questions caught my attention. It's kinda personal but yeah, let's answer it.

Do you enjoy spending time alone?

The answer is, yes. I love spending time alone even if there's many people who were inviting me to join them. You will always see me spending my time alone everywhere while looking up the sky or wasting my time watching in youtube. When I'm on my break, I always want to stay beside of the fish pond where there's a sit and tambayan there. My mind is at peace when I'm alone, but I'm always with this officemate of mine where he's the one who sharing his secret to me, he also loves being alone and he is the most older one to my teammates. So as being fair, I also share mine. He act like my big brother and I am thankful because whenever that I'm not okay, he's always there to ask me if how am I and always reminding me to eat my food so that it don't get wasted.

Whenever that I'm with him, I always remember my cousin, the one that I mentioned who killed herself because of depression. She's always like, "Eat your food and finish it." It can't help but to make me smile while remembering her because she's the one who's forcing me to stand up whenever that I'm supposedly to give up.

What situations make you feel terrible, and what do they have in common?

Situations? It's only one situation who makes me feel terrible and it was my anxiety. Everytime that it was messed up, I can't sleep, I can't even eat and I can't think exactly because of what I feel. I am full of worries and I am full of questions like what ifs or whatsoever.

I'm a person who can be easily affected especially when it comes to my parents, their words is mean big to me and nothing more. So sometimes I can't help it when they were saying this and that and all I can do is to cry everything since I can't handle them. Lmao, I'm such a cry baby and I'm sorry.

When other people said this and that to me I'm not affected, but if it's my parents I am super affected like there's no tomorrow hehe.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve experienced?

HAHAAHA too many! I can't mention anything so I just leave it here nothing.

I already told you guys about this one so I will not going to answer this again hehehe.

Final thoughts

Hi! It's my partner's birthmonth and I am thinking what should I do on her birthday, can you guys recommend something? I'm not good at the things like this so I was 50/50 at everything since everytime that I was asking her, all answer she has is always, "Anything will do." I am planning to treat her or buy her something that she can use. But I can't think of it.