For The People Who Deserves a True and Faithful Love.

I was reading an article when I read @Carewind and @Aiah05 articles regarding their heartbreak. And now, I'm about to share my thoughts about it.

Allow me to share my experience where there's a huge lesson taught me not to play someone's heart.

As you guys know, I've been broken and devastated years ago because of my 3 years ex. There are times where I want to play someone's heart because I want to get revenge, I want to play with someone because I want them to feel how badly hurt am I.

But I didn't do it, even if there's a voice inside my head saying, "Do it. You'll not going to regret it.", Oh no, my consequences was quite huge and I can't do that kind of sh*t to hurt someone just because of what I've experienced.

But things got worst, I never thought that one day will come where I'm going to ghost everybody who wants to court me, and I didn't know that it will hurt me a lot. There were one time where there was 5 people who wants to court me, I answered them that it's okay and after that I suddenly disappeared and block them. I even changed my simcard so that no one can contact me again.

After that, I receive a chat, let's call him Mel. Mel is a guy who used to like me eversince I was in highschool, he was 7 years ahead from my age and all I can say is he was good. He's friendly, he's a good guy to be honest. He was asking me if he do something wrong for me to avoid him, at first I didn't pay attention to what he said, all I want is to avoid them as much as I want and as much as I like.

So here's what happened; year 2019.

There is one guy who really like me, that guy showed his love to me everyday, but yeah..sadly, I'm not into boys.

He like me since I was in highschool, her auntie used to be one of my family business reseller. I can see all of his efforts, I already told him to stopped but still he insisted. So what happened is I avoid him, that's the time that he asked me if he did something wrong.

I know that time that he deserves someone better who's going to love him and going to show what love is, the one who can fight for him and yhe one who can reach their dreams for their own. I can see that he has a big potential when it comes to things and others, but no matter how much effort he put, I always ended up being creep out because I'm really not into boys.

There are times where there are words inside my head saying, why I didn't try to play with him? Since it was easy for me to ghost someone. But wait no, I might hurt his feeling if I do that.

When morning came, I receive a call and a chat from him saying he wants to see me and talk to me. I agree about it, we met at 7/11 and that's where he start asking me. I told him everything, that I only see him as my big brother that's why I told him to stop before. I said that he deserves someone who can love him back and who can love him more than what he is. I td him that I'm not that girlz I'm not the one who can love him and fight for him.

Because I know he deserves someone better than me.

Last January 2021, he invited me to his wedding. At first I was shock since I don't have any idea that he's going to get married. But I can't come since it was far from my place. I congratulate him, and I just said to myself that, "My decision were right, he really deserve someone."

Lesson:

I'm not regretting anything that I rejected him many times, if there's something that I'm going to regret to is it's where I'm become a coward or tanga into my 3years ex hehehehe.

Well, what I learn is it's better not to play with someone's heart but instead be honest with your feelings also.

I ghosted like 30+ people already that who wants to be part of mylife, except the person who I love right now. I'm not that kind of person who's serious when it comes to love because of the traumatic event, not until I learn to love this person because of her small gestures even if borh of us are on the Long distance relationship.

After 2 years of being afraid about commitment, someone suddenly grab my heart without a warning. And I really love that person right now. Hey, you know how much you're important to me. See u in the next 17 days.

I was laughing to myself since it was the first time that I give my trust again to someone who's far away from me, I used to think that someday she will going to left me and find someone better in the midst of nowhere.

I didn't open up to her about my situation that I have a cyst, because whenever that I'm doing that, all I can think is she's going to leave me also just like what my ex did. Don't blame me, I'm just traumatic during that time.

Because of the traumatic events that occurred years ago, it was hard for me to think that I'm enough, I'm worthy, and I'm lovable. All I am thinking is I'm just a useless person who wants some attention but not worth it for everything, that's how my mind works. Not long enough, she asked me about my situation and I try to open up to her. I am ready to her response, like maybe after I told her the truth, she's going to leave me and find someone who's better than me. But wait, I'm wrong. After I told her the real situation that I have, she's the one who pursue me to under go check-ups again.

Do you guys even know how shock I am that time? 🥲.

I was like, "Wait, what's happening?.", I'm expecting that she's going to broke up with me but instead she's the one who remind me each day and almost EVERYDAY about my check up.

She told me that I deserve everything that she was showing, at first I'm not agree because I know the issue between me and myself.

Okay so let's proceed to the topic,

For The People Who Deserves a True and Faithful Love.

• I read an article where that user or author questioning herself because of being single. Girl, no...stop.

Don't ask yourself why you're still single, the right one was already on its way. God is working on it right now, always remember that someone will just come into your life when you're not wishing for it. If it happen, trust me, you can't feel anything but only being comfortable with that person. However, let's still guard our heart if ever there's something going to happen.

Let's just pray for the best, the right person will come. That person

Trust the process always girl, the love that you're looking for will be there soon 😘

OGLU2022
March 06, 2022.